Progress... Onward

Good Monday evening...I hope this evening finds all of you feeling happy, well-loved and beyond blessed.

For those of you that follow this Journey faithfully....first, thank you and secondly, bless your sweet heart!
Lastly, you know that I am rapidly approaching the end of Year 2 of this battle against all things fluffy...or maybe better said, all things that make me fluffy!

In less than 2 weeks I will celebrate the end of another year and will dive, headlong into the next stage of this Journey in hopes of embracing ALL that God gives me and prayerfully believing that I will and already have all that I need to accomplish this goal I have set for myself. 

At the end of this year 2, I find myself about 45lbs shy of my original goal to lose 120lbs.  It isn't how I planned exactly...but then, there are very few things about this last 2 years that I "planned" or could even have imagined!

I think that in those moments that I can actually grasp the depth of the changes I have experienced in the last 2 years...I feel like I can do anything!

I am challenged and blessed by the slow but steady growth in my confidence...growing from the inside out...slowly making its way out for others to see, feel and experience... The cool part...when I actually catch a glimpse of my own confident reflection.

There are parts of this Journey that cannot be measured on a scale or by other external means. There are moments that have so much more value than a number or an inch or a size...

I don't know if I would call those moments the intangibles...more readily, those moments are invaluable. 

I find the more I believe that I can do this...the easier it becomes to believe it when others say it!

I have had some amazing support and inspiration along this Journey so far...in a variety of forms.

I have taken risks, shared my guts and my heart...A LOT!

But...I must confess...I at times, feel like I am moving at a snail's pace....so I did something today that I have rarely done on the Journey so far...I made a before and after (or so far) photo collage...

Top Left...Me and my Aunt C. 2010...I am smiling...but sick and exhausted!  
Bottom Left:  Kerri and I (the cool way God chose to inspire me) July 2013.
RIGHT: Me in Cali July 2014

Progress...Onward!!!

Dare to Be Different

Today has been about being still...literally making a concerted effort to stop and rest!

I may not be a good "rester"! Today was one of those migraine tainted days that sort of forced my resting! But...getting my mind to rest...well, that takes more than a stinkin' migraine!

So...I practiced just breathing...trusting the process and having Faith that this day is one more part of God's perfect plan!

I watched movies...slept...prayed...for serenity...for courage and for the end to this wicked headache!

Tonight...as I write this...two things are happening....One...there is NFL football on TV and Two...I have been looking at some of the messages of support I have received in the last few weeks...both make me happy...both provide some needed UMPH!

I am posting this via my phone...so I am unable to title the below...but...each of these pics, quotes came from members of my team! People who take time out of there lives to be a part of mine!

One pic below...the lone white flower pic...came from my Mom...with this message:

DARE TO BE DIFFERENT

That is what this Journey is about...Doing life differently...Living with renewed energy...learning from the setbacks vs. being defined by them.
Believing when it seems impossible...being vulnerable...being courageous...being imperfect and slowly learning that my goals might take longer to achieve but THE JOURNEY is where the Victory lies!

Just Breathe

For some reason...today has been challenging.  Maybe I am just tired...just an off day!

But I have committed to finding my UMPH in each day...

Today...I saw this posted on a friend's Instagram...

"Sometimes the best thing that you can do is not think
not wonder
not imagine
not obsess
just breathe
and have faith that everything will work out for the best."

I read it and realized that today and every day...It would be good if I could remember to JUST BREATHE! 

Breathe in and out...in with the good....out with all that makes me tired! Therein lies the UMPH!

A Damn Fine Team

It is BEYOND late...a long, productive day!
Play It Forward-Rally to Serve got a big dose of UMPH this evening...Which is GOOD!

After fighting my incessant need to worry,  having an unbelievably busy day at work and squeezing in as much event planning as possible, I am ready to crater! But as I lay here..I can't help but think about how blessed I am!

Today (technically yesterday) is my dear friend Brigette's birthday!  We have been friends a long damn time...a good long time...Actually a GREAT long time!

Tonight we celebrated her birthday, ate amazing home-cooked food, told stories...randomly sang songs we love, wore purses on our heads AND laughed our butts off...Some Serious UMPH right there! :)

In the middle of all that...We even managed to make serious progress in our event planning! 

Surrounded by her family...and my Mom...we make a great team! We have for a long time!

Great teammates are encouraging ..Great teammates lift us up and Great teammates keep us grounded...but Great Teammates that keep us laughing...they are priceless!

Happy Birthday Brig! You are beyond priceless!  We make a damn fine team!

Here are a few photos of the night and a little funny that very accurately describes an important rule in our friendship code!

Why Stop Now

OK...I will not lie....I am fried...Umph depleted for the day!

As of tomorrow....there are exactly 16 days left before Play It Forward-Rally To Serve-The Sequel! 

Again...I will not lie...I am nervous!  I am a hot mess! Worried that the event will not be successful....Worry...Worry...Worry!

But I do know this...we have some great auction items...we have a great facility....we will have some great food...ALL we need are GREAT People!

This event...its very existence...is possible because of all the great people who have supported and continue to support my personal Journey! 

This event was a complete walk in faith last year...we put in the time...used the talents we had and forged onward...I prayed ALL THE WAY!

Ultimately....having the faith...trusting our work and knowing that we must forge onward...praying all the way...is key!

I, as the ring leader (so to speak), must lead by example...Walk in Faith and Pray instead of worry! 

Always seems appropriate to use this quote when I am struggling with worry...

"Worry does not empty today of its sorrow...but empties tomorrow of its strength" ~Corrie Ten Boom

I think the unintended theme for this week is about taking risks...stepping out in faith...stepping out of those deceptively comfortable places and into places where I may not have all the answers or be at my best. Stepping into or stretching through the discomfort of one more new dimension of this Journey!

This quote seemed fitting!

Truthfully....this entire Journey has been a walk in Faith....Why Stop Now!

Onward! 

Dream BIGGER!

Last night I posted about Dreaming Big...It was an exhausted attempt to describe how important it has become for me to do things that feel uncomfortable...that stretch the limitations I put on myself. 

I have shared before that I am a funny mix...I can be really extroverted and/or really introverted depending on my comfort level.  When I stretch through that introverted part...the part that doubts how and where I fit in...that is the "jackass" part for me.  Cause truth is...when I DO stretch through those parts of my personality and make an attempt to do things differently...assert myself in uncomfortable or new situations or meet/congregate with new people...I really do feel like a bit of a jackass!  A little foolish...A little worried that I am "doing it wrong"...and really clumsy...socially and otherwise!

The irony is that when I am comfortable or begin to get a feel for how and where I do "fit in" in situations...my social skills kick in and I am HAPPY!  I LOVE those kinds of social interactions and once comfortable...will talk a blue streak...and most likely still look like a jackass...but not really care so much!  LOL!

I really don't like to feel out of control of my environment!

So here is the complicated part...or at least it feels complicated for me!

I am having to learn how to interact with all of the changes in my world, my body, my heart and my spirit! 

I was "uncomfortably" comfortable (some might say "resigned") to being sick, fat and tired! I knew it...I knew how to function in it...My "It is What It IS" mentality.

As this Journey has progressed...I am living, breathing and seeing manifestations of dreams I have had and continue to have, come to fruition....Literally happening!!!  It is exhilarating and horrifying all at the same time.

I am growing a new skin and I am not always comfortable in it! And yes...I have been doing so for the past two years...AND...I see changes everyday that I did not see the day before.  Little nuances or big smacks up side my head...that startle me and thrill me...and sometimes...scare the hell out of me!

I was sharing with a friend last night about how uncomfortable I was this past weekend asking Kerri to take time to sign silent auction items.  For me...that is already a stretch...asking for autographs or inserting myself into the path of any celebrity is just NOT ME!  Secondly, if you could see the million different directions Kerri is pulled during one of these events...and particularly this one...you would totally get it! Most importantly for me...I consider her a friend, someone that I care for and want to support in whatever way I can, so piling on by asking her to do ONE MORE THING...was actually painful for me...yes...I said painful! 

I think too...that despite the fact that I consider Kerri a friend, she is still what inspired this Journey for me and I am always in awe of that fact every time I have a chance to spend even a moment with her and the people she loves the most...her family!  It truly blows this old girl's mind. 

So this last weekend was one more big growth opportunity for me...a beautiful opportunity to feel like a "jackass" because I was breaking of all of the rules that live in my head that say..."There is no way this is your world"

Let me say this...Each time I do something that I could not "do" 2 years ago...I have to remind myself that this is NOT a dream...It is not a figment of my overactive imagination...IT is real...

I am living proof that anyone can change the trajectory of their life...It is work...It may require feeling out of place...out of sorts and overwhelmed...but here is the truth...All of those seemingly cliché quotes out there about Dreams coming true...If you can Dream it ...You can do it thoughts...they really do have meaning...It requires taking risks and in my own not so eloquent words...looking (or maybe just feeling) like a jackass...

Just so you know...I chose the word "jackass" for a reason!  Not just for color...but because I loved the way it was used in the movie Serendipity...

Here is the clip...though out of context...may not have the meaning but at the very end Jeremy Piven uses the following quote...

 

That is the kind of Jackass I am talking about!!!  I want to continue to Dream Big...and for that matter...Dream Bigger!!! 

My sweet friend and inspiration Kerri often includes those very words...Dream Big...as she autographs items...Love that!  She means it too!!! I think I will!

 Serendipity Clip

We are in Day 30 of the UMPH challenge...Let's Keep Rolling!!!

Dream BIG!

First Day back in the daily grind is tough! It is crunch time for Play It Forward-Rally to Serve and oh yea....I have this other commitment called a J-O-B! OH and another 50lbs or so to lose...

But...again my UMPH level is elevated and I am shifting gears for the climb that will end with a SUCCESSFUL Year 2!

I have kind of ALWAYS been a dreamer... some might say...an unrealistic one! But every day of this Journey is about living a dream...about being willing to be a bit of a jackass if need be and put myself out there...standing outside my comfort zone.  I spent a good portion of this last weekend standing outside my comfort zone!   It was SO worth it though...I make a good jackass!

So in keeping with the loosely developed theme above...Here is what  I think...

Dream Big! Every Day! Be a Jackass ( in a good way )!

Here is a pic sent by my cousin ...DREAM BIG!