Sunday, August 31, 2014
Did a 10 mile bike ride this morning followed by
Helping a friend move
Need to go to bed...
Struggling a bit with food today...sadly, that is a battle I still fight.
Too tired to fight anymore tonight...
Going to Bed
Boot camp at 8:30 AM...
Better post tomorrow night...
For tonight...just need to remember that there is a lesson in every challenge and a blessing in every lesson!
Tomorrow is a new day! Forging on...
Saturday, August 30, 2014
I have shared before that I at times, struggle with just "being"...relaxing...taking it easy...all of that! I think that though this probably sounds a little off...I am baffled by having energy after not having any for so long.
So baffled in fact, that I think that if I have energy that means I am supposed to be "doing something"...all the time. The contradiction for me is that I know that I times, I just need to chill...slow down and give my brain, body and spirit a rest.
So...I was not doing a good job "relaxing" at home so...I decided that an escape into a movie would be a great answer. Movies....like music...can speak to me in a completely different language. I can relax, slow down and give my spirit a break in the movies.
Unless a movie really sucks...I usually find some solace and entertainment from sitting in a dark movie theater...getting lost for a couple of hours in a story...BUT....when a movie is GREAT...the experience is sublime. Like great music, a great movie can actually transport me to a completely different place, can ease a busy mind and calm an anxious body!!!
Tonight....I saw that kind of movie.
Truth is....I could talk for hours about this movie....the acting, the story, the scenery...the FOOD (of course)...I loved every single minute.
Even more...the symbolism of the Journey in this story...the short physical distance of 100 feet and the emotional, spiritual and cultural journey that made the expanse of that 100 feet feel like a million miles.
As corny as it may sound...It made me think of how small (on some level) the distance of losing 120lbs in 12 months felt when I started...and about how today my Journey is no longer about 120lbs in 365 days...but instead, seems to have morphed into a life Journey...a Journey that still includes the shedding of those 120lbs but that encompasses so much more...
If I may continue waxing poetic here for just a moment...I think that the beauty of the Journey depicted in the movie was the fact that only 100 feet separated the characters...but the distance between them...between their hearts and their cultures appeared unending...until Love brought that distance back the to the original 100 feet where the Journey began....where it all started.
My personal Journey started as a 100 foot Journey in a sense...a journey just to the other side of 120lbs...but the expanse of my 100 feet has been huge...life changing, heart warming and earth shaking...and still in process.
The movie...well...I thought it was beautiful...poignant, thought provoking and filled with great love...
Tonight, I feel like I have traveled around the world...met some amazing, talented people, ate some great food and experienced great love...and I did not even travel 10 miles from home.
Now I must sleep! Thanks for reading...and thanks for being a part of my 100 Foot Journey.
Friday, August 29, 2014
I am feeling just a tad under the weather...so I am a little anxious about boot camp this evening! We shall see what this Fluffy Girl is made of though...cause I am going!
I had a conversation today about being ill...you know, chronically speaking! I was talking to someone about how life used to be in the not so distant past. As I was talking, I suddenly felt a huge rush of relief! It was just one of those moments when I was viscerally aware of how much life has improved for me. Even on a day when I really am not feeling too hot...I have the desire and energy to follow through with a workout!!! It feels surreal.
There have been a thousand surreal moments on this Journey...some bigger than others. But it is the little moments...those random realizations...that seem to take my breath away...or in reality...allow me to breathe easier!
As I shared a few of my experiences about living with chronic illness...I realized the magnitude of the miracle of this Journey all over again and Trust Me...it is a miracle.
I know that I say so many of the same things so often here...so many accounts of what appears to be the same observation...but for me, each time I say out loud (or in writing) how blown away I am by the Power of God's Grace and the beauty of the miracle that I get to live in daily...it becomes a little more real...a lot more exciting and fills my heart with hope for the miracles yet to come!
Thursday, August 28, 2014
I love the below thought...so very true for me.
Though I think it hugely important to have goals and reasonable expectations of completing those goals...accepting the pace, the path and acceptance of those whose paths I cross along my way...that is where happiness lives!
When I have expectations that don't line up with reality...I get myself into trouble.
I am having to learn that acceptance is not about giving in or giving up..but rather, is about letting go...trusting, believing and being patient! As I learn that...My Happiness Grows!
Goodnight my friends!
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
I tried a new machine this evening. First, just as a reminder, when I started this Journey 2 years ago, I began just walking...and swimming only to decide one fateful day to step on this evil machine call the Elliptical. Yes...in the beginning, I struggled to get in 10 minutes on that machine without feeling as if I was going to collapse...but over time and after several major battles, I conquered the Evil Elliptical!!!!
Tonight however, I met my new arch nemesis...
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
So...post Day One of boot camp and I am still moving...even made it to the gym for a little cardio!
My goal is to keep moving so that my body does not have time to realize that it is being stretched outside its comfort zone! :)
It felt like a little victory though....being able to survive Day 1 and make it to the gym tonite! Another step in a healthy direction! No giant leap for Mankind...but a solid step along my Journey to De-Fluff!
Now...in an effort to be prepared for Boot Camp Day 2...I must rest...renew and replenish!
My prayer every night is to be in God's Will....trust in His plans and have the faith and courage I need to Forge ahead.
There are days when this task feels a little daunting. But I am surrounded by reminders of how blessed I am to be on this Journey...reminders of ALL the ways God lights my path...Even on days when I struggle.
One of the biggest challenges I have faced and still face is truly and deeply BELIEVING that I CAN.
This blog has been my practice ground in many ways. The place where I write my truth...and the place I write truths that I am yet to believe!
I received the below from my cousin Julie today...loved it!
I am learning to trust my wings...every day!
Monday, August 25, 2014
So bootcamp started TODAY!
4 weeks....12 sessions...here we GO!
Today..according to our trainer Kevin, was nothing too strenuous...just an opportunity to see where we each are physically. I know where I am...mid forties...50+lbs overweight with joints that reflect both my age and weight!
Four women...gratefully...all with a sense of humor...started this process today!
Good news...I enjoyed it...I survived it...i laughed through it...and did not puke! So I got that goin' for me!
I, for the 1st time, got to do the "battle ropes" exercise...you know the one where you pick up a big ass rope and shake it up and down...Well, for some reason I was all primed and ready to try that out...3 sets at 30 second intervals left me with linguine arms and sucking wind!!! Holy Toledo!!!
But...I did it! I thought my lungs would explode...but I did it!
I am going to go out a limb here and say that each day will be a little tougher...and there may be puking involved!!! ;)
But...I have got a Mountain to climb...so I will keep suiting up and showing up!!!
It feels good to push through burning lungs and linguine arms...to forge on knowing that I am working towards bigger goals and pushing past physical barriers that at one time, felt impenetrable!
As you many of you may know, for this ENTIRE Journey, my Mom has posted signs of encouragement on the door leading from the garage to the house. She changes them periodically...usually goal specific.
Below is my newest sign!
Look out Now!!!