I came home with a full heart...some replenished inspiration, and about a pound and a half of Pacific sand in my bag! Jeez...It looks like a put a huge scoop of sand in the bottom of my bag before I boarded the plane!! But it made me smile to know that I had carried a little bit of my experience home with me!!!
SO...I think it has been clearly established here that I am a bit cheesy...sappy...dramatic...please feel free to chime in with any other adjectives...but here is the truth...I don't mind that so much about myself...It, in some ways, is a relatively new idea for me...to allow myself to be mushy...all warm and fuzzy...or sentimental. Now I have probably always had a flair for the dramatic...but..the part of me that is willing to take the risk to "expose" myself (emotionally that is)...has not always been easy for me...
I have had to learn how to allow that to happen...so sometimes...I feel a little awkward when I share that side of myself....but I am getting more comfortable with it! Additionally, (though many of you will not believe the words that are coming out of my mouth)...I am not a true extrovert..but in fact, have a fairly well-represented introvert living in this Fluffy body of mine. Oh...the extrovert is there...and usually wins out...but intros to new situations are hard for me...and I am often a reluctant "joiner".
That fact...provided me with the opportunity to "streeeetchhh" through my shy side and join in with a group of folks I did not know! What an absolute blessing that I did and what a boost to my self confidence!
Confession...My introvert is directly connected to the part of me that is not happy with how I look or who I am...SO...the fact that I made the stretch on the fly this weekend..that I, even in my discomfort...took the risk...is a great sign!!! I did it..and yes...there were times throughout the weekend that I was mildly uncomfortable...but I think that is probably pretty normal...after all...I did not know anyone except for Kerri and though I feel like I have known her for a lifetime...in the big picture...it has been about 20 minutes!!!
So...a good sign that I am overcoming some of the internal..not so noticeable at times...battles that are a direct result of the Fluff and the stigma that comes with it!!! And what an amazing freaking blessing that I am getting to "work" through those issues with some pretty amazing people!
So...back to being sappy...So as I said...I always feel a little sad when I leave the ocean....and I must also confess that so far...both times...it has made me a bit sad to say goodbye to my friend! AND...coupled with that bit of sadness is the absolutely overwhelming feeling of gratitude..an explosive burst of energy...a renewed hope that I am SUPPOSED to be doing what I am doing and a growing confidence in the idea that I CAN and AM doing it...
I had a co-worker today say to me (I am paraphrasing)...Do you know how amazing all of this is! YES I DO!!! Unbelievably so!!! I cry thinking about it...yep...crying as we speak!!!
So....before I left Laguna Beach...one of my favorite California towns...I decided I wanted to have something I could wear everyday as a reminder of how I feel right now...Something I could wear like I wear my Faith bracelet that serves as a constant reminder to me that I have some amazing things to be grateful for and some amazing things to work towards.
So I found what I was looking for and yes...it is completely sappy and mushy...but I don't care...I love my idea!!
So as you can see...I have my faith bracelet...which I wear everyday...everywhere...and I have 2 new bracelets..First..the blue bracelet with Silver beads...The blue represents how I feel when I am at the Ocean...More Alive...Free...Lighter!! The Silver Beads represent the Blessings I have received along this Journey. The Multi-color bracelet (Purple, Black , Green)...has its own meaning as well...The Black represents the obstacles...The Green represents the Hope and the Purple represent the Love of Christ and my Strength to Overcome!
You see...I can forget...pretty quickly how my heart feels today..How energized I am..But I am wearing these bracelets as an outward reminder to MYSELF...A reminder of how AMAZING ALL of this IS...EVERY SINGLE MOMENT!!!
By the way...the bracelets were made by a company called Pura Vida (Pure Life) and a portion of the proceeds go to charity...a nice bonus!
Pura Vida...PURE LIFE...That is what I am talking about!! Living Life to the fullest...using ALL the Gifts God has given to me...praying for clarity in how those gifts can be utilized and Giving back the Love I get!!! PURA VIDA!!!
Let it Begin With Me!
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