Hand In Hand

So I am back in the office today...trying to push through the overwhelm and praying for all of the things I mentioned in last night's post.

God is funny...and I mean that respectfully...He has to have a sense of humor if He created me!!!  Seriously!

So one of my favorite Bible verses is Phil. 4:13

 

I bet I have quoted that scripture at least 1/2 dozen or more times in the last year...not to mention that I have a key chain with that written on it...Yet...I must admit...that I sometimes just forget. 

 

So after posting yesterday...I received the following messages from a few of my friends, family, TEAM!!!  

O.K., Ms. Jaime, you have to keep uttering, continuously, Phil. 4:13!!!

Just Remember...I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, Phil. 4:13

Through Christ...you can do anything!!! 


I just think God was like...HELLO JAIME....You know this!!!  I laughed and cried...Laughing was first...then a little tear or two over how well protected and fully loved I am!!  Even in my moments of misery!

I received several other heartfelt messages from friends who were kind enough to take the time to remind me of my Journey...remind me that this is not a Solo ACT and that I have an amazing TEAM. 

Not like I have not said it a thousand times before...but that was one of the things that inspired me about Kerri and Misty on their run for gold in London...they were clearly a team...they worked at being a team...A great team is not perfect and may not always travel a perfectly smooth path...but a great team navigates the obstacles together...Hand in Hand! 

I DO NOT KNOW HOW...but I seem to forget my team sometimes...I get lost in my stuff and forget that I do not have to do this by myself...I am hard headed that way! 

The hard part for me always...is asking for help!  I just struggle with that so much!!!  But you know,  this Journey is teaching me that accepting help does not mean I am weak...it just means that I am human! And boy am I HUMAN! WAY HUMAN!

So as I navigate these ups and downs...I am just going to keep visualizing that my hand is being held...by all of you and most importantly..by Christ who gives me Strength.

I keep this picture on my desk since I returned from California...I am posting it again as a reminder to myself of what I experienced on that day!!  ( I told you I would talk about this experience for the rest of my days)

I know that not everyday is going to feel like that day!  But what I learned and am learning about myself and others on that day will be forever cherished and will always serve as a reminder of The Possibilities of this Journey...

Thank you for holding my hand..and sometimes pulling me UP when I can't quite seem to do it myself!

So please keep me, my Mom and this Journey in your prayers...WE need them!!!

Thank you! JLP

With The Ugly Comes the Transformation

Wow...it is getting closer and closer to one full year on this Journey...and as it does...I am aware that it really does seem like yesterday that I started this Journey.  I truly can't believe it...and I certainly can't wrap my head around all of the things that have happened over that time frame. 

All I can say is Thank God...thank God that I have all of the experiences over that past year documented and permanently engraved on my heart! 

Keeping with my commitment to honesty...my commitment to accountability and to telling my real story about this Journey...The Whole Truth and Nothin But the Truth...I must admit (begrudgingly) that I am having some difficulty.

Some health challenges, some motivation challenges, some food challenges...just a whole lot of freakin' challenges...

I always surprise myself with my expectations of how things are going to go...or how they "should" go.  So...

 Truth #1...I really believed that by 11.5 months into this Journey...my food habits would be completely transformed and I would NOT be struggling much at all!

Truth #2...I really wanted to be migraine free by now...I am quite tired of pain!!!

Truth #3...I am STILL hitting walls when it comes to my motivation...

Truth #4...I AM STRESSED OUT

Truth #5...Today has felt like so many days prior to me making this decision to make some big changes in my life!!! I feel sick, tired and overwhelmed.

So as I write this...I know that there are quite a few people out there who really don't like it when I don't write in a hopeful manner...So...just to address that here...I always think that being able to tell my truth is in fact, Hopeful...Not always pretty, not always happy, not always optimistic...but ALWAYS hopeful! 

Here is why...Fester, Fester, Fester....If I stuff what I feel...disguise the truth with funny little anecdotes or wise cracks...I just fester...and I usually can only ease that pain (temporarily) with FOOD or a combo of Food and inactivity combined...If I talk about it...If I "own" what is going on...then even though uncomfortable...I am not just sitting on the issue...keeping it cooped up in an already fluffy body!!!

Today was not a good day.  I worked from home so that I could be here with Mom as she goes through some medical "stuff"...however, I had a big, ole MONSTER migraine today!!!  A real beast! 
I HATE them...they are mind numbingly painful and still typically stop me in my tracks. 

However, I did manage to work...which at least allowed me not to feel guilty for NOT working...I was not profoundly productive but...refused to completely cave to the pain. 

But as the day progressed...I just had this nagging, gnawing feeling that was so familiar...yet...I was acutely aware that I had not felt this way for a while.  I felt beaten..."whooped" and I really just wanted to eat and sleep...

After I worked all that I could manage...I crashed for while and woke up with what I call "IMPENDING DOOM"...(dramatic music in background)...

Don't Ask me why I call it Doom...I can't say...It started YEARS ago...when I was a kid.  But lately...I have Doom a lot!!! So that is one of the big faith issues I battle each day...Turning the Doom over to God and trusting that if there IS actually anything "doomish" lurking around in my life...God has got it covered!!! 

But I kinda suck at letting it go and turning it over...more truth!!!

So I knew when I sat down tonight that this was going to get a bit ugly...but with the ugly comes the transformation...I can be transformed completely...that I do believe...and it may not happen totally in 365 days...clearly it will not...Unless Chris Powell and the Extreme Weight Loss people bust down my door and work their radical magic...complete with TV editing!!! 

So here is the Hope part for me...today was not good...but I did function...AND I managed to get in a 6 mile bike ride...despite the migraine!  I needed to remind myself that I could do something that I absolutely COULD not do 1 year ago..that I HAD in fact, made some progress and am still on the road to Transformation.

I saw this quote the other day and liked it...so of course, I am sharing it here...

The greatest mistake we can make is to stay on the ground after falling.” Victor Manuel Rivera,

 
I feel fallen today...I feel tired and I feel a bit "whooped"...but the difference in me today compared to the me from last year...I will not stay on the ground...I will get back up and keep moving this fluffy body in the direction of transformation.

So you will not be surprised by my next request...I need your prayers and your support!  I have from the beginning and you have been there for me like a champ!! 

My prayer for myself will be for clarity, for a strengthened faith, for patience and for a continuation of the miracle transformation I have experienced over the past year and I pray that I stay in God's Will. 

Please keep my Mom in your prayers as well as she faces some health issues...

Lastly...I am attaching a reminder about our upcoming event.  PLEASE check out our Facebook page...Lots of really cool silent auction items...Lots of Volleyball to be played and Lots of Fun to be had...Lot of Kids to make happy and healthy!

Play It Forward-Rally To Serve

Laughing Is Good Medicine

Hi!  Well...today has been loooonnngggg!  My sweet Mama spent the day in Dr.'s offices...getting poked with needles and asked a million questions.....

My favorite question of the day...after several relatively mundane questions...the nurse looked at my Mom and said..."Do you use street drugs?"...

For some reason...an obvious reason for me...I lost it...Really!  Tone Tone and street drugs...then the next question was..."Do you exercise"...THEN, we both laughed! 
The answer to both...A resounding NO!

So...even smack dab in the middle of a not so great day...we found something to laugh at...a way to get thru...that is how we roll!

So...she will need a few weeks to get back on track with her kidney function and blood pressure! Her fundraising (pounding the pavement) activities will be greatly reduced...she however should be good to go by the event.

Please keep her in your prayers...tomorrow will be another challenging day for my street drug using, exercise addicted Mama..:))

As for me...I am taking each day one step at a time...particularly today! 

My cousin Lori sent some more funnies...laughing is good medicine!

Slow Sunday!

So...despite the knowledge that I could in fact, be busy from now until August 25th...I did not do much of anything today!! Today was a slow Sunday...a blast from the recent past.

Mom is not feeling well...It was BEYOND hot today...suffocatingly so!  I just could not make myself get in and out of the car today...I think the heat index was somewhere between 108 degrees and Hell!!!

So I probably paid for some Reliant Energy Exec's second home in Maui today!!!  I cranked the AC down....and stayed inside!!!

So as this day unfolded...I realized..I just did not have my Mojo today...Lately, I push through the lulls in energy and just try to stay focused on my goals...today..I really just did not have it in me...to keep pushing.  It is funny though...I lived like this day in and day out for years...and NOW...I can barely tolerate a day like today...I have a headache and was just generally lethargic...BUT could not just relax into the day...However, I do know that everyone needs a break from the activity...from the GO GO GO mentality.  So I thought I would say out loud here...Today was tough...but I know it was just ONE day and tomorrow is the next day in my Journey...Moving Forward...Not backward...ONWARD! 

Please keep Mom in your prayers as we go to the Kidney specialist tomorrow. She HATES to be sick...but cannot let this kidney stuff get out of control!  So...prayers are needed...I truly believe in the power of those prayers! 

Also, Please keep my Journey in your prayers...my personal progress and the efforts of  those helping me plan, organize and host the Play It Forward-Rally to Serve event.  As we get closer and closer, we still have a long way to go...So please pray that we stay in God's will and that our efforts reflect the God's chosen path!

Speaking of the event...it just around the corner...I do hope you will consider donating to our event and I really hope to see  you there!!!  Come out and play some fun, recreational volleyball...have some good food and laughs!  Great Silent Auction items and a Raffle for a Gift Card tree...that is growing all the time!!!  AUGUST 24TH...1:00 PM TO 5:00 PM

CHECK US OUT ON FACEBOOK-PLAY IT FORWARD-RALLY TO SERVE

Goodnight and God Bless to all of you!!

The Right Side of the Dirt

Good days and Bad Days...we all have them...But as my Mom says...as long as she is on the right side of the dirt...she guesses it is a good day.

Today, we are both on the right side of the dirt...but it has been a tough day.  She is having some health struggles and I am just REALLY struggling with food, overwhelm,...and..the truth is...I am just exhausted today.

BUT...I look at this way, there is something to learn always from days like today.  I had to just stop today...slow my roll...so to speak!

I got to be a "rescuer" this morning...My BFF's husband Bill...is a bike riding machine and as I have told you all before..though he is the oldest out of us...HE is by FAR the healthiest!!!  So as I was snoozing around 9:30 or so this morning...my phone rings...and it is Bill...he says that he needs to be rescued (Donna is out of town)...So...I jumped up and threw on my Super Fluffy Cape and dashed out the door..

He was 45 miles into a 55 mile bike ride and his legs were just completely cramping...REALLY...45 miles...is that all...LOL...I practically threw a ticker tape parade for myself because I rode 7 miles the other day...45 freakin miles in this oppressive Houston humidity...that screams CRAMP for me...

Now just know...he rides these kinds of distances regularly...so no big twig for him...Today was just one of those days...again we all have them...Good days and Bad days....

So once I picked him up and left...and since I still had on my Super Fluffy Cape...I TRIED to rescue a lost dog...she was frantically running around the neighborhood...I knew she was lost...but she chose to stay that way...and refused my rescue efforts!!!  She may have actually been having a Good Day that I had mistaken for a Bad Day!! :)

So...the rest of the day was filled with errands...a little necessary shopping ( I prefer the unnecessary kind)...groceries...etc...finally...I came home..Hung up my Cape....and CRASHED...

Mom continues to feel poorly and I am just going to keep fighting the food cravings (tho I did have a sugar treat today)...and hopefully just go back to sleep...

Here to being on the Right Side of the Dirt...and Here's to a better day tomorrow.

Please keep my Mom and I in your prayers...WE always need them..but REALLY need them today!

To those of you out there that have shared your own food struggles...Thanks for your honesty...It gives me courage to keep moving forward. 

Goodnight!

Getting Buy In

So I have something on my mind today...or better said...I have been particularly focused on ONE of the 10,000 things going on in my mind today! 

It is very noisy in my brain these days....but I have found that something keeps popping up for me...The passion for this Journey...all parts...the commitment to making the changes, to pursuing a different kind of life and what that takes, and the parts of me that are waking up...after what feels like a very long sleep!  A coma!! :)  The Passion for all things that lead down the path to really being  a better me...

It is not that I think that I was some kind of horrid human prior to the past 11 months...but I do know that I often felt like I had things to contribute and did not because I was just defeated by my physical limitations...and consequently by the emotional and spiritual consequences of being physically ill...literally! 

So...EVERYONE knows that we (myself and a group of my friends) are in the process of planning this charity event and quite frankly...this is something that I have NEVER done before...Planning an event of this type!  So...let's just say that my confidence issues are being tested. 

I am not all that great at NEW stuff!  I have to stick my toe in the water and test it before I dive in...timidly (at least sometimes) and then there are other instances that I just dive in...head first!!!  This Journey...this expedition I am currently taking to the whole "new" me thing...was a head first dive initially...but those of you that have been following along are well aware that there have been lots of "toe first" moments along the away!! 

This charity event...as a part of the whole journey...is a strange combination of both for me...not to mention that I am working with a group of people...who are dedicated to and motivated for different reasons than me...at least to some extent.  We share a common purpose and they are supporting me through this Journey AND have been integral in making it happen.  One of them said something to me recently about soliciting donations...etc (the money part).  How do we get buy in??? 

This question has stuck with me all week. Not everyone is going to "buy in" to my passion about this Journey and not for the Play It Forward-Rally to Serve event either.  For some...it is just a story about a middle aged woman trying to lose weight...a responsibility that I have to myself...something that people do everyday.. For others..they are going to relate to the circumstances from a personal perspective...something they have experienced or are experiencing as I take my Journey.  Others are going to appreciate my efforts and "get it" that this Journey is something that I have a passion for...a great passion for!  For me.. it is really and truly about saving a life, mine!  Literally...no drama...no exaggeration.  Truth!

I recently had one of my lifelong friends, who happens to be a nurse, tell me that until I started this Journey...that she feared that my life would be shortened...that I would die young...a life cut short.  Now...she feels like that fear has been relieved by the path that I am on...by this Journey.  I would have to agree with her. 

I would listen to my friends talking about planning for retirement...later in life stuff...I would just subtly think...oh I will not have to worry about that...like it was a given that I would not be here...

BUT....NOW...I am planning people...this event has become about the future for me...Something that I want to do each year...a way that I can GIVE back and a way that I can live as an example of the Miracles that God does everyday.  My passion for this Journey is not extraordinary...It is life!!  It is LIVING...fully, out there...open to the great and the not so great...open to learning...open to victory and victories that come from defeat.  I want my Passion for life to be written all over my face and seen in my actions.

I have shared space with people in my life that had a passion for life...people that have "stuff" just like the rest of us but have that something special that comes from great passion, strong faith, a pure heart ..that helps them conquer with Joy...despite life's pain! These people are my inspiration...I have known a few..some for a lifetime and one I just met on a hot sand dune..:) xoxo

So...the Charity event...I chose the 2 charities that are benefiting from our efforts with great intention and with purpose.  I have shared those with you all before.  This is my reality and my belief....

I am the back story to this charity event...The real story is that we live in a world where children are daily experiencing abandonment, loss, poverty, spiritual bankruptcy and are just not loved enough!!!  They have to worry about grown up problems...money, where their next meal is coming from, how rent will be paid, not having clothing...not being able to just play...carefree..learn, get enough to eat, get enough sleep.  They are labeled... learning disabled, socially dysfunctional, obese...they face challenges that I did not face...and we were not exactly wealthy!  So for me...these 2 charities represent HOPE...these organizations both fill the empty gaps in these kids' lives...they offer the opportunity for these kids to have healthy meals, play sports, paint beautiful pictures, sing their hearts out, smile, laugh and for a period of time in their day...feel valuable, smart, healthy and loved.  For me...it does not matter how they got here, why...no judgement...It does not matter that they may not look like me...that they may speak a different language.  What matters for me...is that they are children..that will one day, be adults...I have the opportunity to live a life that models for them that challenges are meant to be overcome, pain cannot kill you and that victories are meant for everyone!!  I have a chance to model for them the Love that I receive from God is transferable...It can be shared and should be...I believe in second chances...third chances...whatever it takes...These kids deserve a chance.  This is my passion...

So how do I get Buy In?

...I am really not sure...But here is where I am starting... Living my story...Sharing what I believe and practicing daily...overcoming those challenges that inhibit my path...the Path that God has chosen for me.  I know that I will not get Buy In from everyone... I will get push back from some...that is part of life.  My responsibility is my accountability to being the best I can be...Walking the Walk.

I have help...I have inspiring, faith filled, God driven people in my life, I have people in my life that challenge me to be better and truthfully, I have people in my life...who though they may not completely buy in...they too, provide inspiration for me...

In the meantime, I will keep pushing, keep believing the in greater purpose of this Journey...keep moving my feet, growing my heart and sharing my Faith...

Capture the Miracle

Hi...It IS Thursday which means that tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!! Whoop!!! Whoop!!! 

Given that I did not get home until 1:30 AM or so last night...I am ready to catch a few extra ZZZ's over the weekend (if possible). 

Last night (until the wee morning hours)...I played pick up "beach" volleyball again at Third Coast Volleyball Club in the heart of Southwest Houston!  So much fun!!!  I love it and it is a fantastic workout for the Fluffy Girl...however...we did not even start playing until after 11:00 PM last night...This girl is "feeling" the burn today! 

I even have documented evidence of my "skills"...This is me..(the short...fluffy one) going up against my Cali born co-worker Gavin!!!  Fluffy girl has some "ups"...LOL!!!!  Hilarious...but hey...at least I tried to JUMP!!!

 

 

My Co-worker Kristen was kind enough to take a few photos...before playing a game or two with us!!! 

When I got home last night, I looked like a powdered Donut!!!!  White sand EVERYWHERE!!!

So...as a result of my physical prowess and antics last night...I MAY be a little sore today...OK...I may be a lot sore!!!!

My 46 year old knee is not ALL that fond of my Jumping, diving, flopping, rolling...etc...So ICE ICE BABY...was in order for the day!!!


I have been sharing my semi weekly volleyball adventures with Kerri...including the above photo...I know..I know...you are asking yourself right now...Is she crazy or just nuts? Yes...I sent a picture of myself playing volleyball to the world's BEST Professional Beach Volleyball Player! AND I felt perfectly comfortable doing so...I want her to know who I am and know how the sport she loves is making an impact on this Journey of mine...plus..I am just a ham!!!

Again...for a slightly more serious moment...It may just be me... but the above photo...a picture of a clunky, short, fluffy girl doing her best to hoist up a couple of hundred pounds or so to hit a volleyball is one of the most amazing things I have seen...Clearly, not because of my athletic ability or great form...but again...because ONE year ago...I was completely knocked on my butt by illness and to some extent, despair, sadness, overwhelm and just plain ole...exhaustion!  I COULD NOT walk much distance...much less throw my body around a volleyball court...So for me this photo is completely AMAZING...

Here is the truth...when I first saw the pics of me playing last night...I was like...Hell NOOO...nobody is gonna see these...Because, to me...I don't look like much of an athlete...I am still obviously not in "playing form" LOL...and well...I just am not at the..."I really like the way I look in photos" place yet.

But since I have committed to this Journey...Committed to being accountable and acknowledging the realities of this Journey...I decided it was important to share this pic...Not because I am doing some promo shoot for Womens' Fitness...but because I am SHARING this miracle and this picture captures the Miracle!!!

It perfectly captures where I am...I am reaching for the top...moving my feet again...trying to lift myself out of the place I was in and reach a new level of life..A new level of accountability...It captures the miracle of HOPE...Really believing that if I just put myself out there...God will show me the way...I will not fail...but learn and grow...even in my clunky, awkward moments...even when I think I can take on a 6'2" Cali boy ( My Co-Worker Gavin in the pic above) at the net...just so you know...I GOT A PIECE OF THAT BALL!!!   I warned him that I still had some hops!!! 

So...here is to another amazing day on this Journey...

For those of you that have recently shared with me that you are starting your own Journey...It is OK to be a little freaked out...overwhelmed or just plain scared...but really..I am saying this after 11 months on this Journey...This IS something you can do...For me...It requires a Faith that I am not alone in the deal...I have the Love of God and the Love of the people in my life that provide great strength, hope and some serious inspiration!!! 

So...since the beginning this has been my MOJO...my Battle Cry....a reminder of what great strength, heart and grace look like in human form...MAWA!!!!!  :))