Monday, September 30, 2013

Being Blindly Faithful

"They say it's impossible.
I refuse to believe it. 
The journey may be difficult and the desired end unlikely. My patience and commitment may be tested by something that won't happen overnight. It may be that I veer off the path or quit before reaching my goal, but that doesn't mean it is impossible.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich

I saw this quote today...Something about it resonated with me. 

My current physical difficulty is grating on my inspiration....gnawing at my fortitude and getting on my last nerve!

Having said that.. It does not mean that achieving my goal is impossible or even improbable. It just means that it may be delayed...But the end goal..the losing of the equivalent of a super model...MAY not be the whole point this Journey.

Instead,  the obstacles conquered, the moments of unexpected will power and courage...immeasurable love and the gift of God's Grace...these things are clearly the lessons of the Journey worth remembering!

AND... I am determined to lose 120 lbs...or at least get damn close! I just feel like I have veered off the path a bit!

So I must, if I cannot see the end, be willing to be blindly faithful!

I must practice Letting Go of the final outcome and embracing the silver linings-even if they appear a bit tarnished at times...I must learn to accept my imperfections...I must remember that Rome was NOT built in a day...Truthfully, I did not get fat overnight...This Fluff took years to build! Tearing it down will take some time!

"When I am struggling with my life I look up towards the sky and say; LORD you take over” ― Joan Disantis

Sunday, September 29, 2013

A Battle Buffered by Blessings

Hi there...Happy Sunday to my peeps...Hope u are all well and have had a lovely, refreshing Sunday!

So...September is almost done...Wow...seems like it just started!  My...How time flies when your trying to lose weight!

So...I am still stalled...but literally am trying to take this lull in stride....working HARD to not over analyze...which is virtually impossible for me!  But...I keep practicing!

I have a 5K in a month and would like to be able to run a portion of it...and if I am going to do that...I probably need to train a!

I am not 100%. But...was not even 50% when I started this Journey. And...I started!
So I am not waiting until I am 100%...I can't!  I have to fight through the roadblocks. ..sitting and waiting is not the answer for me today...I have had a rest and now I must GO!

This is a battle...a battle buffered by Blessings...and I must trust the full armor of God will protect me during my vulnerable moments!

So I know that I must walk before I run...I must trust before I conquer and I must believe before I know!

Year 2 is a bit of a biatch! But I have come this far...No turning back now!

I need your help! Have from the beginning! Still Do!

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Resting, Trusting, Healing and Hoping

Hello there...I truly almost forgot to post tonight...It has been a bit  of lazy day...trying my best to just BE...Not stress...or worry...practicing trusting this Journey as it  is...

I have given myself some time off from much physical activity...I just have not felt physically strong for the last couple of weeks...But...I miss my workouts and know that they relieve stress...give me confidence and strengthen my body and my will!! 

My friend Brigette reminded me today...that sometimes we just need a break.  I went from very limited physical activity to working out 4 to 5 days a week for an entire year...with limited rest time.

So...I am resting, trusting, healing and hoping that this is the best next move for me...until the next best move comes along!

For today...I am just breathing...praying and looking forward to the future of this Journey.

I saw this quote on the back of the Atascocita High School Band t-shirt...I will leave you with this:

"Quality begins on the inside and works its way out"

I am hoping that the quality I am working on building inside my life...truly reaches the surface and makes its way into the world! 

Goodnight....Sweet Dreams and may your Sunday be fully blessed!

Friday, September 27, 2013

You Think You're Funny...But You Are Not!!!

Good Late Friday Evening....

So I had a very sobering experience this evening...It appears...after years of being told that I am funny..that it has all been a LIE....

You see...tonight...I coached my volleyball team....The Spikers..consisting of 10....Eleven and Twelve year old girls...Tonight we were walloped by the opposing group of 10-12 year olds...From the get girls were a little flat...a little low they were attending the wake of one of the members of One Direction...So...In an effort to "lift" their spirits...I decided that Humor would be the perfect coaching tool to get them "fired" up..

You know...a couple of cute quips...age appropriate of course...just to get their little mojos workin...Then it happened...the sobering moment....not even one single laugh...not even a hint of a smile on any of the little faces looking back at me...Instead....I received this look:


Crap!!!  Now what?  My humor is my GO Ace in the Hole...My Wild Card...My Lucky Penny...

NOW...All I had was a group of pre teen girls who just voted me off the island! 

So...we lost BIG girls looked like they just lost their best friend..and I left with a severely bruised ego and the realization that I am not nearly as funny as I thought I was...Good Times...Good Times....:)

So I took it on the I am nursing my bruised ego by trying to be funny here...a place where I can crack jokes and never even know if anyone laughed but truly live in the delusion that ALL of you laughed...and laughed hard!!!!

So after a night of only 2.5 hours sleep...a long work day..a 1.5 hour commute home...and facing the pint sized humor critics... I decided the only sensible thing was to distance myself from all pre-pubescent prejudice and rejoin my world of middle aged hormonal flashes...and laughing as a means of holding on to our last shred of sanity!!! 

So....I stepped back into my comfort zone...had dinner with Donna....laughed a bit....Met my friend Camille....laughed a little more... and left with a renewed since of hope...and this mantra coursing through my brain!

Gosh Darnit...I AM Funny and People Like Me...Not all people...but SOME people...just not 10 year old volleyball players...But most EVERYONE else thinks I am still funny....

Congrats to my favorite Olympian Kerri Lee Walsh Jennings and her partner April Ross on winning their first 2 matches today at AVP-Santa Barbara and Congrats to the New Boston High School Football Lions...UNDEFEATED...and to the MEN...Wes and Wilson!!!

Thursday, September 26, 2013

The Reality Roses

A busy day...Easy to forget to stop and smell the Roses...Sometimes...I forget to even "see" the roses...

With the sluggish start to year two...I have not really stopped to smell the roses of Year 1 lately. 

A friend (who also blogs) used his blog as a place to work through some less than stellar times and I am sure, knowing him, shared a few victories along the way.  So a few weeks ago..he gave me a piece of advice.  He encouraged me to go back and read some of my own blog short, so that I could "see" how far I have come...the challenges I have already overcome and the moments when I did not think I could and I DID!!!  Kinda my own "stopping to smell the roses" my little blog world.
So... back to the sluggish start to Year 2...I am going to take a few through some of this past year...make every effort to stop...Stop worrying...Stop thinking that I have somehow lost my "weight loss" edge...Stop trying to figure out how I am going to lose the rest of this long that will take etc...

It is not like I have been short on many people are sticking tough with me...and I think that I have to stop dwelling on the negatives...take stock of the positives and move forward...I keep saying it...Forge On...I figure I will keep saying it until I get it. 

As I have said over and over again...this PLACE...this my place to say things I believe to be true...Say things that I want to learn how to make true and to sort through some of the false truths that I cannot seem to just Let Go of... of my less attractive traits...focusing on the negative...Confession...I can remember almost every negative word someone says to me...but really have to focus to remember the positive.  Sad.  I really don't like to admit that...

That is why I am so focused on repeating the blessings...repeating the good things that happen.  It is time..time to believe the good...drop the bad...

I know that most people have that critical voice inside...Some people can just Shout that voice away...Trust the positive voice...Trust God's voice ...I need practice.  I am practicing every day of this Journey.

So I figure...stopping to Smell the Roses...The Reality a good idea...The reality is...I continue to be on a different energy generating path...a weight loss path...a path to health that I have not seen in way too many years...

I am learning to live the positive and negate the negative...AND lose 120 pounds along the way...No biggie!!!

So in an effort to shed my Fig Leaves...Trying on my new soft skin...and trying to just RELAX...and enjoy the is a little funny...

Wednesday, September 25, 2013


Well...I went to work today...still battling the bug...AND...I am unwilling to get in that rut...that sick rut.

So I am feeling a bit better...just exhausted.  For my "overreactive" immune system...the battle continues! 

For me...the whole me...I will have to compromise with my wacky immune system. .but I need to move the healthiest pace possible. 

So...that healthy pace HAS to include my diligence in resisting food I have said over and over again. ..when the going gets tough...the Fluffy starts eating...BUT...for the last year...I have worked really hard to get tough and beat the Fluff!

It seems that when I am at my weakest...the temptations rear their ugly heads more frequently!  I am sure that is true for was my challenge for today! See pic below! But I resisted! Thank you Very Much! 

So tonight...I am resting...focusing on the notion that This Too Shall Pass and "Refusing Not To Move"

Again...I Can Do ALL Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me!

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Germ Warfare

So...the great germ war rages on! it not so great...but I have to try add a little humor to an otherwise yucky situation!

There is a good chance that I am going to have to be surgically removed from this couch! Either that or I will just become one with the couch...a couch with boobs!

So I am still battling the bug.  Still praying it away...praying that this temporary setback stays temporary!

Trusting that this time is necessary and valuable!

This time is just another opportunity to learn, to overcome and to prove to myself that I have courage beyond my understanding!

Please keep this Journey in your prayers!

Monday, September 23, 2013

Pray it Up...Pray it Away...Pray it Onward!!!

Hi there...OK...So I am looking for some serious prayer warriors out there!

My less than stellar immune system is not playing nice and I am again..running a fever and struggling with some virus type symptoms.  Unfortunately, this is not new...and I have been down this road many times before...

BUT...Given that I am wearing a New Skin these in my Fig Leaf...I REFUSE to  lose this little battle.

I REFUSE to let this keep me from moving forward on my path! 

So here is what I know...Prayers work...for all size problems..big, little, and all sizes in between! 

So Lets Pray It Up!!!  Pray it Away...Pray it Onward!!!

Tonight..I am getting some more rest...Trusting that tomorrow is a new day with a Fresh New Skin!!!!

Hugs to all!!!

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Losing my Fig Leaf!

Happy Sunday to all!! 

I hope you all have a day filled with immense blessings...loads of love and for those of you here in the Houston, I hope you have enjoyed our little dose of Fall weather!  Glorious!

So...I went to hear my friend Carrie preach this morning...Carrie and I went to high school together...went to College at nearby schools...and over the years have seen each other from time to time...We  have great friends in common and she has always been someone I have enjoyed spending time with! 

She has not always been a minister...As a matter of fact..she is a fairly recent ( in the last couple of years) graduate of Southern Methodist University and has been at her current church for about a year!

So I have had the opportunity to see her a little more frequently lately and I asked her about her church...etc...and she mentioned that she would be preaching today!!!  So...I made a mental note..and Mom and I went to hear her sermon this morning!!! 

First...just know that Carrie is an Overcomer!  She is a Mom, wife and a Cancer SURVIVOR!!! 

So...I am not going to attempt to reiterate her excellent sermon here...but I am going to share with you how it hit home for me!  Her sermon today was about Adam and Eve...and the choices they made...the blame, the guilt, the shame...and the consequences.

So I am going to assume that most of you guys know Adam and Eve...know that God created Adam...gave him ONE command...don't eat or touch fruit from a particular tree in the center of the garden...God then gave Adam...a woman...made out of Adam's own flesh...She too was given the same instruction...and then there was a we  know Eve was manipulated by the Serpent...Then Adam and Eve both partook of the forbidden fruit...Lived to tell about it...BUT...were immediately filled with tremendous guilt and shame...They made loin cloths of Fig Leaves to hide the shame they felt by being naked...

Now this is where Carrie's sermon took on a personal meaning for me..She told a story of loving to climb the fig tree in her Dad's backyard...She talked about how much she loved the "fort" type feeling the canopy of the fig tree provided...that it was a great place to play...but...she mentioned how the Fig Leaf is not the most supple leaf out there...that it in fact, is a rough, course leaf...that would not be ideal for covering the regions of the body a loin cloth is designed for...just sayin'!

So Carrie goes on to discuss that God discovers what has happened...hands down the consequences to Adam, Eve and the Serpent AND after Adam and Eve's pronouncements of blame, guilt and shame...He then did something that is the one thing that I think is understated in this story of our Creation...God, once the consequences were named...He made clothing...soft, comfortable clothing and gave it to Adam and Eve.  No more uncomfortable fig leaf...but instead a soft, new animal skin outfit!! He lovingly made, comfortable clothes for them...He had moved on...Forgiven them and wanted them to live ABUNDANTLY!

Now the entire sermon, Carrie very wisely applied how we, today, often cloth ourselves in fig leaves (figuratively, of course)...a rough garment of guilt and shame...that we hide behind.  We hide from others...thinking that we will be judged, condemned...or not fit in because of our past transgressions...

I have an entire wardrobe of fig leaves...I have never met a more critical voice than the one that lives in my own head and sounds remarkably a lot like me...because it is  me..

I often forget the Promise we have from God that we will NOT be condemned for our earthly mistakes but instead:

John 3:17

For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

Forgive  my own translation...but God sent his Son to this that I did not have to wear scratchy, uncomfortable fig that I did not have to live in guilt, shame or hide behind the discomfort of my past mistakes...but instead...God sent His only Son so that I may wear the "Soft New Skin" He made for me and be comforted by the Love and Forgiveness that "new skin"...that New Hope provides...

Here is the cool part...that comfy "new skin" available to anyone who chooses to embrace it...wear it and Live in the eternal hope that it provides! me...Carrie made many additional great points and artfully tied  in multiple scriptures that I did not even touch here...But the above spoke to me and particularly to the part of me that tosses on a Fig Leaf and traipses headlong into this Journey I am on...without even once stopping to consider that I have choices on how I "dress" along this Journey.

As I work hard to shed this body of Fig Leaves...ALL the emotional, physical, spiritual battles that I am undertaking in hopes of fully embracing a slimmer, healthy NEW that is completely sewn by God's Hand and is a symbol of great Love and Forgiveness!!! 

I hope this week you are comfortably dressed in God's Love...and that you shed your Fig Leaves...!

 So Carrie thank you for your sermon...A Soft New Skin....Thank you for your honesty and forgive my inadequate description of your lovely words!



Saturday, September 21, 2013

Future Mayor of Loserville! gotta love honesty!!!  OK...So I promised my friend Lindsey that I would get back on track and post my weight...My weight has been yo-yoing for the past several weeks.

At the time of the event...I had lost 65lbs....I weighed at the end of August and had GAINED 5lbs...NOW..It appears that I am in a GAINING Cycle!!  So...just another ride on the roller coaster of weight loss.. 

I have not weighed until today...and now I know why!!!  I have gained 7 freakin lbs in August/ Sept...BUT instead of spending the next 500 words lamenting about the weight gain...I am just going to say one of my all time favorite phrases...


Lamenting, whining, feeling lousy about myself will get me no where...So...I am just going to assume that this gain...will later be my loss!!! Onward and Upward!!! 

As my friend Lindsey said to me on Friday...Is it time to get back in the Saddle...

So Giddy UP...Fluffy....Let's roll!

As I continue to recover from the bug I had last week...I am STILL struggling with no energy!!  But...I am choosing to trust that there is a reason for that and that the rest I am getting now will get me through the next part of this Journey!!!

As weird as this may sound...I want to be a LOSER!!!  No commentary needed...:)

So...I am getting back in the saddle and making the trip to Loserville...where I will someday be the Mayor!!! 

I am going to "consult" with a few of my mini-goal advisers and come up with something for next month AND...I will be doing the Firefly Run...YEAR November...It was my first 5K and I am going to make an effort to at least run a portion of the 3.2 miles!!! 

So....if any of you have any mini-goal ideas for me...Fire away...I am always open for suggestions!!!

Have a blessed Sunday!!!! 

I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me Strength!!!

Friday, September 20, 2013


Success is tied to action. Successful people keep moving and trying. They make mistakes, but they do not quit.

I saw this today on Twitter...the bastion of great wisdom in 140 characters or less...I saw it and it resonated in my mind!  Especially the not quitting part! 

I am back at work today...after 3 days of being down for the count!  Or at least feeling like I was down for the count! 

Since I love a good sports analogy...I thought I would go with that...being ill...I am not talking about a cold or the flu...but long term like a 15 round boxing match...and in my the  heavyweight division! 

Battling a disease requires a lot...a lot of grit...obviously..some illnesses have different consequences than others and long term illness is mostly just exhausting...overwhelming and at times painful! However...  I have, by the Grace of God, been able to develop some decent coping skills over the years!  
So you can imagine that the relief that I have had over the past year...has been like winning the heavyweight championship! 

The key to winning that that relief, is not quitting...well...starting something new and then not quitting!!  

I had started a "diet" many times over the past 20+ years...I am a bit of a big dreamer..that has at times struggled with following through on those dreams!  So...this past year has been a dream come true!  

But that dream has come with hard work, some serious courage, even more support, and perseverance.  I have to regularly let go of fear and hold on to Faith! 

But...for those of that have been following along, you know better than anyone that this Journey has not been mistake free . Fear free...struggle free...etc! But it has been action packed.  

I have to stay in action.   Stay Active!  Inaction leads to quitting for me.   And quitting is NOT an option.


I may be in a funk today...but I will move forward! 

My friend Lindsey reminded me today that this is an "honest blog".  She mentioned that I had not been posting my weigh ins...I told her that I gained weight in August and had not 3 weeks!

So...I will post my weight tomorrow.  Honestly!

Before I Volleyball team...the mighty Spikers...won their 1st game tonight! Out of my 10 girls...only 2 have ever played before! So this was a BIG deal! Very proud of my Overcomers!

Thursday, September 19, 2013


After feeling really lousy for the past 4 days...I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel!

I have been so much healthier over the past year... that feeling sick...especially the pain of a migraine for consecutive suffocating for me! So I panicked! I am afraid of getting stuck!
I get into overreaction....anxiety...etc...and that just feeds the panic...and I naturally want to school slip into bad habits!

Funny though...those bad habits make me feel worse.. physically and emotionally!

So I really have tried to stay focused on my recent healthy experience. ..breathe and trust that this too shall pass...of course...I am surrounded by some great support!
A special thanks to Brigette and Kerri for the sweet words of wisdom...for the needed dose of reality...that, in reality, I am not traveling backwards but am in fact, still on the same Journey!  MOVING FORWARD!
You both have an uncanny way of saying things I a way that still impacts me...opens my heart and my mind!  Plus you both make me smile! Even when I feel crappy!
So I am working on just "being"...not stressing, panicking...etc!

I am going to ease back in to my routine and trust that my body will give me the thumbs up when it is time to bust a move!
Good news...I am not stuck...It is MY choice to stay out of the "stuckness"!

In the words of my sweet friend Brig..."Go With is part of the healing process!  Drink plenty of water....get some rest and brush your teeth!"

And in the words of my also very sweet friend Kerri,
"Deep breaths. Get your sleep and know tomorrow is a fresh lovely day. The tide can change at any second .... Keep riding the wave!"

So I am...breathing...resting....riding the wave... with freshly brushed teeth!

To borrow some of Kerri's words...

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

An Unplanned Reunion

It feels like old times. ..but not in a good way!

I am having an unplanned reunion with my old sick self!  And I am so not happy about it!

I have, over the past 13 months, generally and miraculously been able to overcome the health issues that I have faced for feel more alive and healthier than I can remember feeling in forever!

I like the new healthier, happier me...she is way more fun!
So...feeling like I have for the past 3 days...scares the hell out of me!

I am not feeling like much of an overcomer today....I feel sick and whipped!
So...I am writing about it usual! Hoping that admitting that I am freaked out a bit will help to alleviate the fear...put it into perspective..

As I write...I know that 3 days does not a pattern make....but I am frightened at the prospect!

So...I am turning this over to God...right here...right now...I have been blessed so immensely over the past year and those blessings do not expire!

God does not give us more than we can bear. He provides the strength I need to see me through...over....under...around...any obstacle I may face.

So...I need your prayers!  Thank u all for your support and for holding me accountable to this path that I am on!

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Sick Day

I am battling some kind of bug today.  So, nothing to post really...just please keep this Journey in your prayers! 

Tomorrow will be a better day!

Phil: 4:13

Monday, September 16, 2013

Between the Knee and the Nose

So....I am a bit under the weather. ..which means that the musings of the Fluffy Girl will be relatively brief tonight!

I worked a portion of the day and then caved to the whole sore throat...allergy thing!
So came home. up...coached my volleyball babies...and now am going back to bed.

Really hoping for some relief tomorrow...between my bum knee and my nose (runny)...I have not had the energy I need to tackle the workout routine I am supposed to be doing daily!

I need to keep up my intensity. ..It helps me stay focused on my goals!

Since the beginning of year 2 has been a little sluggish. ...I am anxious to get back to the business of working hard.. building muscle....losing fluff...and gaining strength!

Prayers Please!


Sunday, September 15, 2013

A Very Special Day

Hi...Today is a very special day in my world.  SEVENTY Years ago today,  a very special woman was born!
During that time she has been a daughter, sister, wife, niece, cousin, friend, co-worker...she is brave, funny, courageous, tough, loving, and did I mention. ..hilarious!

However of all of those roles she has performed so well...her best the big job of being my Mother!

An unenviable task at times! But she is a champ! If they held a Mom Olympics every 4 years...she would be an 11 time Gold Medalist!

She is both a Mom AND a friend...Bottom line...she is one Bad Ass Mama Jama!

SO ..I wanted her to have a fantastic birthday weekend!  We had a weekend full of some of her favorite things!  Good gifts...time with friends...more good food, church and lots of laughs!
I am blessed by all of her amazing gifts and am so clear that I could not have asked for a better human being to guide me through life!

Her Faith, Strength, and unconditional love ...have given me the strength I need daily to be an Overcomer...She is the original!

Over the years she has been a Mom to so many of my friends...she loves, listens, laughs...consoles, calms, and advises!
I had the cool Mom...still do!

So happy 70th Tone Tone! You Rock!

To ALL of you who sent her special birthday messages. ..thank you for making her day great!

Here is a little photo collage of her 70th birthday!

I love you Mom!


Happy Saturday/Sunday Morning!!!  It is 2:30 AM and I am just getting home from a very long, fun-filled day....

However, tonight's post is  going to be a Cliffhanger...because I am beyond tired...Just now that the celebration  has begun for my Sweet Tone Tone's (Mom) 70th (Sunday)...

We have already had a full birthday weekend and the "real deal"  is tomorrow. 

So stay tuned...tomorrow will be jammed packed! 

Goodnight for now!!!


Friday, September 13, 2013

This House is Clean!

So I had one REALLY long workout today...or at least is what it feels like...I CLEANED....I mean  REALLY cleaned mine and  Mom's apartment. 

I am not quite sure HOW...but it took me  the ENTIRE day and part of the evening to finish...But to quote Poltergeist...

THIS HOUSE IS CLEAR or Clean in this case!!!!!!!

AND  This FLUFFY is Tired!!!  LAWDY...LAWDY...I am whipped! 

It feels good to  get this accomplished today...AND I wanted my Mom to have a spic and  span house for her 70th birthday on Sunday!!!  No stress...just fun!!!

We do still have one "project room" but...that will be next weekend! 

I am looking forward to having some fun with my young Mama this weekend! 

She has chosen the "no party" route...but I got a few things up my sleeve!!! 

For tonight though..this girl is taking a shower and hitting the hay! 

Hey...just as a little positive note...Last year at this time...I would  not have been ABLE  to  clean my house at ALL..Another miracle!

Oh...and congrats to the NEW BOSTON LIONS...for kicking some  Pirate "booty" this evening...and thanks to my JuJu for making laugh WHILE I clean!!!  Big LOVE!!

Goodnight Peeps!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Being BOLD in my Faith!

So Last night...I went on a 7 mile (roughly) bike ride...The old knee held up pretty well...( thanks Brig for the suggestion).

About 3/4 of the way into my ride...Donna joined me and she asked me how I was answer was this...I am feeling defeated, middle aged and fat...oh and I may have a broken knee (not really)...She Laughed...That is what I was hoping for!!  :) 

I went on to say that other than that..I would have to give this day 2 thumbs up!!  For those of you that know me pretty know..I was going for the drama...For those of you that don't...I really was going for the Drama!!! 

AND...I am feeling a little defeated...AND I am definitely middle-aged...AND...I may be fat...still...BUT...on the bright knee is NOT broken!!! LOL!!!

But in all seriousness...I am making the effort to push through this Negative Nelly phase I am in...My feeling defeated is just as much about my attitude as anything.  I know with all of my heart that I have to be willing to be trust, to have faith and to overcome these challenges...the defeat lies in the negativity! 

Yesterday, Kerri sent me this:

It made me first thought was...I so suck at this at times....My second thought...she already knows that about me!!!  My third thought...Everyone probably knows that about me...
But...I am woman enough to admit that I need reminders...
So as I look at this photo...Of course...I see the Let Go...and then of course....the lighter "D"...But I am aware that I need to BOLD that D...LET GOD!!! 
I have to be BOLD in my Letting Go..and Letting God...I can't just loosen my grip...
I am good at clenched fisting through life!!!  I can hang on to Worry like it is the last life raft on the Titanic!!! 
I literally clinch my fists at times for no apparent reason...Oh...I have reasons...but they are just not apparent to those casual observers...
So I find it fascinating that I HOLD on to things so tightly...even if it is not good for me...I find it fascinating because it seems to be the same story with my least until a year ago!
So as I write this...I know that I am SLOW to Let Go(D)...It is a real challenge for me to truly release those things that are purely God's to carry...
So back to my defeated feelings are about the fact that I am still struggling with these same feelings after One year on this Journey...still struggling with the idea that I am capable of meeting my goal and still struggling with my own internal critical voice...THAT is defeating!!
I have posted this before...more than once...I am posting it again because it was written by a musician who had his own struggles with weight loss and Letting Go!  I have listened to this song many, many times as a reminder that I am not terminally unique...AND as a reminder that I, though flawed, am capable of overcoming even my most personal battles....even the battle of the bulge!
REDEEMED ~ Big Daddy Weave
Seems like all I could see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son
Stop fighting a fight it's already been won"

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I'm redeemed

All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head"
I remember, oh God, You're not done with me yet

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be

Because I don't have to be the old man inside of me
'Cause his day is long dead and gone
Because I've got a new name, a new life, I'm not the same

And a hope that will carry me home

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, 'cause I'm not who I used to be

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, yeah, I'm not who I used to be
Oh, God, I'm not who I used to be
Jesus, I'm not who I used to be
'Cause I am redeemed
Thank God, redeemed
So I will continue to battle the bulge with all of my imperfections.  That means...I have to unclench my fists loosen my grip and stop fighting with that critical voice in my head!  EVERYDAY! 
It did not take long for me to figure out this Journey was going to about WAY MORE than losing a butt load of weight...It was going to be about an overhaul..A complete engine rebuild...from the inside...out! 
So...Everyday I am Shuffling! 
Everyday I am learning to be BOLD in my Faith!!!

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

One Nation Under God

Today is a day to Remember and reflect on all that was lost...all the lives cut short. Today is a day to Remember all of the Love shared in those short lives.
Today is day to respectfully Remember all of the Overcomers...those that responded to save lives, those that gave their lives and those that had to rise above the tragedy and live their lives.
Today is a day to Remember that we are One Nation Under God. Indivisible!

I will NEVER Forget!

I read lots of 9-11 posts on social media today!  Lots of well thought out words, sentiments, memories of that day.  Probably like most of you, I can tell you EXACTLY where I I found out....and all of the ways that day impacted my life and the lives of those in my immediate little corner of the world.

But when I think of the people who lived that day in the skies over our Washington D.C.and Pennsylvania...I  am acutely aware that I cannot imagine what that felt like!  I never will know.  But here  is what I know now...There are so many stories  that have been woven in and out of the last 12 years...stories of amazing resilience...of unimaginable grief replaced with LOVE of  family and friends and amazing stories of strangers...neighbors...stepping outside of their comfort zones to help others move through that pain and begin to live life again!  This country was forced to rise above the heinous actions of others....and though we are flawed (because we are human)...I believe that as long as We are ONE NATION UNDER GOD...that there is HOPE...HOPE that cannot be conquered with Hate...Hope that Love Conquers All.

As this day comes to a  close...I am prayerful and hopeful...and I am aware that if this  day teaches us nothing else....My Hope is that it teaches us that we are a Nation of Overcomers...Myself included.

So I will in fact, Forge my little world on my little Journey!  One Fluffy Girl Under God!


Tuesday, September 10, 2013

An Injury Timeout!

Still plugging away here...I am hobbling along actually...I am having to take an Injury Timeout!!!

A little over a year ago...I was having some knee trouble (right knee) was right in the middle of the never ending Migraine saga...and my pain tolerance was a big, fat ZERO!!! was easy to persuade me to go to an orthopedic Doc to see what the deal was...

At the time I was "living" in the guest bedroom/Emily's playroom on the 2nd floor of Donna/Bill's house.  I was traveling up and down stairs much more often than normal and after a while...began to wince every time I had to go up or down...My knee began to swell...blah, blah, blah....

So I went to the Dr....He said I have a little arthritis and that if I lost weight (SURPRISE) it would greatly reduce the strain on the knee...made sense to me...even though my tolerance for the "it is because you're fat" response was wearing thin!  Pardon the pun! 

So...He said in the mean time..I can give you a Cortisone shot and drain the knee (ewwwww!!).  His assistant gave me a shot of Lidacaine...drained my fat knee and gave me a steroid shot!  Easy Peasy right...WRONG!!!  Less than 15 minutes later...I was in the back of an ambulance traveling across the parking lot (literally) in full on, scary as hell, anaphylaxis!!! So...just in case you don't know...It is beyond weird to have a reaction to a steroid shot...As a matter of fact, the treatment FOR anaphylaxis IS a steroid!!!  So as you might imagine...given my experience...the same treatment process seems unlikely!!!

Clearly...I am still too Fluffy for my knee...and my current dilemma is that it is extremely painful to workout with my knee in its current state!! 

MY REACTION!!!!  Panic!!!!  If I am unable to workout...I am unable to lose weight...more than likely...I will gain PANIC!!! 

I am going to try walking tonight...and then an upper body workout...and I am going to PRAY for a solution! 

I really do not mean to be a Negative Nelly!!!  I am praying and I am working on trusting God's plan...I am just having a difficult time seeing the forest for the trees!!! 

I do know that I can overcome...I do know that this is a temporary least somewhere in my consciousness...I am just having a hard time finding that file!!!  :) here is the rest of the whining...the pain...well the pain is my Kryptonite!!!  It makes me nervous...and it is consistent...which means I am consistently nervous!!!  So...As you might have already guessed...I am fighting the eating Demon!!!  I am not a good self soother...Without Food...

I actually feel embarrassed as I write that...but it is just a truth that needs to be said until it is not true anymore!! 

I am fighting though...mostly in my head...via prayer and lots of self-cheerleading...

I thought of my friend Amy!  She used to say this little phrase...It's No Step for a Stepper!!!!

Though I am not Feeling Like a Stepper today!!!  I know that I CAN be one!!!  I can conquer this rough patch in the road! I am going to keep saying it until it is TRUE!!! 

As I have told you guys before...I use this place to write my truths and the things that seem true but are NOT so!!!  It is a place where I write HOPE and I write my HOPE FORs....and part of that for getting out of my head the untruths...the doubts and the fears!

So as I practice my faith...practice Overcoming today's challenges...I hope you will continue to be patient with me...

This Journey is not about perfection...but I can try to make it be about being perfect on any given day...You know...and the funny that I am not really a perfectionist...BUT...I do seem to at times, to get caught in the trap that this Journey has to be really as close to perfect as possible... counteract that...I really do just try to focus on why I started this blog...For Accountability...NOT for a documentation of a perfect process!!!  Just myself, to those that are helping me get through this Journey and to a place to write the good, the bad and the ugly!!! a place to share the Hope of a having a healthier life...a life where I do my dead level best to be real!  Really honest...Really genuine...and maybe, every once in a while...Really funny!!!  All in hopes of being Really Healthy!

You are going to see the below quite often if you follow along this Roller coaster Journey of mine.
I need these words below more than ever!

I can Do ALL things through Christ Who Strengthens Me...Phil 4:13

And I am posting something that Kerri shared with me a few weeks back...a message in which she very smartly said "Listen Up"!!!  I am still listening...I promise!!!

Below is an article...about sabotaging weight loss...I thought I would share!

Monday, September 9, 2013

Just Random Thoughts...Ovecoming the Blah's

I think it is time for one of those posts where I post some of my favorite sayings...songs lyrics...etc...I am struggling today... mostly wounded right giving me fits...I have been SO lucky that I have not had to deal with any real injuries along the way...however, this right leg is slowing me down!  Ain't nobody got time for that!!!

So...I am making an effort to motivate...recombobulate...extrapolate, conjugate, matriculate my way into a better state of mind...without making the mistake to overcompensate, hesitate, prognosticate or otherwise procrastinate...You know what I'm sayin?

So here are a few things that I just like...that might help me bust a move, get in the groove...things that might remove the gloom and doom!  Just Random


Staring at a stop sign
Watching people drive by
T Mac on the radio
Got so much on your mind
Nothing's really going right
Looking for a ray of hope

Whatever it is you may be going through
I know He's not gonna let it get the best of you

You're an overcomer
Stay in the fight ‘til the final round
You're not going under
‘Cause God is holding you right now
You might be down for a moment
Feeling like it's hopeless
That's when He reminds You
That you're an overcomer
You're an overcomer

Everybody's been down
Hit the bottom, hit the ground
Oh, you're not alone
Just take a breath, don't forget

Hang on to His promises
He wants You to know

The same Man, the Great I am
The one who overcame death
Is living inside of You
So just hold tight, fix your eyes
On the one who holds your life
There's nothing He can't do
He's telling You



I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me...Phil 4:13

This song lyric by the Judds has always been one of my favorites...It has Always made me tear up...not exactly sure why...but that is still true today!  I still love singing this song!

I'm a dream chaser, a star gazer that's what I am
But I've always known I'd come back home when I found my rainbows end
Rainmakers and heartbreakers could never change my plans
Dream chaser, that's what I am

So despite my struggles this week...I still am 100% confident of the following:
Despite the mess that I can be
God is Always Watching out for me...
And when life's road gets a little rough
God's Love for me is more than enough!
As always...I need your prayers...your stories...your words of encouragement...ALL of it sees me through!



Sunday, September 8, 2013

Being a Winner!

Hi there...

I hope today has been a great day for you all!  I am still wondering aimlessly looking for a place to recombobulate! 

NO point in trying to deny that!  I am just off...not way off...but  off nonetheless! 

Of course, I have had no shortage of people reminding me that God is in charge of this Journey...has been from the start and with Him...this Journey will continue...I just have to have keep the faith, stay the course, keep on keepin on and Forge On!! 

And I will...I just am hitting a bump in the road!  I choose to believe that just like everything else that has happened along this Journey so far...that everything happens for a reason...that there is a specific purpose for each experience that I have had and that will continue for the rest of my life....with anything that I undertake! 

I have had several people share with me that they have experienced a bit of a let  down in the past after a major event...something that they have sunk their heart and soul reality is that I am experiencing that let down...that leveling out that takes place after the "high" of completing a major goal! 

I think if I am being honest...I have a fear that somehow year 2 will be less successful...less exciting that the 1st year...and I certainly do not want to create some kind of Groundhog Day effect!  I want it to be a continuation of year one...AND...I want to keep moving forward...I need to continue to move in a direction of success...not status quo....As much as emotional and spiritual growth can be scary and challenging...the rewards...the amazing gifts that come from the experience are too good too avoid!  And of course...I  want this Fluffy body to continue to defluff....I want to experience what it feels like to NOT be able to call myself Fluffy anymore and it be completely and totally true!

Basically...I want to win this Fight!!!!  I am going to keep putting the idea of being a winner out there...until I feel like one!!!

So....I have a few obstacles to overcome this week...The Blahs and a bum right leg...

I have had to take a couple of days off from my workouts...My right knee and foot are not fully much as I don't like it....I am taking a small break.  Need to heal a bit!

Tonight the Play It Forward-Rally to Serve committee met to have a "wrap up" session and to begin to lay out plans for next year. 

I am so proud to announce that WE raised over $6,000 (net) for our charities.  Each charity will receive a $3000.00 donation!  I am proud of our efforts and pleased with the results for a first year event.

I am hoping that our success this year launches us to new heights next year!  If  you missed the event this year....I so hope you will plan on joining us next year!  We will announce our date for next year soon!
For all of you that took part in this event...please know that you have been a huge part in the success of something that I hope will be an annual event..that reminds  us all that we can have an impact and that our children are worth our efforts and that we ALL are capable of great things!!

To my friends and my Momma...thank you all for special efforts...for taking the time of  your very busy lives to be such a special part of mine.

I have all kinds of great people in my life....My Mom...who has never said to me that I am incapable of doing great things.

To my friends who though you all know me in different ways...each of you have a part of my heart!

To those of you that have joined in on this Journey through this blog...or Facebook, Twitter...word of mouth...etc...each of you have had a special impact on my success in this weight loss Journey and in making me a better person!

Just like in life....I have people in my life that support me...I have a few skeptics...a few uninterested and LOTS and LOTS of those of that go above and beyond...Way Beyond!!!  I thank ALL of  you....ALL of you keep this experience  real and keep me honest and give me  reasons to push harder and fight for what I want!  That is invaluable!!!

Thank you tonight to my sweet Coach Carolyn Farr, Aunt Lois, Katrina, Karen and Kate...your words of encouragement are awesome...

And to my friend Brigette...who always makes me feel like I am a better person than I actually am!!!!  Hugs!

All of you push me to Go Above and Beyond...Way Beyond!!! All of you encourage me to be a Winner!

Saturday, September 7, 2013

The Fight to Light is Fierce

So it is Saturday...I got to sleep in today....which was good!  After my long night last night...I needed some rest!

However, I was attacked today by the Hungrys!!! is what I have learned over the past year...When I eat any form...i.e. Margaritas last night...I am STARVING the next day!!! 

So of course, today...I have wanted to eat and eat badly!  So sucks!  Here is the truth...these first couple weeks of Year 2 are starting out a little rough! 

I am still working hard...but am just battling a little boredom with my diet!  I really don't want to admit that...but it is true! I struggle with the beginning of year Two...I must dig a little deeper and work on regaining that unexpected Will Power that I have had throughout Year 1.  I so wanted the "struggle" to be easier this year...and the truth actually seems harder...Keeping the intense motivation, the inspiration, the proving a little difficult...O.K. a lot difficult over the past two weeks. I am...posting my truth here...hoping that the strength that comes from telling the truth...being accountable to all of you...leaving a permanent recording of the things I need help with...somehow continues to be the driving force I need to Forge On...

Life is so much different from a year ago and I know that there is so much that lies many new experiences...AND...I am just feeling Stuck. is a much different kind of stuck from a year ago...but it is still STUCK!!! 

So..I am at a bit of a loss...Just writing rather aimlessly in hopes that what I need to say makes the page! 

Here is what I am focusing on tonight....Each day is a new day....A new opportunity to move through the stuck  parts  and a new opportunity to embrace the lessons to be learned.

As I face the fact that I still have a long way to go...I am grateful that I have come this far and somewhere in this fog of struggle...I have the experience and the HOPE that I have come this far and that with God's help...I can in fact, reach my goal.

So....this is another Gut Check for me!  This IS a Journey...not a road trip...or a stroll...but a Journey!

I have to work hard to reach my goal.  I have to trust my experience and I have to stay Fortified in Faith!!!

I have a approximately 55 more pounds to lose.  I will meet this goal!!!! I know it is possible  because I lost 65+ lbs in the last year.  I just have to BELIEVE it with the same heart and strength that I have had in the last 12 months.

That heart and strength came from a perfect combination of great inspiration, love and support of friends and family and the unfailing Love of Christ! 

I am still trying to find that Recombobulation Area!!! 

The Life of the Fluffy Girl continues...The Fight to Light is fierce!!!  I want to win this battle!!!

Phil: 4:13

Friday, September 6, 2013

Back to the Business of Defluffing!

Hello friends of the Fluffy Girl...It is REALLY late!!!  I typically try to blog a little earlier on Fridays...but today was uber busy and I had to scoot early from work so that I could catch Emily's 1st 7th Grade volleyball tournament!

Please hear me say that these 7th grade girls are better than we were in High School!! WTH!

Seriously, these girls are setting and spiking (or at least making every effort to do so) at 12 and 13 years old...I could barely walk and chew gum at that age!  The Fluffy Girl felt old watching the game...It was one of those "These kids today" moments!  I am never quite prepared for those...but I find that they are happening more and more often...

So after the game...Donna and I did what any self respecting middle-aged, overwhelmed, hormonal woman would do...we had margaritas!!!  Now here  is the deal...Margaritas are horribly fattening but wonderfully tasty...something that I do not partake of often...However, I made the executive decision to use my "cheat" on frozen lime deliciousness...with a side of tequila!  A very rare  occurrence for me...but....It did not suck!

Here is part 2 to  that story...tomorrow...when I am attempting to workout...I will be sweating like Niagara Falls...It will be profoundly ugly!  But with every good cheat moment...comes the reality of a workout to 'redeem" my poor behavior!

For those of  you that have ever imbibed too much and then tried to work out the next know what happens...for those that have not...the  sweat output is HUGE!!! A very unattractive side effect and a primary reason why I don't drink much!!! 

But if confession is good for the soul...then I must admit...that it was nice to just let me my proverbial hair down...enjoy myself and NOT be hyper-vigilant about everything I put in my mouth!

AND it was just a couple of hours of one day!!!  Not a daily event!  Though I must admit..the thought of HOW MANY calories I consumed tonight is frightening!!! 

So back on track tomorrow...Hair back up and Attitude adjusted!!!  Back to work!!!  Back to the Business of Defluffing...With a positive attitude and the  knowledge that I am on a mission!!!  A mission that is leading me down a healthy, happy path! 

So here is to an overly sweaty Saturday...a continuation of this Journey and a "cheat" used and enjoyed!

To my friend Donna....We still got it!!!  Not too bad for a couple of old broads!!!


Thursday, September 5, 2013

Desperately Seeking Recombobulation

DISCOMBOBULATED!!!  That is me today...Part migraine hangover...part busy at work...part hormonal female...part struggling Fluffy Girl = DISCOMBOBULATION!

Cursing ALERT!

In other words...I can't seem to find my ass with both hands!!!  And that is almost impossible!!!

Do you ever just have those days...those days when you cannot exactly pinpoint what is not right...but know that something is just off!! 

If not...You are my IDOL!!!  If you have...then you know what I am talking about...that slightly off...stumbling around kind of feeling with no alcohol or substance involved!

So yesterday...was a lost day...and although those are fewer and farther between...I so dislike days like yesterday!  I made an attempt to try and decipher what a day like yesterday teaches me...what the lesson is and what gift may come from it!  I am never sure...I suppose it could be argued that the Migraine stops me in my tracks and forces me to rest...I suppose the fact that I actually me the time to ponder those kinds of life lesson questions...Or I suppose it could just provide me the time to watch (listen) to and ponder why Honey Boo Boo is famous!  Regardless...I did not come up with any genius answers to any of those questions...But the good news is...What does not kill you makes you stronger!!  At least I hope that is the case!

So as I sit here this afternoon...I am searching desperately for the:

A Facebook friend posted this the other day and thought to myself then...I will soooo be able to use this some day!!!  TODAY is the day!!!!
I am looking for the Recombobulation AREA!!! 
A. I did not know that there was such a place
B.  It appears that it exists in the Airport
C.  Do I have to be traveling to go through this area?
D. Does it HURT?
E.  Is there an APP for it I can download?
F. Why is nobody using it!!!!
So...there you have it!!!  I am a Tired...Hungry...Head achy...Hormonal...Fluffy girl desperately seeking Recombobulation....Wonder what kind of calls I would get if I put THAT on Craigslist????
On a slightly serious note...I am having my food struggles...I am struggling with the fact that I am STILL struggling and when I have pain...I want to eat! 
So please keep me in your prayers...Pray for Peace and Recombobulation! 
Hugs to all...Jaime


Wednesday, September 4, 2013

The Token Post

Hello to all... Tonight's post is kind of a token post...just so I don't break my streak. ..
Today is a Migraine Day...feeling really sick.

Please keep me in your prayers!  I will take this day in stride and look forward to a better day tomorrow.


Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Slow My Roll and Get Some Sleep

I was unceremoniously re-introduced  to the Concept II Rower this evening!  Part of my "new" workout program is to do 3 sets of fast paced rowing then followed by additional cardio...

Please know that after tonight...I again, have found a new piece of equipment to demonize!!! O.M.G..

When I do something new that completely kicks my butt...I find myself  feeling a bit overwhelmed and tonight...feeling a little defeated.  I am not sure why...I completed the workout...but I  was just absolutely exhausted! My legs felt like jelly afterwards...So...I finished what I could of the workout...which was a total workout of about 45 minutes. 

BEFORE my workout though..I met my new 5th and 6th grade volleyball team!  I am coaching again...Without my Emily...but I am still looking forward to coaching!  My girls are really quite young and only 2 of them have ever played organized volleyball before....So we will all have lots of learning opportunities.

I know that I will be blessed by the experience...I am already...the fact that I again...get to be actively  involved in my community AND play a little volleyball!! Can't be anything but a blessing! 

So despite my tough workout...despite feeling a little whipped by the Concept II...I know that today is  one step further along in this Journey and I will learn from it! 

I am really tired tonight and I need to stop this crazy brain of mine...Slow my Roll and get some sleep!

Tomorrow is another day in this brand new Year 2!  I can only imagine what blessings lie ahead!

Goodnight and Sweet Dreams!

Monday, September 2, 2013

The Death of a Cereal Killer

HELLOOOO!  I hope everyone has enjoyed  this Labor Day weekend and that you all had plenty of time to enjoy family, friends, rest and relax!!! 

Today, was a good day!  Got up fairly early and went to walk with my friend Deb...who I have not seen in a lifetime.  Except we did not walk...but instead TALKED!!!  Something that I have always LOVED doing with her!!! She is absolutely hilarious...and is a wonderful OVERCOMER!!! 

I met her when I was still in college...I went to work for a mortgage company while on break  from school...Worked with some great people...some really funny I think it is quite a blessing to get to sit down with her 20+ years later and talk about life!!! 

Another one of those great God moments...Funny enough...she lives less than 20 minutes from she is going to be a new walking partner!!! Nice!!! 

So...After a full day of visiting...I managed to squeeze in a nap before getting ready for work tomorrow!!

But...tonight...I want to discuss an issue...A Cereal Issue....I love cereal...especially as a late night snack....I come by it naturally.  My whole life I have memories of getting up during the night and seeing the shadow of my grandmother sitting at the breakfast table have a "midnight" bowl of cereal...Either that OR she would have a bowl of cereal right before she went to bed!!

Regardless...I am my grandmother's grand daughter!!  I like a bowl of late night cereal...Which leads me to this...I am a Serial "Cereal" Eater...A Cereal Killer so to speak...I can "kill" a bowl of cereal in 5 minutes!!  Gulp! 

When I started this Journey...I knew....deep down inside that late night cereal was No Bueno!!!  And I realized that if I was going to tackle this weight loss...I could no longer be a "Cereal Killer"!!!!

Well...kicking the habit has been an uphill battle...I generally have done really well...but lately...Lately...I have gone back to my "killing" ways...

Now...Instead of slaughtering a bowl of Frosted Flakes though...I am attacking a bowl of Kellogg's Special K (Special Killer) Honey and Oat Flakes...Geezer Flakes!!! 

I have to stop...late night cereal is a no-no....It is Fluffy Girl's nightmare...or at least it is for the FG!

So...I am attempting to cut myself off...mend my evil Cereal Killing ways and give myself a Cereal Death Penalty...NO MORE CEREAL.

It is just one of those foods that I cannot have!  It may sound odd to some of you...but...throughout this entire Journey...I have mentally made a list of foods that I cannot have...that are  just dangerous overeating foods!!! 

So as a part of tackling year two....Sorry Kellogg's...but this girl has got to stop!!! 

I must find a new snack to fill my beloved cereal's shoes...I must get back to my almond butter and banana snack...or grapes...but NO MORE CEREAL...

Insert Musical interlude here "Taps"

So...clearly I have my continuing food battles to overcome!!!  I can beat this Cereal addiction!!!  :))


Sunday, September 1, 2013

A Graceful Winner

Hi has been a lovely Sunday.  We went to church at a different church today...Faithbridge UMC...I love their music and every once in a while I like to mix it up a bit...keep things interesting!

Good sermon.  Great music thanks to Lizi Bailey! Got to see a friend I have not seen in a while!  Good way to start the day!

A scripture was read this morning that really resonated with me...These words:

"God opposes the proud but gives Grace to the humble. "

Really stuck in my brain. ..

I am a competitive person. Not crazy competitive. ..but I don't mind winning.

I learned playing sports that there is a very fine line at times, between confidence and arrogance.  I learned early to respect a humble winner...and often found myself not so fond of the prideful...boastful winner.

Yesterday, while watching some highlights of a major college football game...I saw a display from a very young, very talented athlete that really turned my stomach. ..a display of boastful pride that made me hope that someone in his life will stand up and remind him that a graceful winner is an honored winner...a respected winner.

As I was thinking about that this morning, I was reminded that I want to exhibit a grace as I overcome my daily challenges. I want to stay out of my prideful self and stay in my humility. 

I think that God intended for me to have the opportunity to stand face to face with a graceful winner.  A winner in the sports world (something I love and appreciate) so that I could "see" that kind of grace in that I could be reminded of daily grace...of grace-filled humility at the very top of the food chain. . So to speak!

As you all know...the opportunity to experience that with Kerri was a pivotal moment in my Journey. ...A Gigantic God Moment!

In the pride truly came before the fall for me.  My pride paralyzed me...kept me from reaching out in humility and accepting God's Grace.
I often refused to "try" for fear of failure. ..fear of losing my dignity. pride.

God has given me SO many opportunities to be humble and to experience Grace over the past year. He met me where He knew I would be most impacted and presented me with living, breathing examples!

As I continue this Journey, I will still have multiple opportunities to let go of my pride and embrace humility as a powerful, grace giving emotion that will lead to a heathier, happier life!