Beyond Skin Deep

Well...the end of 2013 is nearing an end!  What an absolutely wild ride it has been. 

So many milestones to be thankful for...so many blessings to relish. 

I have run the gamut of emotions...walked a whole lotta miles...climbed a few hills...lifted a few weights...played a little volleyball...lost some weight...gained some weight... gained some precious new friends...grown closer to the Angels in my life...and lost some as well. 

If I stop to really take inventory of everything that has happened to this Fluffy Girl in the past 12 months. ..I think my head would explode from sheer amazement and my heart would burst with gratitude.

As I recount the highlights of my Journey over the last year...I must first acknowledge that I have taken several steps off the path I have been on for the last 16+ months.  I have not stayed on the straight and narrow....BUT...I think I have learned a valuable lesson (or two) this holiday season.

It is my natural tendency to overeat or eat poorly. Truthfully. ..I am most comfortable in that skin.  But the other truth...the more significant truth for me...is that in the short time I have slipped back into some old habits...I feel terrible and I have been consistently ill with the flu or a cold since Thanksgiving.

Not to mention that mentally and emotionally...I am not as clear or strong. 

Yes...I am comfortable all snuggled up with my fluffy self...but it really is only skin deep...only surface comfort.  If I tell the truth...and God knows I try...below the surface...beyond the fluff...I get uncomfortable really quickly.
There is physical pain as well as lovely emotions like guilt, shame and regret. 

BUT....There is Good News...before this Journey started....I had no accountability. ..no frame of reference. ...no inspiration...no idea I could climb a big rock or hike a long trail.  I did not know I could climb a big ass sand dune with Inspiration holding my hand.

I did not know that I could feel like a different human...change the trajectory of my own life by truly trusting God's plan.  I did not know then that I had EVERYTHING I needed tucked neatly underneath this Fluffy surface of mine...

I did NOT KNOW THAT 16 months ago...BUT I DO NOW!

So...as I reflect on 2013...I will build on the lessons I have learned...the gifts I have received and the Love I have been shown.

I will grow my confidence,  practice living out loud...training my mind and body to fully believe that I deserve a healthy life.  I will continue to practice telling my truth...even when it sucks! 

I want this year to be a continuation of a Journey that goes well beyond Skin Deep!
Here are a few 2013 Highlights:

No Resolution...Just Re-Commitment

WOW!! It has been a great weekend of San Antonio holiday FUN!

I am home...tired...agood tired...but most undoubtedly fluffier!!

I have just a few more days till I re-dedicate myself to the purpose and original intent of this Journey. No New Year's resolutions....just a re-commitment to what I have already started.

I am READY. 

So for tonight....I need to get some rest....here are a few pics of our weekend!
I loved my time with my girls!

Angels Watching Over Me

Happy Saturday...We have had a busy, busy day here in San Antonio....

We "remembered" the Alamo....We believed it ( or not) at Ripley's Museum of Oddities...we filled our guts with tacos and tamales and we shopped til we dropped.

I am only hoping that the miles of walking somehow offset the grease and cheese.

Today I received lovely bits of inspiration from 2 special people in my life...

One from my friend Brig in the form of a Facebook post seen below.

The other came from my friend Kerri in a Twitter post.  She shared a quote from Inspirational:

"You were strong enough to get this far.  You are strong enough to keep going"...Then she simply wrote: YOU!!!!

So Precious...both of you!! THANK YOU!!!

As I sat dinner tonight with my giris at the festive Mi Tierra...I noticed this angel...literally hanging over my head! 

I loved the symbolism...Angels are ALWAYS watching over me...Thank God!

Ready to Roll

So today was a rollercoaster of a day.  I began with an early day at work...

At 11:00 AM, Randa's Memorial Service began.  It was very touching.  There were tears and laughter as the minister relayed stories told to him by those that new her best.

After the service, we all gathered at one of Randa's close friend's home...where we continued the celebration of her life!  More tears...more laughter...more rollercoaster. ..

As the afternoon arrived...it was time for Mom, Emily and I to head to San Antonio for a weekend getaway...a Christmas gift from me to them.  As I drove, they rested.  It gave me time to absorb the events of the day.

Again, I thought about how often I think of Life as a rollercoaster ride. ..the ups/downs....moving at a snail's pace....then abruptly followed by a burst of speed...an almost out of control kind of speed.

Today was a perfect example of that for me...a tough, painful moment...followed by a slow upward tick...then the burst of speed...from sadness to laughter...from sorrow to joy.

So the joy has come here in San Antonio....I am with my girls...we have laughed, looked at beautifully lit trees along the River Walk, we get to spend precious time together on the same day we said goodbye to a loved one.

Life is strange and completely beautiful.  Truthfully,  I fear the rollercoaster at times...but I do not want to get off....I want to experience all of Life as God has planned! Until the ride stops...and it is time to go Home!

For now....I am ready...seat belt buckled. ..and ready to roll. 

Sweet dreams my friends!

Looking for Some "Selfspiration"

Hello and I hope your post Christmas day was splendid.

I was back at work today....feeling a little more than sluggish and trying to get the visions of Sugar Plums out of my head...

In the next few days...I am going to recap this amazing year...highlight some of the great blessings I have received and I will be looking for inspiration within my own Journey. ..I guess you could say a little "Selfspiration"

OK...SO...I am completely off track...a slight derailment off my intended path..so my goal is to spend just a short time reviewing where I started....how far I have come...and I will detail where I hope to go!

I have gained some weight and am not feeling my best...two things I need to change. But instead of putting myself down....I will be in pursuit of ways to lift myself UP and Forge On!

Of course...I will still need the Village. 

So...I will begin the cleanse in January. ..resume my fitness schedule and I am committing to completing 2 mini-goals per month.

So Please stay tuned!

For tonight, I am asking for prayers for my friends as they say goodbye to their sweet niece, daughter, sister, cousin, granddaughter and Mother. Tomorrow is Randa's Memorial Service and all of your prayers are appreciated.  

Goodnight my friends...hug somebody...tell someone you love them...smile at a stranger...God's love grows each time we share it!

The Christmas "Gift"

First, I truly hope today was a day of wonderfully warm Christmas moments that filled each of you with Joy.

I hope that whatever you did that you felt the Miracle of the Birth of Christ.

My day was full...full of more gifts than I can say...not presents ( yes, I got those too)...No, I am talking gifts! Time with my family...laughing...playing...gifts wrapped in warm hugs, sweet words and laughter.

I heard from friends near and far...wrote the words "I love you" and received those words...I saw pictures of  happy kids.. and grown-ups too.

I got to SING Christmas songs at the top of my lungs... and even sang a few Barry Manilow tunes INCLUDING Copacabana also in loud fashion!! Quite a show!

I had the honor of watching my best friend's family gather together in the middle of a heartbreaking time...and tell great stories about their final days with Randa...they shared beautiful moments with each other with some great love and humor.  Though I know they are all hurting...the gift of family...the gift of celebrating a life...filled the room.

I got to share another Christmas with my sweet Mom...sharing gifts, laughs, music and lots of love. 

And again....though I do love me some presents....the Real gifts of this Christmas were found in the moments....of love, laughter, vulnerability and strength. The Moments that first came with the arrival of a bright star shining like no other star before or since.  The Birth of a Savior!

2 In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2 (This was the first census that took place while[a] Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 And everyone went to their own town to register.

4 So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 5 He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child.6 While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
    and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

15 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

16 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17 When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. 20 The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising Godfor all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

So...my day is done. I wish Christmas for each of you throughout the year...All the love, light and gifts you can possibly imagine!

Goodnight and Merry Christmas!

The Revealing before the Healing

Merry Christmas Eve...or morning!  It has been a wonderfully full day!

Started with some last minute present wrapping...a trip into the depths of insanity that is grocery shopping on Christmas Eve.

Mom, Emily and I attended a beautiful Christmas Eve service complete with beautiful music, a meaningful message and even a little snow...man made of course. 

Given how challenging this Christmas season has been...we opted out of cooking and had a lovely dinner out! 

Mom and I gave Emily her presents...and I gave my "girls" a weekend getaway trip to San Antonio...we leave Friday!

As great as the gifts, meal and laughs were...just being with my loved ones was gift enough.

As I listened to the sermon tonight...the minister (Kerry Shook) said something that really hit home for me. 

In my own interpretation, this is what I got:

We celebrate the birth of Christ today...the introduction of The Light Of the World.   Through that Light, God shines on those dark moments in our life...He provides us with the Light we need to see outside of those shadowy, painful moments that break our hearts and our spirits at times.

He said something that I really loved and felt like I fully identified with...He said that when God shines this Light on our lives that it can be uncomfortable....when that Light shines on the shadows...The Light can be revealing before it is healing.

WOW...this so fits for me.  The Journey is about stepping out of the darkness and into the Light. The healing only comes AFTER the revealing.

My Journey is about revealing ALL those things that keep me sick, tired and overwhelmed...and HEALING my body,  my heart and my spirit....but the revealing comes BEFORE the healing...and the healing WILL come.  Both are born out of the Birth we celebrate tonight...the birth of Jesus Christ.

I hope this Christmas we are ALL healed by the Light of the World!

Merry CHRISTMAS!!!!