Soul Growing, Love Building, Weight Losing

Happy Thanksgiving EVE!!! 

I hope you are all getting ready for the TRIPLE F!! FUN...FAMILY...FOOD!

Please note that I put FOOD last in my triple F order!  That is my plan! 

I am ready for the Holiday and I am ready for some family time.  Ready for some New Boston Lions  High School football Playoffs in Longview, TX and ready to make another round through the Holidays on this Soul Growing, Love Building, Weight Losing Journey I am on!!

I hope you and your families relish every moment of tomorrow...fill it with as much Joy as you can and relax, renew and refresh!!!

I quoted this scripture today as a part of my reflection on Thanksgiving...I want to share it with all of you! I am keeping this in my heart as I continue on my Journey to learn new ways to live and highlight all of the blessings already present in my life.

"Give thanks to the Lord, For He is Good; His love endures Forever". 1 Chronicles 16:34

Wishing you a day of wonderful, enduring love!! 

Here is a little card from US...

Love and Blessings, Jaime

Making a Permanent Change

Several months ago...or actually more like a year or so ago...someone (actually several someones) told me about a documentary called Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead.  It had been recommended to me as a motivator for my own Journey...

But I just did not want to watch it!!!  I guess it was just too close to  home..in some way.  I have always been a reluctant participant in change!  At least in some change..I have to watch...think...ponder my next move and see some proven results before I take the plunge. 

So when I started this weight loss Journey...the risk for me was big...and Prancing myself into the "spotlight" (so to speak) was a risk that scared the hell of me but as you all know...I KNEW was absolutely necessary and that I too...was Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. 

So today...out of the blue...I decided to watch this documentary...It is a story about an Australian man who weighed over 300lbs...had an autoimmune disease, was taking a buttload of prescription meds just to function and felt as if each day was a struggle and that he was slowly dying. 

HMMMM....Sounds Familiar!  Except for the Australian and the Man part!  That is ME!!!!

So he began "juicing" only for 60 days...and he began to travel and film his Journey through the U.S. He talks about his struggles with food...with the mindset of being an "eater" and he tells his story through his testimony to others. 

As I was watching...He visits the Guru of Juicing Dr. Joel Fuhrman...and during the filming of his own appointment with Dr. Fuhrman...the Dr. stated this...

"You don't get permanently well unless you permanently change the way you live."


That really resonated with me...It is something that I am learning to do everyday of this Journey..and for me...It is truly a daily choice. 

You might think that it would be an easy choice...the choice to be well...and for some it is and easy choice..but for me (and many others) it is complicated...

So as I go headlong into EATING SEASON...I am again, confronted with changing my perspective.  Instead of thinking of the Holidays as a time to EAT...I will continue to focus on all the other reasons there are to celebrate this Holiday Season.

So as this Thanksgiving approaches...I will focus on the following with intention:

All those non-food things that I am Thankful for:

• My family and the time I get to spend with them...
• The Peace of Mind I have knowing that I am still on this Journey for over a year now! 
• The fact that I feel good enough to do things that I could NOT do last year
•  My friends both old and new that are providing the glue that keeps me together
• My willingness to shed my fig leaves and wear the soft clothing that God provides
• I am thankful for ALL of the single God moments that blow my mind and remind me of why this Journey is needed.
• Thankful that God continues to give me the strength I need to take on this Challenge...and take the risk of sharing it daily...Even on days when it feels like it just doesn't make a difference!! 

I have done some really different stuff this past 15 months...I have taken on some wacky physical challenges (at least in my frame of reference)...I have put my heart out there...I have shared this Journey with people out of my league and I have taken the huge risk...of walking in worlds that I would have never thought I belonged.  I am learning to redefine my identity and be willing to make a fool of myself if necessary!! With all of the risks...successful or otherwise I have learned things...things about myself and others that are invaluable. 

So...during the documentary...Joe (the Australian) is asked by a gentlemen..."So what if you do add 5 to 10 years onto your life...what are you going to do with them?  I like that question...This is my answer:

Love more! Share the Joy...Make a Difference ...Shake things up....Prove to myself that I belong wherever I am and Inspire others to do the SAME! 


Strangely...when I started this day...I was not exactly feeling it!  Not sure why...even considered taking a break from all of this honesty and exposure...but now...not so much! 

Forge On!!!! 

Phil 4:13

Here are  few little funnies and thougths for you! Thanks to Brig for making me laugh out loud today!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

Random Thoughts Part II

It is some serious cold here today...rainy......cold.....windy....colder than a well digger's ass in the Clondike!

Consequently,  I am having some unwanted, unsolicited, uninspiring, un-freakin-believable body pain!

This lovely malady that I have seems to be woefully impacted by this weather. ..and has driven me to go to bed...no gym...no passing GO...NO collecting $200... (a little Monopoly reference).

I am alright with taking a night off when I feel like this...for the most part. 

So...my brain however is still motoring along...lots on my mind...no real rhyme or reason....which could make this post a doozie.

So just a few random stories...and I will make an effort to shut down this crazy, fast talking,  life-pondering, slightly bitchy voice in my head!

So...a funny little story...Emily recently let me know that she had eaten some gluten free pretzels from Sprouts.  This is how our conversation went

EMILY:  Aunt Jaime, don't you shop at Sprouts?

ME: Yes...Why?

EMILY:  I have a friend at school who eats these pretzels that are Gluten Free and she gets them at Sprouts. I really like them!

ME: Would you like for me to get you a bag?

EMILY: YES!  But Aunt Jaime...I don't know why my friend eats gluten free pretzels. ..She is not even a Gluten!!

I love stuff like that...little funny moments wrapped up in a request for gluten free pretzels! 

Another random thought...Every Thanksgiving of my entire life (at least the best part) my Grandmother made homemade pumpkin bread the night before Thanksgiving. ..which meant that every Thanksgiving morning. ..while I was glued to the TV watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade...I had pumpkin bread for breakfast.  I MISS THAT!

Fact: I am 46 years old and have NEVER missed a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade....have even been twice to NYC to see live and in person!

FACT: I was once a clown in the Humble High School homecoming parade....complete with big red nose and big giant clown shoes!

Another fact:  I LOVE giving gifts to people....can hardly wait for Christmas!!

Another fact:  When Emily was little...She got SO excited for other people to open gifts at Christmas....even more excited than getting gifts...LOVE THAT!

Fact: I am 46 years old and not only does Santa Claus still leave me gifts...so does SANTA MOUSE...a tradition that started when I received a book (by the same name) from our neighbor Mary Ann when I was 6 or 7 years old.

One more random thought. ..despite the discomfort this cold blustery weather creates...I love it...it makes it feel like the holidays. ..my favorite time of year!

So...tonight...I stayed home with my random thoughts...tomorrow....back to the gym. ..taking the next step in God's direction...reaching for a big dream!

YOU Are the Glue

Hello and Happy Sunday Evening!

It has been a lovely, chilly day here in Houston. A fairly standard Sunday for me...church...lunch...laundry...groceries. ..workout which consisted of sprints on the rower, 20 minutes on the bike, and the step trainer and my "quiet" time.

You can imagine that somedays I sit down to write this blog and think..."how many different ways is there to discuss being fat...forty(ish) and on a mission to radically change my fluffy, sick body into a happenin' healthy body!

It is on those days that I think about how hilarious it might be just to write.... still fat....blah, blah, blah, still forty (ish)...yadi, yadi, yah and STILL on a mission...hip, hip, hoorah!

Then I think...well...that would not be upholding my commitment to post daily about this Journey.   Because no matter how mundane it may seem...the DAILY journey tells the real story.  It is a day in and day out Journey...it is not Quick and Easy...at least not for me!

But during the daily grind of taking this Journey...there are so many little moments that fit together like a puzzle...that when viewed from afar...make an amazing picture.

As Thanksgiving rolls around....I, like many of you, am thinking of all of the many blessings I have in my life.  I really do attempt to frequently acknowledge those blessings fully knowing that the blessings in my life serve as the glue that keeps all my many puzzle pieces together and ultimately,  creates a beautiful picture.

Without the blessings...the presence of love, support, honesty, prayers. ..the challenges and triumphs would not fit together....would not make sense. 

So...despite my own critical voice...I am trusting this process...trusting the intentionality of my posts, pics...even selfies...as a way to glue together this dream.  Putting myself out there daily. .."Facebooking", Tweeting, Instagramming this Journey will ultimately help me continue to create this beautiful picture that depicts the unlikely Journey...The Life of a Fluffy Girl...scratching and clawing her way to a new healthy happiness. 

My sincerest hope is that each of you continue to hang in there with me for the ride...For You Are The Glue!

Blessings to you all! Jlp

An Imperfect Day

Hi there...late night...full day.  Lots of different emotions today...

We started our day at the Celebration of Life for my friend Tina's husband Glenn.  Glenn's friends, family, co-workers all dressed in Glenn's favorite sports team jerseys, gathered at the Southwest Airlines Hanger at Hobby Airport where he worked for over 25 years.  It was a touching, warm celebration of a life well-lived.  I was proud to be there...to see what truly felt like a celebration of his life...the things, music and people he loved!

Afterwards,  Mom and I headed back home. Donna and I took a particularly chilly 1.50 mile walk before all of us headed to dinner and a movie. 

I did NOT have a great food day...instead I splurged a bit...but...back in the groove tomorrow!

You know...I just spend too much energy worrying about doing everything exactly right...it is energy that I could use elsewhere.

I, despite the sadness of seeing my friends experience such loss...am grateful for this day. Grateful for the chance to live one more imperfect day...grateful that I spent that day with people I love. Grateful for the chance to tell my friend that I love her and support her...grateful that I got to spend time with my Mom...with Donna...have a wet, cold leaf battle with Emily and a friend...grateful for a blustery winter day...grateful that I still managed to squeeze in a bit of exercise...and even grateful for my imperfect food choices.

All in all...this day made me grateful for life and ALL of its (and my) imperfections!
Have a wonderfully imperfect Sunday!

Breathe It In and Love It All Out

IT IS FRIDAY>>>> YAY....No migraine today...Double YAY....

So last night...after my chaotic day...I made the executive decision to go and workout in an attempt to "work off" the nasty migraine. 

If you had suggested to me last May that I should skip on down to the gym in order to relieve my Migraine...I would have told you to get stuffed! 

Truth is...nobody has EVER suggested that I try and work out during a migraine...It was actually my own idea.  I tried it a few months ago...after having a migraine for more than 24 hours...to just go and move my body...nothing crazy difficult but just enough exercise to get my blood flowing and honestly...a desperate effort to relieve some of the stress that comes with constant pain. 

What I found out then...was that it DID relieve the pain...It did not necessarily make the migraine disappear...but I did get some relief.  I have tried it a few additional times and though it does not always work...It has proven to be a bit of a remedy. 

 Here is what I generally have found strictly from my own experience...light weight lifting combined with a light aerobic workout seems to reduce some of the  pain...the key for me is that I cannot lift anything too heavy...nothing that puts an undue strain on my brain (so to speak).  I also find..that the recumbent bike seems to work best for me while having a migraine.  Again...a moderate pace and for as much time as my body will tolerate. 

So yesterday was not a good day...I had to push through the pain AND honestly... I let stress rule my world yesterday.  So...I headed to the gym...did a primarily upper body workout...followed by 40 minutes on the bike.  After it was all over...I actually felt better.  Not perfect...but definitely better. 

This is a big deal for me!  My chronic migraines have been so debilitating for me over the years and I  have certainly tried numerous treatments.  After having 3 Botox treatments (not the cosmetic kind)...31 shots of Botox in my head and shoulders...I have found that the number of migraines I have each month have greatly reduced AND I am better able to recognize the warning signs.  Ultimately, I would prefer not to have any further Botox treatments and finding alternative ways to manage my pain is quite appealing to me.

Though I would not be able to hop out of bed at the onset of one of my migraines and rush to the gym...I do think that once I decide that I am up for trying...it really does serve as an option for relief.

This is great news for me...I certainly welcome the idea that I can literally "work out" a migraine or at least get some relief. 

As I was reading some posts on Pinterest today...I saw the below quote and thought about what it means for me.

Here is the quote:

So yesterday I was surrounded by my imperfections...My physical imperfections and my emotional and spiritual imperfections.  As I have said before...I would love for my Journey and this blog to serve as a place where inspiration is shared...where I can somehow repay the inspiration I have received and Pay It Forward to others...AND...I am guilty of thinking that I have to do it perfectly...I am guilty of comparing my Journey to the Journey of those that have inspired me and thinking that I could NEVER provide that kind of example...that kind of inspiration! 

But here is what is so true for me about the above...I have thought that God has guided me down this path...has provided me with the opportunity to share my experiences and again...hopefully serve as an example of the miracles He performs daily. 

And if  that is true...then I must also believe that inspiration must come through my Journey through my own imperfections. 

My poor health
My obesity (still hate this word)
My Pride
My stubbornness
My Fear
My Judgements
All of it!!!

My hope is that I am doing this by....

Getting healthier
By losing weight
By practicing humility
By having an open mind
By sharing my heart
By trusting God's Plan
By Letting Go and Letting God...of ALL of IT!!!

Here is what needs to be true...The inspiration I want to share is NOT about me...but about the work God does through me!!!

Word!!!!

So how I deal with my imperfections...How I choose to live God's Plan...is where the inspiration comes from.  I gotta keep breathing...Keep loving...Keep practicing...Keep the Faith and Keep on Keepin On!

 

Not Just Wishful Thinking!

So you know how just a few days ago...I was espousing my love for change...that change can be fabulous...and how I was embracing the blessings and the joys that come with that mindset...Well...I MAY have inadvertently lied...

Today...Change is a dirty word...Like I find myself wanting to say KEEP THE CHANGE!!! 

So I am feeling a little conflicted...or maybe slightly split between the me that is embracing change...welcoming it even...open minded...open heart...and the me that is critical of change...pessimistic of its value or even scared shitless of what it may mean...

So today...I am flat out struggling...my physical pain is OFF the charts...I have now had a migraine for more than 24 straight hours...and since I have this high idea of managing this without narcotic relief...FOOD seems to be the only logical answer...EAT EAT EAT!!!!  And no...I have not fully succumbed to that temptation either...

But here is the deal...I may suck at half of what I write here...Like I have said before and NEED to say again.  I write the things I believe to be true here...The Things that I want to be true...and the things that I need NOT to be true. 

So this post...well...it may or may not make sense...it may contain more cuss words and it may be filled with all three of those things I just mentioned..My Truths...My Hopeful Truths and The "un"Truths that FEEL true!!!

You with me????

So...I wake up in the wee morning hours feeling like I have a jackhammer pounding above my right eye...I make the difficult (truly) decision to stay home from the office...when I find out that our company is possibly going through a major transition and that there is a meeting today!!!

So...I get up...full on nausea and drag my ass to the office.  Stressed before I even know what I am stressing about...Get here and have to compose myself so that I don't look completely incompetent. 

As I sit in this meeting...for several hours...I run the gamut of emotions...I pray for understanding, for calm, for patience...to not worry, and to trust...in other words...I pray to be someone completely opposite of who I am!!!...LOL!

My Mom knew before I even walked out the door that this would be a challenge for me...She sent me the following text:

"Surely am praying for your headache and for God's Blessing on your job.  At the meeting, Let them see Jesus in your face...xoxoxoxoxo"

REALLY...No pressure...She did not say let them see Kindness in your face...or Mother Theresa or Nelson Mandela...No...she said...Let them see Jesus in your face!!!  Hell...I can't even do that on my BEST day!!!  Now my Mom wrote that with the greatest of compassion for me and for those that may be subjected to my panicked overreactions...:) 

What I envision is her really thinking is...CRAP...should I call ahead and warn them...warn them that a pain possessed...hormonally fragmented 46 year old woman with more mouth than brain is hurdling their way fully loaded with fear...uncertainty...and completely med and comfort food free...

But she was smart...She challenged me to put on my Jesus face...You know when your MOM says put on your best face...You put on your best face...

Now here is what I also envision...Jesus looking down on me with great compassion and saying...well...at least you tried!!!

I can say this...though the thought of mirroring the love and kindness of Christ was a great goal to have...at NO TIME...did anyone see that in my face!!!!  However...no smoke or major flame flew from my nostrils or mouth.  I was however, fairly blunt in vocalizing my concerns. 

So I was talking to a co-worker afterwards and told him privately my concerns and also shared with him my Mom's suggestion...I am gathering by the look on his face that he too thought...Bless your heart...at least you tried!!!


Maybe trying is progress...I am not sure..Maybe these days...when I feel like my writings here are nothing more than wishful thinking...are in fact, moments of progress...TODAY...I just don't know. 

I can tell you this...My short term memory blows on days like this...ALL of the things that I genuinely believe (or at least think I do) seem to fly right out of my mind on days like today...

There is a poem (or quote) that I am sure most of you have read...I may have even quoted it here before...It has a special place in my heart and I know that I have several people in my life who may just be experiencing this kind of moment...for a myriad of reasons.  So I just felt compelled to put it down...for all to see and for me to remember....

"When you come to the end of all the light you know, and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: Either you will be given something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly." ~ Edward Teller

I will keep on working...Working to build my Faith Memory...Working truly knowing that the words I write here are ALL core truth for me and not just wishful thinking!!!  

I will continue to work on my Perspective...my Willingness to Change and I will continue to Work on portraying the Love and Kindness of Jesus!!!  It may take a while!