Beyond Skin Deep

Well...the end of 2013 is nearing an end!  What an absolutely wild ride it has been. 

So many milestones to be thankful for...so many blessings to relish. 

I have run the gamut of emotions...walked a whole lotta miles...climbed a few hills...lifted a few weights...played a little volleyball...lost some weight...gained some weight... gained some precious new friends...grown closer to the Angels in my life...and lost some as well. 

If I stop to really take inventory of everything that has happened to this Fluffy Girl in the past 12 months. ..I think my head would explode from sheer amazement and my heart would burst with gratitude.

As I recount the highlights of my Journey over the last year...I must first acknowledge that I have taken several steps off the path I have been on for the last 16+ months.  I have not stayed on the straight and narrow....BUT...I think I have learned a valuable lesson (or two) this holiday season.

It is my natural tendency to overeat or eat poorly. Truthfully. ..I am most comfortable in that skin.  But the other truth...the more significant truth for me...is that in the short time I have slipped back into some old habits...I feel terrible and I have been consistently ill with the flu or a cold since Thanksgiving.

Not to mention that mentally and emotionally...I am not as clear or strong. 

Yes...I am comfortable all snuggled up with my fluffy self...but it really is only skin deep...only surface comfort.  If I tell the truth...and God knows I try...below the surface...beyond the fluff...I get uncomfortable really quickly.
There is physical pain as well as lovely emotions like guilt, shame and regret. 

BUT....There is Good News...before this Journey started....I had no accountability. ..no frame of reference. ...no inspiration...no idea I could climb a big rock or hike a long trail.  I did not know I could climb a big ass sand dune with Inspiration holding my hand.

I did not know that I could feel like a different human...change the trajectory of my own life by truly trusting God's plan.  I did not know then that I had EVERYTHING I needed tucked neatly underneath this Fluffy surface of mine...

I did NOT KNOW THAT 16 months ago...BUT I DO NOW!

So...as I reflect on 2013...I will build on the lessons I have learned...the gifts I have received and the Love I have been shown.

I will grow my confidence,  practice living out loud...training my mind and body to fully believe that I deserve a healthy life.  I will continue to practice telling my truth...even when it sucks! 

I want this year to be a continuation of a Journey that goes well beyond Skin Deep!
Here are a few 2013 Highlights:

No Resolution...Just Re-Commitment

WOW!! It has been a great weekend of San Antonio holiday FUN!

I am home...tired...agood tired...but most undoubtedly fluffier!!

I have just a few more days till I re-dedicate myself to the purpose and original intent of this Journey. No New Year's resolutions....just a re-commitment to what I have already started.

I am READY. 

So for tonight....I need to get some rest....here are a few pics of our weekend!
I loved my time with my girls!

Angels Watching Over Me

Happy Saturday...We have had a busy, busy day here in San Antonio....

We "remembered" the Alamo....We believed it ( or not) at Ripley's Museum of Oddities...we filled our guts with tacos and tamales and we shopped til we dropped.

I am only hoping that the miles of walking somehow offset the grease and cheese.

Today I received lovely bits of inspiration from 2 special people in my life...

One from my friend Brig in the form of a Facebook post seen below.

The other came from my friend Kerri in a Twitter post.  She shared a quote from Inspirational:

"You were strong enough to get this far.  You are strong enough to keep going"...Then she simply wrote: YOU!!!!

So Precious...both of you!! THANK YOU!!!

As I sat dinner tonight with my giris at the festive Mi Tierra...I noticed this angel...literally hanging over my head! 

I loved the symbolism...Angels are ALWAYS watching over me...Thank God!

Ready to Roll

So today was a rollercoaster of a day.  I began with an early day at work...

At 11:00 AM, Randa's Memorial Service began.  It was very touching.  There were tears and laughter as the minister relayed stories told to him by those that new her best.

After the service, we all gathered at one of Randa's close friend's home...where we continued the celebration of her life!  More tears...more laughter...more rollercoaster. ..

As the afternoon arrived...it was time for Mom, Emily and I to head to San Antonio for a weekend getaway...a Christmas gift from me to them.  As I drove, they rested.  It gave me time to absorb the events of the day.

Again, I thought about how often I think of Life as a rollercoaster ride. ..the ups/downs....moving at a snail's pace....then abruptly followed by a burst of speed...an almost out of control kind of speed.

Today was a perfect example of that for me...a tough, painful moment...followed by a slow upward tick...then the burst of speed...from sadness to laughter...from sorrow to joy.

So the joy has come here in San Antonio....I am with my girls...we have laughed, looked at beautifully lit trees along the River Walk, we get to spend precious time together on the same day we said goodbye to a loved one.

Life is strange and completely beautiful.  Truthfully,  I fear the rollercoaster at times...but I do not want to get off....I want to experience all of Life as God has planned! Until the ride stops...and it is time to go Home!

For now....I am ready...seat belt buckled. ..and ready to roll. 

Sweet dreams my friends!

Looking for Some "Selfspiration"

Hello and I hope your post Christmas day was splendid.

I was back at work today....feeling a little more than sluggish and trying to get the visions of Sugar Plums out of my head...

In the next few days...I am going to recap this amazing year...highlight some of the great blessings I have received and I will be looking for inspiration within my own Journey. ..I guess you could say a little "Selfspiration"

OK...SO...I am completely off track...a slight derailment off my intended path..so my goal is to spend just a short time reviewing where I started....how far I have come...and I will detail where I hope to go!

I have gained some weight and am not feeling my best...two things I need to change. But instead of putting myself down....I will be in pursuit of ways to lift myself UP and Forge On!

Of course...I will still need the Village. 

So...I will begin the cleanse in January. ..resume my fitness schedule and I am committing to completing 2 mini-goals per month.

So Please stay tuned!

For tonight, I am asking for prayers for my friends as they say goodbye to their sweet niece, daughter, sister, cousin, granddaughter and Mother. Tomorrow is Randa's Memorial Service and all of your prayers are appreciated.  

Goodnight my friends...hug somebody...tell someone you love them...smile at a stranger...God's love grows each time we share it!

The Christmas "Gift"

First, I truly hope today was a day of wonderfully warm Christmas moments that filled each of you with Joy.

I hope that whatever you did that you felt the Miracle of the Birth of Christ.

My day was full...full of more gifts than I can say...not presents ( yes, I got those too)...No, I am talking gifts! Time with my family...laughing...playing...gifts wrapped in warm hugs, sweet words and laughter.

I heard from friends near and far...wrote the words "I love you" and received those words...I saw pictures of  happy kids.. and grown-ups too.

I got to SING Christmas songs at the top of my lungs... and even sang a few Barry Manilow tunes INCLUDING Copacabana also in loud fashion!! Quite a show!

I had the honor of watching my best friend's family gather together in the middle of a heartbreaking time...and tell great stories about their final days with Randa...they shared beautiful moments with each other with some great love and humor.  Though I know they are all hurting...the gift of family...the gift of celebrating a life...filled the room.

I got to share another Christmas with my sweet Mom...sharing gifts, laughs, music and lots of love. 

And again....though I do love me some presents....the Real gifts of this Christmas were found in the moments....of love, laughter, vulnerability and strength. The Moments that first came with the arrival of a bright star shining like no other star before or since.  The Birth of a Savior!

2 In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2 (This was the first census that took place while[a] Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 And everyone went to their own town to register.

4 So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 5 He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child.6 While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
    and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

15 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

16 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17 When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. 20 The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising Godfor all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

So...my day is done. I wish Christmas for each of you throughout the year...All the love, light and gifts you can possibly imagine!

Goodnight and Merry Christmas!

The Revealing before the Healing

Merry Christmas Eve...or morning!  It has been a wonderfully full day!

Started with some last minute present wrapping...a trip into the depths of insanity that is grocery shopping on Christmas Eve.

Mom, Emily and I attended a beautiful Christmas Eve service complete with beautiful music, a meaningful message and even a little snow...man made of course. 

Given how challenging this Christmas season has been...we opted out of cooking and had a lovely dinner out! 

Mom and I gave Emily her presents...and I gave my "girls" a weekend getaway trip to San Antonio...we leave Friday!

As great as the gifts, meal and laughs were...just being with my loved ones was gift enough.

As I listened to the sermon tonight...the minister (Kerry Shook) said something that really hit home for me. 

In my own interpretation, this is what I got:

We celebrate the birth of Christ today...the introduction of The Light Of the World.   Through that Light, God shines on those dark moments in our life...He provides us with the Light we need to see outside of those shadowy, painful moments that break our hearts and our spirits at times.

He said something that I really loved and felt like I fully identified with...He said that when God shines this Light on our lives that it can be uncomfortable....when that Light shines on the shadows...The Light can be revealing before it is healing.

WOW...this so fits for me.  The Journey is about stepping out of the darkness and into the Light. The healing only comes AFTER the revealing.

My Journey is about revealing ALL those things that keep me sick, tired and overwhelmed...and HEALING my body,  my heart and my spirit....but the revealing comes BEFORE the healing...and the healing WILL come.  Both are born out of the Birth we celebrate tonight...the birth of Jesus Christ.

I hope this Christmas we are ALL healed by the Light of the World!

Merry CHRISTMAS!!!!

Christmas Hugs

Merry Christmas Eve...Eve...

It was nice to leave the office today knowing that I did not have to come back til Thursday!  Yay!!

I finished up a few last minute items tonight and got to see some lovely Christmas lights...pics below!!

I am ready for the break...ready to see my family...ready to hug and love on them.  I am ready to spend some time with my friends...hug on them too!

My Christmas wish is that I could personally give every friend and family member a hug...and lose weight doing it!!

That would be Sweet! 

Seriously though...for tonight I am again grateful for the blessings of this day. ..blessed to have gotten to spend some time with my friend Lindsey, blessed to have a job, blessed to have time with my Mom sharing the pure joy of Christmas lights...and blessed by the knowledge that I continue to be on a life changing Journey!!

Goodnight my friends and may the Joy of this Season warm your hearts! Christmas Hugs!

No Time Like The Present

Hello to all...a very late Sunday post!  Trying to put together some last minute Christmas spirit.

Last night...I finally finished my shopping...spent some time with my Mama...and with my friend Donna...she and I even got in a little shopping.  I am glad she wanted to go with me for a little shopping.

Despite the heavy heart, I do want to keep Christmas and keep it close in my heart. 

Mom and I started our day in church...I got to sing Christmas music. ...always makes me happy. Spirit filling and Life Affirming.

That is what my hope is...for those feeling empty from the loss of a loved one can feel the true love and spirit of Christmas and that can bring some Life Affirming moments...moments that soothe their broken hearts at least for a while.

So...I am choosing to actively seek Joy even among the sadness.

I want to surround myself with people I love...I want to hug them...tell them I love them...laugh with them...look at Christmas lights and thank God for my time with them...every moment!

As much as I love presents...and I do...both giving and receiving. ..my goal this Christmas is to BE Present! 

I want to be Present in the Blessings God has given me...Present in my own life and Present in the lives of those I love...

After all...There is No Time Like The Present.

I wanted to share a little Christmas cheer from our home!

Joy to The World!

Praying for Peace and Comfort

As many of you know, I have been asking for prayers for my dear friend Donna's niece Randa.

Randa has battled a very aggressive form of breast cancer with great courage and hope.  Today, Randa passed away. 

Her family and friends were with her for these last several days as she battled these final stages of this devastating disease.  She was 31 years old.

My heart breaks for her family and friends as they grieve her passing.  I pray that they are comforted in some way by the knowledge that God is surrounding them with his Love and that Randa is pain free and finally resting comfortably at Home!

It is never easy to lose someone to cancer or for that matter, any other disease or tragedy.  It is always painful.  For me, it always seems so much more painful when a young life ends too early.  There is always the thought of what if...

Of course, this kind of loss during the holidays is even more challenging.  I am really aware that this is a difficult time of year to manage grief.  I think for me, Randa's death is another loss in what has been a very challenging Thanksgiving/Christmas season.  I have seen a friend lose her husband to cancer, lost a former coach to an accident and found out that another friend will be battling cancer as well. 

Of course, watching my best friend and her family come to terms with the loss of one of their kids...well...it just devastating and breaks my heart.

Moments like this again remind me of how very precious life is...how unbelievably fragile it is.  These moments make me feel an unbelievable sense of urgency to make sure that everyone I love knows it...believes it...and trusts that no matter what happens...that love does not wane. 

I have been consistently praying for Peace and Comfort for my friend and her family.  I pray that they can know that they are loved and I pray that they can love each other through this time in their life. 

As I write this...I am aware of heavy sadness...a knowledge that I am overwhelmed by this kind of loss and watching people I love be in this kind of pain.  I pray for God's wisdom for how I can be supportive, loving and helpful during this time.

I ask you for your prayers.  Prayers for all of those people who are experiencing the loss of a loved one....I am asking for prayers for my sweet friend Donna, her sister Lynn (Randa's Mom) Josh (Randa's brother) and Randa's young son Tristan..as they move forward.

My hope is that all of us will be open and willing to love each other.  To remember the real reason we celebrate Christmas and that all of us...as children of God, be willing to reach out to those that need comfort during this Christmas Season.  Remember...a great gift is just love somebody in a way that they know it fully and completely.

I thank you for reading my words and appreciate your prayers.

 

Rest in Peace Sweet Randa.

Peace and Good Will Toward Men

It is FRIDAY!!!  The weekend before Christmas.  Still so much to do..but should all be fun!!!  Just a couple of weeks away from a new year...and a cleanse...I am ready!!!

Today is Day 7 of the 30 Day Plankapaloozo!  Yesterday was a day off and today...we have to plank for 40 Seconds...translation...too damn long!! LOL!!!

My workout schedule has been wacky...between my body recovering from the germs to my crazy schedule...has been inconsistent at best!  Going to try my best this weekend to get back into some kind of routine!  And of course...I will be planking daily!!! 

So...I have a few Friday Funnies for you....

 

 

OK...for whatever reason...I think the above "mouse stirring" is absolutely hilarious...I just love it!!! 

 

 

 

Also...very cute!!!! 

 

As I enter this last weekend before Christmas...I am aware of everything this time of year represents...I am aware how blessed I am that I get to celebrate the Birth of Jesus and the overwhelming Love that single event represents.  Every year, I vow to keep Christmas in my heart all year long.  I will again strive for that...

 

 



 

 

 

 

Be the Blessing...

 

 



I AM NOT DONE YET

Another late night...I am out Jingling My Bells...shopping! 

Had our company Christmas party today and came face to face with the Calorically Evil Maggianos Italian food...but DAMN...IT WAS GOOD!  I tried a little portion control...but enjoyed myself.

I soooooo continue to struggle with food BUT still so clear that I am meant to take this Journey...keep on rolling...gather no moss or fluff!

I had the opportunity to tell my "story" tonight to a total stranger...our server at dinner! I had ordered a lighter version of a menu item and she mentioned that she lost 70lbs in 1year...Triumph!
Of course...I had to share with her the whole story...at least a semi-Reader's Digest version. ..about how I was inspired by the amazing team of  Kerri Walsh and Misty May...how I decided to document every single day of this journey in a blog...pester Kerri and Misty on Twitter in hopes they would check out the blog...have that blog as a form of accountability. ..

I got to share with her how my life has been changed...I got to tell her about the beyond amazing Kerri Walsh Jennings!  I got to share the hope of this Journey....

But something else happened for me...I was reminded that I very clearly need to continue being accountable to myself...to those that have supported this Journey. ..to those that have taken a risk on me...that believe in me and believe I have what it takes to reach my goal! 

As I recounted the story...I was reminded that before I started this Journey....I was in a pit of sorts...so sick and so sick of being sick.  As I told this story...my story, I was able to see where I have come from...see the progress...see the Hope!

I needed that...I have been feeling stuck...and am afraid of staying stuck in this bit of a slump.  After tonight...getting to do what I love....TALK....talk about the blessings...share it with a fellow defluffer...share just a tiny morsel of the ways God has blessed me...I realized

I AM NOT DONE YET!

AND...I need to reaffirm my goals...share them...own them...and challenge myself to realize them.

Accountability and Responsibility have been and will continue to be, key elements to my success. 

Quite frankly...this is not a one "girl" job.  I am not the lone wolf type...I need a village. ..complete with those that know me best...have seen me at my worst and cheered me at my best...those that I meet in passing...those that stop and stay a while and those they take up permanent residence in my heart!  I need the encouragers, the task masters, the huggers and the ball busters...I need those that think I can and even need those that think I won't! 

I need the inspiration! 

God saw fit not only to present an opportunity for me to be inspired...but the even more amazing opportunity to have that inspiration as a part of my life AND He has opened my eyes to ALL the inspiration that surrounds me...

I cannot give up...and I truly mean that. ..I CAN NOT GIVE UP...I DON'T WANT TO!

That my friends...is a miracle!

LOVE...

Plankin' and Shakin'

OH MY GOODNESS!!!  IT IS LATE!

The Christmas Rush is in full swing! Shopping, Shopping and more Shopping!!!
Tomorrow is our company Christmas party at Maggianos...where even the salads are fattening! Great food...un-BELIEVE-bly high in all things bad...at least bad for a fluffy girl on a mission! 

But as I have previously confessed....I am not exactly blazing a weight loss trail these days... More like just trying to survive the holidays!

So...today started at 7:00 am and at 1:30 AM, I was on the floor of my bedroom...planking!!!  Yes...today was Day 5 of the 30 day Planking Challenge!!  Just know that when I plank..my entire body shakes...trembles...like I was trying to hold a 200+ lb person up off the ground...Awww...Hell....that is exactly what I am doing!! Who we kidding! No wonder I shake...Planking bites!

Ok...I must sleep...keep this old fluffy girl in your prayers please as I tackle more challenges tomorrow and face off against calorically evil Italian food! 

I must keep moving forward! 

Goodnight!

Places to Go...People to Love

Hi!! We are inching closer and closer to Christmas and I am completely unprepared....at least so far!

Tonight...I am just fried...very ready to have some down time and get some sleep!

Emily and I studied for her Religion final  tonight...gratefully, she studied for Math on her own...I am feeling fairly confident that I could NOT pass her Math final! 

Truthfully. ..I am just really tired and really praying that this miraculous journey continues onward and upward!

Tonight is one of those nights that I just need to shut it down...no making decisions...no pondering what the next right step is or how I am going to proceed.....just be still...rest...trust...breathe and know that God's plan is in full swing...despite my current food battles! 

My Aunt Charlotte sent the below!  I like it!

So good night my friends...Trust the Plan and Believe in the direction you are traveling!  Enjoy the Journey!  We've got Places to go...People to Love!

Lazy Eating...Lousy Feelings

Happy Monday!  Yes...I am still practicing my Happy Mondattitude!!

Today consisted of work, shopping, studying for End of Quarter Finals with the Divine Ms. Em, light work out, grocery shopping, planking and blogging!! Whew!!!

So here's how I see it...at this rate, by the end of the holidays...I will be smarter AND have six pack abs!!!  OK...maybe not!

But I am enjoying my time with Emily...and I am enjoying polishing up on my 5 stages of Mitosis

Interphase
Prophase
Metaphase
Anaphase
Telophase

I HOPE WE GET AN "A"!!!

OK...seriously though...I must pull the curtain and confess...I probably am having my biggest struggles with food that I have had since the beginning!  Just lazy eating...not taking the time and energy it takes for me to eat healthy!

It must stop.  I am actually looking forward to starting a 28 day cleanse in January!  Last year, I was soooo worried about it...this year...I am like...BRING IT!

SO...I started my workouts again today...1st time since the flu ( other than starting the 30 day PlankFest).

I wanted to give my haggered immune system the chance to fully recover!

So...I cannot continue this downward food slide...it genuinely makes me feel lousy on several levels. 

Lazy eating leads to lousy feelings!

So, please keep me and my sudden lack of willpower in your prayers!  

Fluffy has gone wild and needs to reel it in!

For tonight I must sleep and remember that tomorrow offers a fresh start!

Goodnight!

Jlp

Tonight...I Count My Blessings!

Hi to all...another busy day here!

I hope you all are enjoying this Christmas season.  I hope today was filled with Hope! 

We drove home today from Baytown after a pleasant morning with family. 

Mom and I ran an errand or two...had lunch and then I picked up my Em. 

She and I got to spend some time together....squeeze in a little studying (she has finals next week) and a little shopping as well.

I try to make sure I treasure every moment she and I spend together...the "deep" conversations, the laughs, the silly moments...I pray that she sees the love of God through the love I have for her.

I love the intro that Bing Crosby recorded for White Christmas. ..written by Irving Berlin

"When I am worried and I can't sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep and I fall to sleep counting my blessings."

Those words, coupled with the music written to accompany them...always warms my heart.

Tonight. ..I count my blessings...Instead of sheep!

Christmas Hope

Happy Saturday! 

It has been a busy day...and the 30 Day Planking Challenge has begun!!! 

Day One Done!!!

Tonight we got to share some Christmas cheer with family...which was much needed and quite enjoyable!  Tonight we attended a Christmas concert at our cousins "the Andersons" church in Baytown and are hanging at the fab home for the rest of the weekend!

Have I mentioned that I love my family...well I DO! 

So...as we were enjoying the beautiful Christmas music....in Waco, TX...the New Boston Lions were making history by being the 1st team from their school history to play in a State Semi-final football game!

So....during church...I was keeping up with the game via text!  My cousin Julie kept me in the loop!  I can multi-task!!!

The Lions lost tonight...But I am so proud of my Wes and Wil Teague...proud that they were a part of a team that Overcame the loss of a teammate...to rise above and make history with him in their hearts....#6!

We learn from our losses AND our victories...this is true throughout life! We just have to be willing to be open...both our hearts and our minds!

So the primary theme of the Christmas program we attended tonight was HOPE!

The hope that the birth of Christ brought to this world. 

I need hope! It sustains this Journey!

I have people in my life that are need of hope as they struggle with loss and illness.

Even in our darkest moments...Hope is there.   At times it may feel buried in grief or sadness...but it is there.

For my friends who are facing overwhelming obstacles....my prayer for you is for Hope...the hope that comes from knowing that despite the darkness...the Light of the World is with you.

I saw, felt and heard Hope tonight...It was wonderful!

Here are a few pics!

Just a Matter of a Few Extra Minutes...That's All

Happy Friday! 

I hope you are all surviving the flu season...we are at epidemic levels at my office...3 of us have already had it and 2 more went down this week!  TAKE COVER...:)


I have decided to just share a few fun, light things....possibly completely unrelated to anything.  Some days I just need to be goofy!  Just to survive!

So..here you go...in no particular order...


For my cousin Julie:  HI!!!!

I think this is perfectly appropriate for the frequency of my posts:  LOL!!!

 

 

 

This below is so very true for me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Body has at least 60 EXTRA minutes!  Just a few extra minutes...That's ALL!!! :0

 

 



 

 

I found this next pic on Instragram...I truly say this just about everyday!!!  I thought I invented this!!! DAMN!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I could use one these tonight!  Except I prefer mine with Dos XX!  FATTENING BTW!!!

 

 

IF I ever get a tattoo...this would be it! Everlasting Faith!!!

 

 

 

 



I want one of these...The Fitbit Flex...not only does it track steps, distance, and calories burned...It also tracks sleep quality!!!  Pretty cool!!!

 

 

 

 

 

So many of you know that probably one of my biggest struggles is overcoming my own negative voice.  I truly believe that not only is this Journey about losing weight and getting physically healthy..but very much also of strengthening my confidence and learning to love myself a little better!!  So...I really liked this next thought!

 

 

 

 

\

So before I go...a bit of a serious moment.  Please, if you will, keep those that are struggling with loss, illness, and challenges of all sorts in your hearts and prayers. 

 

Please keep this Journey in your prayers as I try to fulfill the promise I have made to the person God wants me to be!

 

 

 

 









 

 



 







 

Thank YOU for Holding!

Thank you for holding...How May I Help You? 

OK...so enough of the Please Hold bit...but I did need a break. 

I, along with many others in my life, am finding myself a little bewildered at all of the sadness, illness and tragedy that many of my friends are experiencing. 

As I stated in my last "real" post.  It is overwhelming. 

So I am one of those people that when already overwhelmed...anything else extra...even the small stuff...can send me over the top and I, in response, can blow things WAY out of proportion...I, in fact, DO sweat the small stuff.

So as I have said...I have several friends who are going through some really life changing and difficult situations and it is painful to watch! Monday was a day filled with bad news followed by a rather eventful Tuesday morning...a morning filled with the small stuff...

So on Tuesday morning I am cruising (in stop and go rush hour traffic) towards town on US 290...For those of you that may not be familiar with Houston..290 (NW Freeway) is a prime example of what is wrong with Houston traffic...too many people trying to move in one direction with too few lanes to do so...AND no efficient mass transit options! 

So...I digress...I am working my way down 290 when suddenly my steering wheel feels funny...and it sounds like I am driving over broken glass...AHHH...I know this sound...I have a FLAT Tire...in Rush Hour traffic on the most the worst freeway in the city!! YIPEEEE!!!!  Oh...and it is 33 degrees outside and in HOUSTON that is damn cold!!!! 

So as not to completely milk every ounce of dramatic play out of this story...let me cut to the good part...I get out...call and try to get help from someone I know to no avail...and really don't want to pay for roadside service if I don't have to...So...I begin to try to change the tire myself...Frozen Hands....Crowbar....Jack...and Lugnuts...NOT A GOOD MIX!!!  Cars slowly driving by giving me that...it sucks to be you look...when out of the blue...My White Knight (actually a white Ford Truck)  appears on the access road...drives up on the grassy embankment where my car is and proceeds to tell me that he saw me as he was passing me on 290...He exited, u-turned under the freeway and came BACK to help me!!!  Then...less than a minute after that 2 MORE gentlemen (also in a white truck) come over to assist...They change my tire....and make sure that I am safely back on the road before leaving!!! 

That my friends is some serious Angel action!!!  Once again...the blessings outweigh the challenges!!

Oh...and there were other blessings that day too!!!  I received steady reminders that despite the heaviness I am feeling that God is right there to Lighten my load! 

So flashback to Monday evening...after posting late Monday night...I received a text from a high school/college/rest of my life friend..:) that simply said as she was praying her rosary that morning she had come across something that she thought might speak to me! 

I am posting what she sent and I do apologize for the fuzzy print.  I hope you can read these.

As I read this...I thought... perseverance is an act of Faith for me.  In order to exhibit true perseverance, I must be willing to face my fears everyday...embrace those fears with faith and keeping moving ahead.

My favorite portion of the above reading is this:

"Perseverance requires a RESOLVE to keep going, a sense of urgency about the mission and a determination to complete the job"

I must have all three of the key elements in the sentence above...RESOLVE-URGENCY-DETERMINATION...in order to complete my mission and meet my goal. 

I am struggling with all three...but I do believe that more than ever before in my 46 years...I am approaching life with more determination that I have in a long time. 

If I am being honest...it can be easy for me to lose sight of the urgency in particular..I can make excuses that this is taking longer than I expected so therefore...time goals are less meaningful..that "at least I am still trying" thought.  But the truth is...there needs to be a sense of urgency...not stress or worry...but a strong commitment to accomplishing my goal and meeting that goal. 

So as I near the end of 2013, I plan to take some time to map out my 2014...create a better plan to start the year.  Create goals for myself, position myself in life for success...With success still defined as being the most productive, healthiest, happiest, faithful person I can be! 

My Motto for 2014 is going to be:  Persevere with Resolve-Urgency and Determination-The Journey Continues

I want to push beyond my comfort zone in all areas of my Life... Keeping in my heart the knowledge that I can do ALL things Through Christ!

I still have quite a bit of weight to lose and I still have better health ahead of me.  AND...I know that while I build my physical body...I have some serious Faith Strength Training to do as well!

I am blessed to have people in my life that I think are extraordinary achievers...in different ways!  I was recently thinking about just a few of those people...thinking about what makes them special...Now, I must say, I am clear that it is a combination of several things...but the one thing that they ALL have in common...PERSEVERANCE!

So before I go...Starting a little 30 day mini goal on Saturday...30 Days of Planking...Here is what I, and some of my friends and family will be doing...JOIN IN!

The 30 Day Plank Challenge will send your core strength through the roof! Yes, all you have to do is HOLD this position, nothing else! It looks pretty easy, but it isn't!

Day 1 - 20 seconds
Day 2 - 20 seconds
Day 3 - 30 seconds
Day 4 - 30 ...seconds
Day 5 - 40 seconds
Day 6 - REST
Day 7 - 45 seconds
Day 8 - 45 seconds
Day 9 - 60 seconds
Day 10 - 60 seconds
Day 11 - 60 seconds
Day 12 - 90 seconds
Day 13 - REST
Day 14 - 90 seconds
Day 15 - 90 seconds
Day 16 - 120 seconds
Day 17 - 120 seconds
Day 18 - 150 seconds
Day 19 - REST
Day 20 - 150 seconds
Day 21 - 150 seconds
Day 22 - 180 seconds
Day 23 - 180 seconds
Day 24 - 210 seconds
Day 25 - 210 seconds
Day 26 - REST Day 27 - 240 seconds
Day 28 - 240 seconds
Day 29 - 270 seconds
Day 30 - PLANK FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE!!

Please Continue To Hold

I am gonna need one more break night...

So please continue to hold...We appreciate your patience and you are important to us. 

Our representatives are currently assisting other customers...again the next available fluffy girl will be with you on Thursday!

(Cue smooth jazz Christmas music)

Please Hold for Next Available Fluffy

Ok...I am taking a small break tonight...I am quite frankly...HOSED!

I just need to shut down...get some sleep and hit it hard tomorrow!

I will say this...Today was a day filled with some challenges...but overcome by some bigger blessings!!

So please hold for the next available representative...Your expected hold time is...
12 to 15 hours

Please do not disconnect...as this will cause further delays. 

Again...I thank you for your patience and  our next available Fluffy Girl will be with you shortly.

(CUE SMOOTH JAZZ CHRISTMAS MUSIC)

Sustenance in an Altered World

My college friend Marian posted this on her Facebook page today...and though I have made a vow to be positive on Mondays...this was just too cute not to share!  A Case of the Mondays!!!

Truthfully...it was actually nice to be back among the living today!  I am not a good sick person...despite my years of experience.  I have found over the past week that it pretty much takes a bad case of the flu...to knock me out...that...or one of my lethal migraines.  Other than that...the "new" improved me...likes to keep moving!

I originally had planned for this post to be a series of funny moments...quotes...Internet stuff that I came across on Pinterest and other places...However, admittedly, I am sad. 

Today has been a tough day for loss and bad news.  As you all know, my dear friend Donna's niece Randa continues to battle cancer and is in hospice care.  She is fighting through pain and I just continue to pray for her comfort and Peace. 

Given that I have been gone from work for 5 days...I had an enormous amount of "catching" up to do...including scads of emails.  As I was skimming through my emails this morning...trying to discern order of importance...I saw a subject line that caught my attention.  It was from a former co-worker and friend and the subject line read: Health Issue...for some reason my heart stopped...I just knew it was not good news.  He was letting several of us know that he has an inoperable brain tumor and that he would be undergoing treatment.  My heart sank and at the same time..I thought you know...If he can be brave then I can help support his bravery!!  So I sent him a message and let him know that I truly believe that Through Christ...ALL things are Possible and that he too, is an Overcomer! 

So as that information was sinking in...I read a post on FB that says one of my all-time favorite softball coaches passed away last night in a car accident.  I have talked at length in this blog about the impact of my teachers and coaches growing up...How they helped establish a foundation in my life that I still benefit from today!  This Coach...always took a positive approach...always encouraged and truly wanted us to be better and give our best effort.  In addition to his impact on my life on the softball field... off the field, he was an excellent example of kindness and of great faithfulness (along with his Wife.)  Both have a very special place in my heart. 

So as I began to write this post tonight...I realized that I wanted to acknowledge this grief and the fact that my heart breaks for my friends who are battling illness and grieving the loss of someone very special.  And though I know that it is never easy to deal with loss or illness..there is something all the more sad about experiencing that during the Christmas Season. 

But...I do think this...as it is the Christmas Season...it marks a very special, important and powerful event...It is the ultimate season of Hope and though it may be difficult to celebrate or enjoy all that comes with Christmas...For me...It is a profound reminder of what is being celebrated during this time...the Birth of Jesus Christ...The BIRTH of Hope and an amazingly impactful Act of Love.  The Birth of a Savior..and though I struggle with the strength of my faith through life's daily trials and tribulations...I am so VERY aware that even in those weak moments...I am clear that this Birth...this placement of God's own Son on this Earth...is the very reason the word Faith exists. 

For me...this is the very reason I even have the ability to manage the sadness and the grief.  So as I, in pale comparison, navigate through a challenging time...I pray that my friends have that Hope and Peace that this Birth represents...I pray that the Spirit of Christmas will help them navigate through these obstacles and I hope that each and everyone of us feels the immeasurable Power of the Miracle.

I saw this today and just felt very touched by the words...spoken by another Overcomer.  It reminded me that we all need Sustenance in an Altered World..for me...I have that through Christ.

 

 

A Good Recipe For Lemonade

So...the flu seems to be nearing the end...no fever in 36 hours...Holla!

Still feeling really tired and am having some migraine struggles.

But...quite glad this whole flu b.s. is over!

I must confess...I have spent most of this day praying my way through what I refer to as "impending doom"...

I really don't like to talk about this particular feeling often...as it profoundly difficult to explain and sounds a little crazy!  I can share with you that it is a combination of worry, fear, distrust and overwhelm and I think it might just be genetic...LOL!

I at times, can identify the root of the doom...other times...not so much.

I think that it has just been a rough week......sickness, sadness, missing so much work at year-end and a complete stall out in my efforts to meet my goal.

So the challenge this week...to seek more gratitude and a lot less attitude...to AGAIN practice doing whatever it takes to turn my life...my circumstances. ..the whatevers and the what-ifs over to the care and handling of my Saviour and do that with real honest conviction.

Because I write here every single day....it can feel like a micro-analysis of every moment of my life...it can feel awkward...exposing....whiny...embarrasing...BUT...
IT helps me...to keep my own feelings in perspective....to get "it" out there...and not leave it to fester in my mind and damage my spirit!

Clearly....it is not for everyone. ..to write or READ this every single day...and for those of you that do...let me be the first to say...God Bless You...AND I am sorry!!  :)

So...I am having a tough day...I have prayed for wisdom...for strength...for courage...I even prayed to be one of those beautiful, lovely optimists that make one helluva fine glass of lemonade out of those "lemons" life can deal out...

Truthfully...I at times, don't even wait for life to give me lemons...I grow my own freakin lemons...I even worry in my dreams...my own personal lemon tree in my head....so thus impending doom!

They say confession is good for the soul.....I do hope so...either that or it is good for a one way ticket to crazy town! Complete with lemon trees!

So...as I write this...I know that this is one of those times I need help...help keeping this rough patch in perspective....help remembering the triumphs... 

Please keep this Journey and the purpose I am to fill in your prayers!

Oh...and to all of you beautiful optimists in my life...I need a good recipe for Lemonade!

Goodnight

Making the Best of the Rest

Hello there...hope all of you are staying warm and cozy!! For my warm climate friends...it is COLD here...really cold!!

I still have not been outside since Tuesday....I am feeling a little like some kind of recluse!

Still recuprating...watching tons of football! 

Speaking of football...the New Boston, TX Football Lions...pummeled arch rival Daingerfield 41-14 to advance to the state semis!! 

My cousins Wes and Wil Teague had great games and it was Wil's turn to have a defensive touchdown this week! The Teague Men RULE!!

So proud of them both!! 

So...I continue to recuperate from this marathon flu!

Trying not to stress...worry...or wallow...Trying to focus on One Day At A Time...Remember to find the Joy in this Day...Make the Best of the chance to Rest!

Please keep my friend Donna's niece Randa in your prayers.  She continues to battle cancer and is now in hospice care. 

Please keep her, her young son and her entire support system in your prayers.

Thank you!

Comfort Food and Christmas Movies

Happy Friday...For all of you out there battling this flu crap...can somebody please tell me when IT ENDS!

Still running a fever and quite unfortunately am attempting to drown my germs in comfort food and an endless stream of Hallmark and Lifetime Channel Christmas movies. 

I have not been outside since Tuesday and the apartment is still decorated for Thanksgiving with an array of takeout food containers!

But you know...there is no crying in weight loss...actually...that is a load of crap...there is a butt load of crying in weight loss....both happy and sad...after all...they do call it weight LOSS!

AHHH...but the reward for turning in my lifetime membership to the Fluffy Girls of America club (FGA) will be worth every drop of sweat and every tear shed.

It is not easy though...kinda like checking out of the Hotel California.

So as soon as I shake this bug...I will do my best to enjoy the rest of the holidays...continue to move this body and daily take steps towards joining the "I lost 120 freakin' pounds Club"

For today...I am still FLU-ffy...but tomorrow is a new day! 

Living Love and Laughter- For Kay

So...Truth...I am beyond tired of this whole flu thing.  It has really set me back and my irrational fear of getting "stuck" in this sick cycle is back as well. 

So instead of spending several paragraphs fretting and whining...let me just say that this is definitely still a process...I am fighting the fear that says no matter what I do...I will always have to battle illness...always have to fight the weight and all that comes with it.

I am reminded to Let Go...and truly trust God. On days like today....I need help! Lots of it!

Today is a tough day for other reasons.  Four years ago...I, and my family, lost someone very dear to us... someone who battled another tough disease...a disease that took her life and left us grieving a young life.

My cousin Kay was hilarious,  smarter than she knew and beautiful inside and out. She and I laughed a lot...at both appropriate AND inappropriate times!! She was many years younger than I...but we always had a connection.

There is something that I don't think I have said here before....one of the drivers of my absolute resolve in being honest here...about my addiction....my battles and victories...is to honor Kay's battle with her addiction...a battle that she heart-breakingly lost....but that she truly wanted to conquer....I believe that. 

You see...nobody REALLY likes to talk about those things that make us imperfect...it is an uncomfortable truth.  But I am telling you...that by sharing my not so pretty truths...I have opened up my life to the impossible and though it is not as easy as pie...I have learned that it is not pie in the sky dreaming...It can and is possible.  God has provided that truth for me.

There is something else that I try to share here that is also a direct result of having to say goodbye to my Katy...LOVE AND LAUGHTER...and lots of it!

Kay and I would have had lots of laughs during this Journey of mine...I like to think she gets an advanced copy of my thoughts in Heaven...and laughs at ALL of my little attempts at humor...and laughs at my not so funny moments too...

Despite our imperfections...she and I always loved and laughed...we got through the rough times...and though I miss her....I know that my job is to share that love...to not be afraid to be human...to laugh at myself and...I will continue to share my truth and truly believe it is part of God's plan for me.

So Katy...kick up your heels...have some sweetarts and I will see you when I see you.

Still De-Fluing

The journey to de-fluff has been derailed by the Journey to de-flu.

In the words of Popeye..."I ain't no doctor but I am losing my "patients"!"

I hope you will forgive the short post!

Goodnight!

The FLU Out of the FLUffy Girl

Hello there...a bit of unsolicited advice...get a flu shot! I did not...no bueno!

So after a great weekend in New Boston...the last 2 days have been a little chaotic and will make for a great dramatic reenactment laced with humor at a later date...I am just not quite there yet!

So we are FINALLY home...My sweet Mom drove home the last 2.5 hours while I slept.  She got a late checkout at the hotel so that I could rest as long as possible...and I now...I am in my own bed...watching Christmas movies. 

I don't have much more to share! Not feeling like much of a fluff warrior today. ..but This Too Shall Pass!

Thanks to those of you that have sent get well wishes...love the sweet thoughts!

A special thanks to Brigette for always reminding me to live guilt free and to always "ride the wave" and thanks to Kerri for the below reminder!

Going to bed...trying to take the FLU out of the FLUffy Girl.

The Fluffy Girl and The Flu

Yep...that's right...THE FLU...I have the freaking FLU!

I am pretty sure I just heard a collective ughhhh...from the 50+ family members I have seen over the last 4 days!

Needless to say...I am SO SORRY!

Mom and I tried to make the 6 hour drive home...but no go...the primary highway was completely closed more than 2.5 hours from home and I kept getting worse. It took us 1hour to go 5 miles...so we are in a hotel in Nacogdoches...high fever...high whining.

To my JuJu...thanks for letting us stay an extra day...I too..Love You to The Moon and Back Again!

Goodnight friends!

Miraculously, Wonderfully, Gratefully

Hello there...I hope this Sunday evening finds you all happy and healthy at the end of this Thanksgiving Holiday weekend!

Our plan was to return to Houston today however...I have gotten sick...and was NOT up for the long drive home.  I have "the crud"...cold...complete with sore throat...swollen glands, headache...feverish...cold chills...I may be on my last leg!..LOL...ok...maybe not....but TODAY...I am feeling quite pitiful!

SO...you see...I have gloriously enough...been so much healthier over the last year...fewer infections...etc.

With the exception of migraines...I have seen SO much improvement in my health! Miraculously. ..Wonderfully....Gratefully.

After spending years trying to fight off infections. ..overloading my body with antibiotics....spending tremendous time and money. ..I will manage this little bump in the road with a grateful heart! 

So the Silver lining. ..I have a nice comfortable place to rest.  As I laid in bed today...I could hear my family laughing and talking...I got to comfortably watch the Texans ALMOST beat the Patroits. I am still...despite this small setback... on the road to a healthier life. Still Blessed!

My challenge will be allowing my body to rest and heal.  My challenge will continue to be to trust the process...Let Go And Let God. 

So prayers are appreciated that nothing derails the Fluffy Girl from the Great Quest to Bust the Fluff.

I am still here...just a little whipped today....but still here...Livin and Lovin Every Minute of IT!