Saturday, January 31, 2015

Time Well Spent

I lost a friend today to cancer.

He fought cancer with the full armour of God. He believed that God intended for his life to have greater make a difference in others lives. He was right.

Steve and I were co-workers. He was kind, funny and humble. We lived in the same part of we often started many a conversation by commiserating about the drudgery of our lengthy morning commute.

We talked about our families and had lengthy conversations about sports...AND American Idol! Yep...deep stuff!

Funny enough, though our topics of conversation were often light...they were never superficial.

Though we no longer worked together, over the past few years, we kept in touch, emails, quick conversations, a chance meeting with he and his sweet wife at a local restaurant...

When he was diagnosed with cancer, he sent an email to several of his professional contacts. I called him immediately to let him know that he had my support and the end of the conversation he said this...

"You know are one of the best friends I have that I never hang out with."

Breaks my heart!

Since his courageous battle began, we have exchanged texts, shared a few thoughts on how God has graced our lives and how much our lives can change in just a single moment.

Time is is one thing in life that is constant...never ceasing...but time can feel like it zips by...leaving me in the dust...and conversely...can feel as if it is moving at a snail's pace....mind numbingly slow.
Time can seem in short supply and hard to come by...and at times, never-ending.

But here is the single most important aspect of time...It is precious...every single moment.

Today...I find myself wishing for a little more.

In the last 2.5 years, God has given me the opportunity to see, with unprecedented clarity, the fragility, value and importance of time.

He has offered me the opportunity to reassess my definitions of quality time, timelines, wasted time and time well spent.

Today, though I find myself deeply sad, I am also eternally grateful.

Steve would tell me to ditch the sadness...embrace the the gratitude! Live Life Fully

So I think I will...

Live with great intention...Love with my whole heart...and walk bravely...Head Up...Heart In It...Walking not by sight...but instead by Faith.

My friendship with Steve was relatively short in terms of time...but was infinitely special... time well spent.

As I close...this a prayer Steve shared just a week or two ago.

May I all I do today begin with you, O Lord. Plant dreams and hopes within my soul, revive my tired spirit; be with me today..." Amen!

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Brick By Brick...Day By Day

This Journey has really been a "one step at a time kind" of trip...trying daily to build a new structure to my life...brick by healthy brick.

On some days...and in a certain light...I can see that structure rising up...I can see  the progress...and on others days...well...I feel a "few bricks short of a load"!

I was back in the gym tonight...just to do some upper body work in hopes of building strength there..while I try to heal or quite possibly wallow in denial regarding how injured my left knee really is...not looking good tho!

In my denial...I got on the bike only to discover that I could not even make a full rotation...bummed!

However...brick by by day...I plan to do my best to continue to build a healthier body!
Injuries and setbacks are part of life...but so are victories...and healing!

While I may actually BE a few bricks short of a load....I am still planning on suiting up (in full on Lycra) and pedaling my way to Austin...raising some money for a wonderful cause and continuing construction on this life of mine!

Forging On...albiet with a limp....but Forging On nonetheless!

Monday, January 26, 2015

Push Me, Pull Me, Pick Me Up, Carry Me Through

My friend Brigette sent the below to me today.

Boy...I hope she is right!

It really is an amazing blessing to have people in my life who see me in such a different light than I see myself...

Keeps me me courage and strengthens my resolve! week ago...I, while training for the MS 150,  took a nasty spill....a whole lotta me hitting the hardest concrete ever!

After the shockwaves subsided....I picked myself back on the bike...and pedaled home with some serious road rash and a slightly bruised ego! :)

Honestly,  it hurt like hell...but I did not feel too terribly injured...and certainly felt lucky that my skinned knee was the worst of it!

However, I may be facing a little longer recovery than I expected. 

I won't lie...I am feeling a little old and damaged...however, really still believe I can take on this challenge in April.

Oh...I have my doubts and am battling that creeping sense that I could fail...but because I am surrounded by those who remind me that stopping is highly overrated...and that God provides the strength I need in those moments when believing seems silly and courage seems thin, I'm gonna keep going.

My friend Camille said these words to me today...unrelated to riding a bike an absurdly long distance. ..but these words transcend situations....

 "We both know if it's meant to be it will be.  If not, it's just another step on the path to where you are supposed to be."

I don't know if I am unstoppable....but If I am...It is not because of my sheer is because I have so many people in my life who push me, pull me, pick me up and carry me through!

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Keep Moving Forward...Even If I Don't Move An Inch

So I am in the middle of Week #2 of training for my 1st MS 150...Training...really making an effort to prepare for this ride...These are just a few observations I have made so far:
  • Riding 20 miles  and not moving an inch evokes a little feeling of claustrophobia...Stationary bike problems!
  • Padded bike shorts are not adequately padded and strangely enough, neither is my ass.
  • It appears that Cycling gear companies do not believe fat people should bike seriously.  Lycra kills!
  • The inventor of the bike seat was an evil, evil, human
  • My ass is numb...but not numb enough
  • I find myself wondering if I will ever ride a bike again after this ride
A few more observations/confessions:

  • It feels good to have this goal to work towards
  • I may be just deluded enough to believe I can actually do this.
  • I truly hope I don't lose any butt fluff before this ride...padding is key.
  • While riding, I play the final race scene in the movie Breaking Away in my head for motivation..
  • Thinking that I will start a bike ride for fluffy people...Tour de Fluff

Lastly...really grateful that I can even attempt this challenge!

Really happy to have a numb butt from riding a bike instead of from being in a hospital bed too long.

Really stoked that I get to participate in an event wearing clothes that make me look like a sausage on wheels...ok...maybe not grateful for that!

Even more grateful that I, by the Grace of God, have people in my life who buy into my madness...believe in my dreams and never mention how bad I look in Lycra! 

    JUST GOTTA KEEP MOVIN' FORWARD! (Even If I never move and inch)

Friday, January 9, 2015

Holy Cow...It's Official!

So it is OFFICIAL...I have officially registered for the MS 150!


I hope the below does not happen! LOL! It's a possibility!

So...let's all bow our heads and pray that this STILL fluffy, soon to be 48 year old, more than slightly damaged up for the possibly maniacal musings of a  mind that keeps challenging...keeps believing and is STILL insistent that this Journey is worth the effort and that I CAN DO THIS!

Get ready...lots of bike riding, lots of bike riding adventures....all bike...all the time...till the Cows Come Home...or at least until the Cows chase me off the road!

Monday, January 5, 2015

The Story You Live

I heard the following words during a church service recently.

"The Story You Live...Is The Story You Believe"

For the past 2+ years, I have been "editing" my story...the story that I live.

I have been on a path to take my story as it were and create new chapters with not rewrite so much but rather to write from a different place with a different plot in mind.

In the process of doing so, I am learning all about Believing in my story...and more importantly, believing in the Story that has already been Divinely written for me.

Though never a big believer in New Year's resolutions, I am resolved to this daily:

Practicing, praying and willingly living and believing in My Story...the one written for me...contributing to that Story by living with intention,  believing with my whole heart and trusting without limits.

Piece of Cake! :)

So...the story continues!  Happy New Year!