When Doves Cry!

I love people...I love talking to people...I love relationships...and how "we" all function in those relationships...on every level.

So this last week I took a personality assessment test as a part of a work required communication style training session.  I answered 20 or 30 questions, sent those questions to be analyzed and then received a full print out explanation of my communication style as I see myself, as others see me and in stress situations.  As a way of identifying the personality type...We were given a style name and a type of bird to identify our personality characteristics...The bird options were:  An Eagle, An Owl, A Dove and A Parrot. 

Some of you may be familiar with this particular tool...The DISC Profile...it is a personality testing system that is designed to help you communicate more effectively in all aspects of your life but is often used in corporate settings.

Here are the brief descriptors:

D: Dominant, Drive
I:  Influencing, Inspiring
S: Steady, Stable
C: Correct, Compliant

So just know...we ALL have each of these characteristics...just in varying degrees...and our Bird assignment is based on our primary personality type...while our Style type is based on the combination of primarily our top 2 communication styles. 

So...how many of you know what I am? 

I am a Parrot..an "I" with a secondary "S"...so that makes me (supposedly)... A persuading, enthusiastic, entertaining, optimistic, fun loving PARROT...with a secondary good listening, oversensitive, change hating, at times, passive-aggressive, harmony needing, loyal, relationship needing, DOVE...

Seriously!!!  I answered 20 or 30 questions and this is what I got...I am Parrot with a side of Dove.  Which makes me an "Advisor"! 

Interestingly...in times of Stress...My Parrot takes a back seat to my Dove..

Now...while others of my co-workers were not so thrilled at the prospect of sitting through this 8 hours of training...I knew that I would end up of loving it!  I love crap like this...personality tests...Myers Briggs, DISC...etc...

So I (along with my co-workers) get this pretty detailed assessment of who we are (in some generalized terminology) in relationship to others...from a communication style standpoint.

Of course, I answered the questions initially...so assuming that I do not have a completely distorted view of myself...these results were pretty interesting for me...some I completely agreed with...and a few things...not so much...

Like Optimism...I don't think that anyone who spends any time with me would accuse me of being a a natural optimist...and I certainly don't consider myself an optimist!!  Now...I WANT to be an optimist and even give it my best shot some days...but truthfully...I am too much of a worry wart..to be considered an optimist...at least in my opinion.

In other ways...this 30 question test revealed some not so secret things about me...Like:

• Needs people to talk to...DUH
• Needs recognition for abilities...also a DUH
• Needs to verbalize...REALLY!!!
• Needs to Socialize
• Needs to maintain trusting Friendships

This profile says that my greatest fear is Loss of social acceptance and change (especially in relationships)...sadly...that is pretty damn true...especially the latter.

Here are some pretty funny things that it says I could do differently...also very true for me!!!

• Talk less...listen more
• set realistic deadlines
• Complete one task before starting another
• Validate their own self-worth (I know a few people who are nodding their head "YES" on this one)
• Accept that conflict can lead to better solutions

Oh...and there are others....

So...as I read through this...one thing kept coming to mind...I have literally LIVED in a pretty consistent state of change over the past 1.5 years....A changing body, a changing life...big changes at that!!  And though it may sound odd given ALL of the great things that have come from those changes...It is stressful for me...it is work...

So fast forward to RIGHT NOW...I am facing some big unexpected changes...intermingled with my continued efforts to "BE" in a state of change by continuing to lose weight and embrace my changing lifestyle...and Guess What...The Parrot has kinda flown the coop...and the less positive aspects of the Dove...the change hating, passive, oversensitive, Dove is ruling the roost!! 

I have spent the last few weeks really focusing on worrying less and praying more...talking less and listening more!  It is not easy.  I like to talk and worrying is like breathing for me! 

So...I am not sure what all of the above means...mostly, I think it just provided me with the opportunity to see how I am attacking and not attacking this Journey lately.  It provided me with a fun opportunity to see myself in a not so charged, not so introspective light...as a big, boisterous, warm, bird combo plate...who truly loves people...who truly needs people...who loves words, emotions, and that wrestles with the fear that change brings...

For those of you that read my posts...you probably see how I can be both positively and negatively impacted by change...and right now...there is not one single aspect of my life that is not in a state of change...I continue to make physical changes, behavioral changes that are impacting my life in so many different ways that I can't even begin to enumerate them here...

Some of these changes are intentional and some are the unintended product of my intentionality...and those changes...the unintentional ones...keep my feathers ruffled (totally going for every bird analogy I can muster).

Some of these changes have left me feeling isolated and without that connection to people that I truly have to have in my life...certainly an uncomfortable place for a Parrot!!  AND...I have this inner thing going on that says...KEEP GOING...PUSH through this...It will be SO worth it...That Enthusiastic Parrot who really wants to fly...is up against that protective, freaked out Dove that says...you might just lose if you keep pushing so hard...

So I am thinking I need to find a place for my Fun loving, enthusiastic parrot to grab my inner Dove and say...C'mon...it's all good....because nobody likes it When Doves Cry (intended musical reference to Prince)...:) 

So...while this great inner Bird battle rages on..so does the battle of the bulge...The Fight To Light...continues...

Much love!

Jaime