Wednesday, November 19, 2014

"De-Feeted" But Not Defeated!

Yes....THIS happened!! After 2 yrs and 2 months my body has waged a significant protest!

I am bummed...but, not defeated...more like temporarily "de-feeted"...right foot out of commission... lost to a stress fracture for the next 3 to 5 weeks!

Get to wear this Herman Munster styled footwear as a perk!

Doc says that I can still work upper body though...thinks I will be able to train for MS 150....just not as soon as I had hoped!
Still Forging On...Thanks for your prayers!

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Practicing My Victory Dance-Mid Battle

Often...too often...I, when thrust into the middle of a stressful time,  turn to food as a comfort.
Even still.
Or at the very minimum, I want to turn to food as a means of hiding from those times that feel too big for me to handle.
Not easy words to write...harder still, to live with!

But...that is my battle to win...not to lose! 

I am struggling...

One thing I know about this Journey is that there will be battles...

One thing I have learned during this Journey....those battles can be won.

My goal...to keep the battles in perspective...to prayerfully move forward...asking all the way that I have the ability to discern the mountains from the molehills. Trusting my experience, my strength and my hope...having an unshakable faith...believing that with every battle comes a victory....and subsequently, a Victory Dance!

If you have a spare prayer...I could use an extra. It it appears that I have my first (more than bothersome) injury to contend with on this Journey and will be visiting a sports medicine orthapedist in the A.M.

Bummed yet determined that this will not deter my slow train to the MS 150 (or 180 if the truth be told).

In the meantime...I will continue to fight the fluff...wage war against old habits, work to strengthen my whole body...mind and spirit included AND continue to practice my Victory Dance...its gonna be kick ass...just wait and see!

Posted the below on Instagram/FB earlier...words to live by! Seeking God Daily! 

Lastly,  I have several people in my life who are experiencing great loss, health challenges and much greater obstacles than I...my heart and my prayers are with them while they bravely fight their own big battles.

God Bless!

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Not Fair

When my niece Emily was much younger she went through a phase of saying..."That's Not Fair"...in context to almost ANY situation....It kinda drove me crazy and at times...she wasn't exactly wrong...

Though I did tire very quickly of that "phase"...there were moments when it made perfect sense that she felt that way!

Today felt like a "That's not Fair" day...My professional life is a hot mess...I have seen friends lose their jobs as of late...seen a company that I have worked for close to 5 years slowly dissolve and I feel tremendous pressure to prepare for what feels like the inevitable...a job change/loss.
It doesn't feel fair and it certainly feels poorly timed.

However...in the middle of my mess...in the middle of my "that's not fair" day...this Journey continues.

It occurred to me tonight...after enduring this whole Not Fair day...that this Journey has been and continues to be about radical change...miraculous, uncomfortable, challenging, painful, glorious  change that has lead me down a path I could have never imagined possible. 

It occurred to me that as frightening as this change may feel right now...God still is driving the bus and I still have places to go...people to see and things to do.

I can't lose sight...and definitely can't lose Faith! I can't give up on the dreams I have or the plan God has made! 

It Would Not Be Fair!

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Any Day On This Journey is Good

Despite a recent bout with middle agedness...I continue to think that I must forge on...fight for the next step and breathe in the belief that I am capable...of anything and everything.

Some days are better than others...

In my battle with fatigue, creaking bones, aching muscles and stubborn fluff...I find that I have to rely on pure unadulterated will...and the faith that supports that stubborn will.

Some days are better than others.

Last night during my boot camp time...I struggled mightily!  In my opinion,  ridiculously so...stopping mid set...light headed from my efforts...feeling SO discouraged...feeling every minute of my 47 years on this planet.

But...I managed to finish...albeit with more of a limp than a glide...but I got through...managed to move this body in a forward direction...managed to trust this process and am truly,  genuinely working on remembering that though some days are, in fact, better than others...Any day on this Journey is good!

Monday, November 10, 2014

The Fat Season Blues

I have recently heard this time of year described as "Fat Season".  The 1st time I saw it...I truly l laughed out loud....an honest to goodness LOL!

That laugh was closely followed by this thought...Hell...I LIVE in Fat Season...Every Day!!! Is there a Thin Season? Or even a Well-Proportioned Season??

As I enter this time of year...I struggle like many...with all of the temptation this season brings and if I am not careful, I enter Fatter Season crooning the Fat Season Blues! 

This Journey is a little tougher right now than preferred...I "feel" like I am working my ass off...without results!

I have hit the weight loss wall hard...and genuinely don't seem to know how to get around it...through it or over it!

However,  despite feeling some embarrassment at this fact...I STILL believe that this is God's plan for me...just not seeing that plan too clearly today!

Just one of those roadblocks that feels bigger than it is...too big to maneuver gracefully, today!

So...I tell the truth here in hopes that by doing so, I can keep my focus, acknowledge the uncomfortable parts of this Journey, trust blindly in God's plan, count my blessings and just keep going!

My friend Brigette sent me this today...Perfectly timed! So very true in So many ways!

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff...or Even The Big Stuff

I suck at managing stress...and that stresses me out!

So part of this Journey...a part I was generally unprepared for...is the stark reality that I wear stress like a second skin and I have a very difficult time shedding that skin!

They say (whoever "they" are) that "stress kills"...Who am I to argue?? It certainly feels like it kills...and it certainly sucks the energy out of this girl.

As part of my daily fight to light...reducing stress has been a central theme in the battle.  I have to practice reducing stress daily...it requires a very focused approach and at times, the practice pays off and I see the benefits of that practice...and then there are those times when I fall into old habits and behavior patterns that just kick my butt!

Sadly...I at times, don't even recognize some of the warning signs until I am wound tighter than an 8 day clock,  brain in overdrive and the telltale sign of physical exhaustion complete with a funky heart rhythm that is quite disconcerting! Yes...I have had the whole heart thing checked out...answer...stress/exhaustion triggers nutty heartbeat!

SO...I continue to make attempts to combat the stress...focus on the blessings....breathe through the worry...move the body...seek solutions and be willing to be willing...regardless of outcome. PRACTICE....PRACTICE....PRACTICE!

A wrinkle to the stress I experience on this Journey is the idea that I cannot stop...no rest for the wicked kind of mentality.  That I must physically and mentally keep pushing through the fatigue...keep moving at all costs or I will somehow not succeed.

So that brings me here...I am tired...heart tired and I must move out of the stress and into a solution.

So here is my own, off the cuff...5 step solution.

1st step...confession....here...now...own this imperfection and move on to step 2.

2nd step...Stop...take deep breaths...slow down long enough to catch my breath...

3rd step...embrace the pace of this Journey with intention..or at the very minimum....be willing to embrace it with intention.

4th step...less me...more God...remember that prayer overpowers the problem and empowers the body.

5th step...rinse and repeat as often as necessary! 

One big piece of the stress puzzle...stop taking myself so seriously...stress less...laugh more and don't sweat the small stuff...or even the big stuff, for that matter!

Here are a couple little thoughts on Stress that I thought were worth sharing.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Beyond Measure

It has been a busy, fun weekend spent with people I love...people that always leave me with a full heart...people who, in their own unique way, challenge me, support me, lift me up...and even bring me back down to earth...when necessary.

Though they (and you) may not know it...each  provides some inspiration,  encouragement,  strength, hope and wisdom that keeps me on this path.

Each serve as a conduit to God's voice...all I have to do is listen...or at least be willing to listen.

God knows how I hear...how I can be reached and what it takes to touch my heart.

I am grateful for that. Beyond Measure!

So...holding to the truth that is key in my future success.  I again, am sharing here that I am feeling a little weary of this Journey....my body is a little banged up and bruised and so is my spirit.

And yet...I still know...through God's voice...through His grace and his blessings that this Journey is still a GO...still essential....still neccesary and still a miracle.

Your continued prayers are invaluable! 

I will keep moving forward...not focusing on my mistakes and stumbles...but rather on the blessings that I receive daily...I know I can do it...because I have...because I am...because He is with me.

For that, I am grateful,  Beyond Measure.