Thursday, February 27, 2014

Crashing Into Grace

So I am sitting here in Fredericksburg, the lovely Texas Hill Country...having dinner with my Mama and thinking about my Saturday!  Facing another uphill climb...only one I have CHOSEN to take...a climb that represents a different kind of me. Last time I was here I did not know if I could make the climb...If I could reach the Summit. Tomorrow I will go up and down twice...I will climb with a different purpose...but with the same goal. 

As I write this I am aware of how different this Journey is for me today than it was in March 2013...So much more than I could have ever imagined! 

I write this knowing that though I am not where I ultimately want to be...I wouldn't be anywhere else! 

I read this quote by an English Christian writer I follow on Twitter...her name is Anita Mathias. I think these words speak to the very heart of my my life! I LOVE THESE WORDS!

"We dash headlong, out of control-- & bad things really should happen--but then, miraculously, we crash into grace."

Tomorrow...I again...dash headlong into this Journey....asking, seeking...knocking...and I believe that I again...will crash into the miracle of God's Grace! 

I am counting on it! 

Embrace The Grace

So it is MINI GOAL time!!!  Starting at the beginning of this Journey...I decided that I would need to create opportunities to push myself physically, have fun and set goals for myself in order to stay motivated along this Journey.

In November of 2012, I did my first 5K and in November of 2013 we did the SAME event only, I agreed to run (in intervals) a portion of the event. 

So in February of 2013, I, along with a couple of my "youngsters", climbed Enchanted Rock in Fredericksburg, TX...a 425 foot monolith of pink granite! 


This year...We are going back...with a twist...My plan is climb big rock again....only up and back twice this time!!  A Fluffy Girl on a Mission...

Here is the cool part...Kristen, Stephen and I will be joined by my friend Donna and a new friend...that I have had the pleasure of "meeting" through the blessings of this Journey and our mutual admiration of Kerri Walsh Jennings. 

Karen and I will be meeting face to face for the 1st time and will be making this trek together!  How cool is that!!

After finding myself "slumping" a bit during and immediately after the Holidays...I am starting to find my "mojo" again...Back in the Business of Believing. 

I talk about making every effort to live intentionally...and feeling excited and motivated require intentionality (in my opinion). 

Regardless of how difficult this Journey can feel on an emotional level...I can embrace equally the things that fill my heart as I go along...Climbing a big, beautiful rock with people who support me and my efforts to improve my life....well...that is worth embracing!! 

Meeting someone face to face for the 1st time who has proven to be so incredibly supportive on Faith alone...that is worth embracing!!

Spending 3 days in the Beautiful Texas Hill Country...425 feet closer to God...THAT is worth embracing!!!

I am reminded today...that I continue to experience God's Grace on so many levels...

Any story ever told about losing weight...or beating an addiction...conquering a feat of any kind...always includes a positive attitude...ALWAYS involves intentional living! 

Today...I am praying for the willingness to Willingly Live with Intention!  To Embrace the Grace!!! 

Here is my Commitment to this Journey... that I am making here this place where I present myself as an act of Accountability...I Commit to Be Willing...To Do Whatever It Takes to See This Through...Physically, Emotionally, Spiritually!  I Commit to Trusting that I will have everything I need to do that and I Commit to Embracing the Grace! 


Asking, Seeking, Knocking...Clarity of Mind....Direction....Heart! Every Day!

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The Plot Thickens

I saw this the other day on Facebook and loved it...

So when I read this...I thought that is soooo true and it DID make me laugh...Of course, I did not leave well enough alone and began to think about this on a deeper level!  Of course!!!

My life has always had some superb cast members...that goes without saying...I really can't think of anyone in my life that I did not learn something from...even the roughest relationships...even the relationships that left me heartbroken and confused.  And though I may not have always recognized the learning opportunity at the time it presented...I usually catch on. 

As I have "matured'...:) I seem to have a deeper appreciation for those learning opportunities.

But the most impactful part of this funny observation..involves the piece about the plot!
I can safely say that I  have certainly felt like I was in the dark about the "Plot" of my life! 

I am betting that most people have had questions about their own personal life plot somewhere along the way...and I am pretty sure that some people are perfectly confident in the direction of their "plot"!

I have my moments...AND after reading the above...I realized that for the 1st time in my life...I have a much better understanding of my own own direction.  Now don't get too excited...I can't sit here and say that I am 100% sure of where I am going...what God has planned for me, that would be an untruth.

But here is the progress piece...I really believe that I have a plot. You know the whole...Higher Purpose idea!!  It is funny....while I am on a Journey to LOSE...Everyday I am reminded about how much I GAIN.

By becoming a Loser...I am learning to be a Winner!  Corny enough for you!!! 

Really though..I cannot say it enough...the day I realized that this Journey is about learning to walk in Faith vs. just losing weight...the tables turned and the Plot began to materialize! 

So as I continue on this Journey...Continue to Ask, Seek, I continue to work toward the goal of a healthy body and as I continue to Seek Clarity of Mind, Direction and Heart...I will Pray or God's Guidance...Every Day! 

The Plot Thickens!!!

So back to that supporting cast for a minute.  REALLY Superb!   Thank you!

Sunday, February 23, 2014


This is one of those posts that could go in several different directions.  Just like my thoughts!
It has been a day of reflection...of unexpected feelings...of excitement about what lies ahead and fear about the very same thing!

I listened to a great sermon today...sitting with people I to see an old friend from high school...and was given the opportunity to once again KNOW that God is loving me through every single step of this Journey....and truthfully...I left the building with some unexplained angst. ..some awkward displaced feelings...

So I had a healthy lunch...did a 4 mile walk and now sit here...praying...writing...sharing pieces of today's's trek!

I told someone important to me..someone I respect. ..that I am completely IMMERSED in this Journey...again.  After feeling disconnected for weeks...they simply responded, "Good and it is OK".

I thought the response spoke volumes....truth does not always FEEL Good OR OK!
But it is crucial....It is important!

This Journey is about finding a way to faithfully take care of my body....faithfully take care of my relationships...faithfully seek God's guidance and Faithfully Forge On!

Truth...This Journey is INTENSE and I am wrapped in that Intensity today!

I set a goal today (officially) to LOSE 40LBS by August 16th...the day of our 2nd Annual Play It Forward-Rally to Serve event!

QUITE FRANKLY, it scares me to set the goal...AND it feels feels important to progress along on this Journey!

As I finish this I feel compelled to say this prayer!

God, Grant the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can and The Wisdom to know the difference.

Friday, February 21, 2014

Barking Mad!

Good Friday Evening...Quite Frankly...It has been a rather odd...disjointed kind of day...

Started by taking Mom to eye doc for the big reveal! Bandage removal...etc...her vision in her left is GREATLY improved!  Now...right eye to go and she will have super human eyeballs! 

Afterwards...I had to take Mom to pharmacy and home....jump back in the car and head to an appointment...lunch..then get from The Woodlands to The 2:00 pm! For those of you not familiar with Houston....THAT is no easy trek in Friday afternoon traffic!!

The company I work has been purchased and we had a company meeting with our "new employer" so I could NOT be late...

I did manage to have a healthy lunch
..but here is a truth...a confession of sorts...I missed the convenience of fast food today! Instead though...I slowed down and ate healthy....

Had the meeting and THEN had to commute from the city's busiest shopping area to home... and still remain sane!

Despite the chaos of an over-scheduled day...I did manage to eat healthy...stay fairly calm...remain focused amidst a few mistakes AND I had the honor of sitting down and having a long conversation with someone that knows me well and still believes in me!  I always leave a conversation with her feeling like God is standing right next to me...Fully alive...fully loved!

Before I go...I had a few funny encounters...One...I met Marcia, a 57 year old interior designer who suffered a major stroke...had 4 brain surgeries....was in a coma for a month and ICU for 2 months...we met at lunch...her story was so bizarre and miraculous! HER take on it...God's got plans for her! I was leaving the Galleria...I saw a woman...wearing a long flowing evening gown and carrying a poodle like a sack of she crossed the parking lot...she barked at EVERYONE...LOUDLY! Not The DOG...but the woman....The Woman was as I passed a great distance, I thought...Life could be much more challenging...I could face the task overcoming a major medical to speak...walk..etc...or worse yet...I could just be BARKING MAD...wearing a satin evening dress....carrying a poodle across the parking lot of The Galleria...scaring the hell outta people!

Instead...I am a fluffy girl..fighting to lose weight...blogging even the most mundane details of my Journey to the most personal moments....AND scaring the hell outta people!

Still seeking Clarity...still Forging ON! Blessed Beyond Belief!

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Clear Vision

Hi to all...It has been a busy day...My Mom had cataract surgery on her left eye today!

She was really ready to have the surgery as she is REALLY tired of not seeing clearly! 

So...we were up and at'em and at the surgery center this AM.  We had the normal delays..pre-op...etc...I had time to crack a few jokes to some unsuspecting nurses and medical staff...who may have not FULLY appreciated my humor...but we had fun! 

I decided that our theme song for the day would be "I Can See Clearly Now"

So of course...I decided to include the song in my blog and found this REALLY cool version by Johnny Nash as he appeared on one of my favorite TV shows ever...The Midnight Special!!!  Check out the leather suit!!!

I Can See Clearly Now

So I as I sat there...waiting...with the opportunity to reflect on the events of the last few days..I realized that my quest for Clarity along this Journey...My renewed increasing desire to really meet this connection to those that truly support me and love me...and most ever- evolving faith...that I on a path to Clearer Vision!

I thought of a verse from one of my favorite hymns:

Open my eyes that I may see
Glimpses of truth Thou hast for me;
Place in my hands the wonderful key
That shall unclasp and set me free.

Silently now I wait for Thee,
Ready, my God, Thy will to see;
Open my eyes, illumine me,
Spirit Divine
I am still on this a healthier version of me...I am still on this Path that is defined by God and I am clearer now that I do not have to do this perfectly or to please others...I am working hard and I find myself blessed everyday in many different ways.  
2X UP and DOWN!!!!
I am ready...ready for the challenge...ready for the time in Nature!!!  Ready for the LOVE!!!!~
I posted a new weight today!  Have lost most of my "Holiday Weight"...
Still Forging ON!!!  I will get there...I am fully equipped...I just need to keep my goals clearly in my sight!
For Today...I have Clarity and if all goes well...Everyone in THIS house will See Clearly by Morning Light!  Prayers for good results for my Momma as she finds out in the morning how her vision is...Hopefully...The "Eyes" will have it!
For today I am grateful to God that in this moment, my Vision Is Clear!

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

A Little Battered and Bruised! buzz word...EMBRACING primary objective...

Today, I had clarity but for a brief moment....when I realized that I cannot embrace Joy...when I am pissed off!

No matter how many Joyful moments I attempted to embrace....I only fully embraced my grouchiness.

But having a moment of clarity was nice!!

There is always tomorrow!

Still Forging On....Still seeking Clarity...

As a side note...on rare occasion....anger motivates...not my first choice...but a bit of a Silver Lining!

A little battered by the day...a little bruised!

BUT...You should see the other guy....TEASING!

GOODNIGHT...Sweet Dreams and here is to a New Day!

Sunday, February 16, 2014


First, happy Sunday to all...I hope this day is filled with love, joy and many great blessings.

Today started like most of my! Mom and I visited a church I love to go to largely because of the music. Given that music is impactful for me...I almost  always get something great when I visit this church.

However,  today held something quite unexpected...something REALLY unexpected! 

So after church, we had lunch...and I sat and thought of what a doozie this post was going to be!!

So...after lunch...I dropped Mom at home...changed clothes and headed out for my Sunday "reflect and recharge" time...which started with a 2.5 mile noise...just prayerfully considering  what I had experienced this morning!  Prayerfully asking God to guide me as I write this "doozie" of a post.

I would like to say that EVERY single post I write is prayerfully considered before I let my fingers fly...but that would be a big fat lie...I do strive for that...but all the time...not so much!

So man..I had ALL these big things to say...and then something happened...I realized what had happened for me was incredibly personal...valuable and needed to be discussed with great care....and ultimately not here..not least not fully.

But here..after prayerful consideration IS what I can share...

The sermon I heard this morning was titled:


The speaker is a college ministry leader in Waco, TX named Timothy Ateek.

He started his story by talking about that certain moment in a relationship when the status...direction...etc of the relationship is "defined" outwardly...verbally!

A "Define The Relationship" moment...DTR

His message was about that DTR we have from Christ....Romans 5: 1-11

As he gave his message...I knew that I was hearing something relationship changing...on a Divine level.

Here is what I am comfortable saying today...after listening to His words...I received a gift of CLARITY!




I am on track...I am on the right path and I have everything I need to succeed.

There is work to do...and more importantly, there is great Joy and Love to embrace.

I AM INSPIRED in a much different way.

I think that I will find that as I fully comprehend and embrace my own DTR moment, I will share some of that here...and I know that I will share it in HOW I continue this Journey.

Oh...and BTW...I am losing weight again...literally and figuratively! 

In the next couple of days...I will post the sermon I heard today! 

Happy Sunday Friends!

Saturday, February 15, 2014

A Guide for My Direction

As I lay my head on the pillow prayer will be for Clarity...




I slowed down today...after a busy week and several big opportunities for me to trust God's plan last week.

It was not easy to slow my roll...or rolls as it were...

But I really made every effort to find the joy in my day...not that I had to look far...I just had to be willing to SEE it!

I made an effort today to share my heart...overcome the daily obstacles...and trust!

So as I close my eyes tonight...I pray that the words written in the picture below will permeate my heart...and be a guide for my direction...

One step at a time! 

Friday, February 14, 2014

A Valentine Love Story...With a Twist

Happy Valentine's Day... and welcome to A Valentine Love Story-With a Twist!

Being profoundly single...and having been so for a very long time...I must admit that I have sort of adapted Valentine's Day to fit my definition.  Make it work for me!

For me, as I grow older, Valentine's Day is really just one more Day to Love with all of my heart...only with gifts and fun heart shaped cards!!! I participate in my own way with the people I love!

This morning I received a message from a friend that I liked and thought it was a good way for this single girl to treat Valentine's Day:  She said...

"..."Hug everybody you love today, and maybe a few extra just for the surprise factor!"

I liked that idea!!  Who doesn't like the Surprise factor!!! :)

Kerri posted this on her Facebook page today and I am taking the liberty to share...Also thought this was a sweet way to approach the day!

"Helpful hints for ALL of us today... whether single or in a relationship, we can take things into our own loving hands... Happy Valentine's Day everyone!"

So...Consider yourself hugged! one of my favorite things to experience is...Unexpected Inspiration.

Lately, I am really trying to be intentional (again) in my actions as I continue to move toward my weight loss goal to invite more Joy into my life and my goal to give more Joy back to the world in which I live! 

So truthfully...I started writing this post because I read a friend's blog post.  Her words in her post were some more of those perfect words I spoke of a couple of days ago...they just struck a chord in me!  So after reading her post...I sent her a text...telling her that her post contained perfect words for today and were in fact, some of that unexpected inspiration I so love and need...

Now at this point...I was going to expound upon HOW those words impacted me and why I love them...when...we started texting back and forth...which then led to a phone conversation. 

A little background...

You see, my friend IS a Writer...a great one at that!!!  We have been friends since we were kids...She moved away and we stayed friends...I even spent time with her family after they left Humble and moved to the DFW area.  As a matter of fact, the FIRST time I ever flew on an airplane by myself was to see her and her family.  We kept in touch over the years...and then, we drifted stuff..I guess...

However, thanks to social media...we reconnected...a gift for me!

So back to the story...So..truth is...I was finishing my day at work...I had read her post at lunch and decided that I could not pass up posting about one of my favorite topics...Unexpected Inspiration.  Now as much as I loved her blog post...the conversation...That is where the real inspiration was waiting! 

You see my friend has her own story...her own Journey and though different than mine...I am inspired by her courage, her indomitable spirit...her faith and her great heart!

So...I stopped writing my have this great conversation...that turned into one of those great God moments for me...I shared with her parts of my Journey that I needed to remember and she said so many things that hit home for many things I needed to hear! 

At face may have just seemed like two friends catching up...For me...It was one more opportunity to experience God's Love through another one of the Angels He has placed in my life!  It was one more reason to keep Forging On... to keep Striving to be the best I can keep sharing my heart and to keep my eyes on God's plan.

So by the time we finished our conversation...I decided to save what I had written...head home and finish here.  That has given me time to appreciate the love that I have in my life.  To appreciate the fact that I am blessed all ways. 

As I sit here finishing this post...I received a text from a very dear friend telling me that her sweet son proposed and is now engaged to be married to the girl of his dreams!   A Very special moment for this very precious family...a family that has greatly impacted my heart over the past year. Wonderful!

As this day began...I received this beautiful card from my precious Mom.

It says..."The Butterfly is the symbol that we are new creatures Through Christ.  You are in the middle of a life changing experience!  Jesus is Blessing You."

I AM in the middle of a life changing experience and as this Day comes to a close...I have perfect Clarity that I am being Blessed! 

So though I may not celebrate Valentine's Day in the traditional sense...(with Matthew McConaughy at my side...LOL)... I could not have been more surrounded by Love some completely unexpected, inspiring ways by some inspiring people who Grace my life!

With each of  today's exchanges/interactions I mentioned confidence belief that I CAN DO THIS...pushed a little closer to the surface, my love for this Journey rekindled.

...Happy Valentine's Day!

YOU can read my friend's Autobiography starting Feb. 25th...

Teaching the Cat to Sit-A Memoir by Michelle Theall

AND here is her blog post!

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

The Perfect Sentence-The Everyday Sentence

As I have said before...I LOVE words...clearly!  I love using them as often as possible...talking, writing, listening...I just love them. 

Here though is my chief complaint about times, they just do not fully convey my experience.  That is where Actions come in to play!

So...I really, as a part of my growth (and reduction) along this Journey....I feel like Actions MUST accompany my words.  Which as many of you know, can be difficult.  It is something that I struggle with...I want to be a person whose words have meaning because I back them with Action. 

I work at it...AND I use lots of times too times not the right ones...and at times..I get it right.  My favorite though...Is when I have someone in my life that lives by example..someone that has the ability to use the right words in combination with the perfect Action!

So having said that, today I was on the receiving end of a Perfect Sentence.

The perfect sentence is tricky...It has to be the best combination of words, timing and heart (action).

I love the perfect fits like my best pair of skinny jeans (LOL),  it completely and totally warms my heart when I least expect it...It needs no further explanation. 

AND THIS perfect sentence...sparked some inspiration within me!!!  I read it...and BOOM!!!  I got it...It fit and It made perfect sense. 

Today, I needed the perfect sentence....I needed a shot of confidence...I needed someone elses' wisdom to help me find mine. I received this sentence in an email at 6:30 AM this morning!! For me,  the perfect thought..perfect timing..and the perfect action of the person who took the precious time to send it.

"Just wishing you nothing but  CLARITY OF MIND...OF DIRECTION..AND OF HEART TODAY."

This is an EVERYDAY sentence for me...This is a sentence that I need to read everyday and know that the prayer that lives in this sentence is what I need in order to win my Fight to Light in every sense of the word.

Clarity is the key to this Journey for me and with it comes confidence, comes strength and I believe Clarity enables me to develop into the person I want to relationship to my work, my goals, my relationships and most importantly in my Christian life.

In her own way and in her own wisdom...My friend captured my daily prayer in a way that I had not been able to articulate. Her grace, her heart, with God's Love gave me a gift...the gift of Clarity!

This morning my Mom and I prayed together as I entered my day...I received these words above...I had the opportunity to face a challenge with confidence... with Clarity!  A Gift...A God Moment...

God is so taking care of me through those I love...through words, through music...through powerful action...on this fact...I have complete Clarity!

The fog is beginning to lift for me...I am feeling more confident, stronger...capable again, of completing this part of my Journey.

Thanks to my sweet Mama for praying such a heartfelt prayer and thanks to the precious author of the perfect sentence!

Monday, February 10, 2014

In Communion

So the birthday celebration continued into Sunday...maybe I will push for a birthday "Month"!! 

Last night, Donna, Bill and Emily had a little birthday shin dig for Aunt Jaime!!  A great meal, great gifts and a rousing game of Apples to Apples!!! 

Really thoughtful, fun and heart-warming evening!  I feel celebrated!!!  I love my people!

At the end of the month...a few of us will be making my now, annual pilgrimage to Enchanted Rock/Fredericksburg, TX...that is my birthday present from my Mom!!!  I will be trekking up and down the big rock twice this year...just to add a little new wrinkle to the trip.  I am really looking forward to it...being outdoors...hiking...spending time with my friends..and I always feel more in communion with God when I am in the outdoors! 

Speaking of communion...Saturday night at the Josh Garrels concert he covered an old hymn often associated with communion in churches across this nation.  I could not find a songwriter to contribute it to...but I know that it is an old African American Spiritual. 

The combination of the lyrics and music is a bit haunting and humbling for me.

Let us break bread together
On our knees, on our knees
Let us break bread together
On our knees, on our knees
When I fall on my knees
With my face to the rising sun
O Lord
Have mercy on me, on me
Let us drink wine together
On our knees, on our knees
Let us drink wine together
On our knees, on our knees
When I fall on my knees
With my face to the rising sun
O Lord
Have mercy on me, on me
Let us praise God together
On our knees, on our knees
Let us praise God together
On our knees, on our knees
When I fall on my knees
With my face to the rising sun
O Lord
Have mercy on me, on me

It made me think about communion...what it means in daily life for me...Here is how communion is defined per my friend Merriam-Webster...

1: an act or instance of sharing
2: a:capitalized: a Christian sacrament in which consecrated bread and wine are consumed as memorials of Christ's death or as symbols for the realization of a spiritual union between Christ and communicant or as the body and blood of Christ
b: the act of receiving Communion
3: intimate fellowship or rapport : communication
4: a body of Christians having a common faith and discipline

Here is what I love about music and people...the different interpretations and relationships both are capable of..

Music can be sung differently, touch differently, interpreted differently and can trigger any range of emotions depending upon the listener.

For me, the same is true for people. We each are capable of impacting each other's lives in different ways..while we sing the same song...we can touch each others hearts differently and our actions and words can trigger any range of emotions depending upon the listener.

I think that is why I feel most connected or in communion with God when in relationship to music/people...I feel God's presence most profoundly in the moments that I am engaged emotionally, spiritually with the people that I find along my Journey. 

Now please forgive me if I am getting a little too the weeds...but as people have asked me how my birthday was...I really found myself thinking that this birthday...this potentially non-descript turning of the page from 46 years to 47...has been one of the most heart changing birthdays I have had in a while...

I found myself surrounded by moments of communion...with my friends...with great music...with wonderfully thought provoking words and I found myself completely loved by God...a "no-doubter"!
By communion I mean...I had the privilege of "sharing" time, words, space and music with people I love...everything from the Josh Garrels concert, singing in the car, or singing a stunning version of Sound of Music's So Long, Farewell with my Mom, Emily and Donna at the kitchen would have loved it!!!  :)  All of that wrapped up in time and fellowship with my "people"...those people that at times, may be "singing the same song" in my life...but are each touching my heart in unique ways.

So in theme with singing the same song and it reaching different parts of us...below is Josh Garrels version of Break Bread and a version I found on You Tube...though unfortunately, I cannot credit the singer..Same words...different voices...same message...different heart delivering that message.  One thing in common...Being in Communion with God...with Each Other.

I love the fact that this birthday has made me think...even more...about how I connect with God daily and that further deepens my love for those around me that touch my heart and change it for the better.

I am Forging On!!! Phil 4:13

Break Bread-Josh Garrels

Break Bread Together

Sunday, February 9, 2014


So yesterday was my 47th Birthday....The actual day of my entrance to this world.
I have always thought that the celebration should be for my Mom...I was a couple of weeks took 28 hours for me to commit to showing my face...and when I did...I was all fat and sassy weighing in at 8lbs, 8 oz.  According to my Mom...I arrived hungry...hmmm...I sense the beginning of a pattern.
Over the years, birthdays have been a big deal....parties, days of celebrating, gifts, food...the whole shebang!
Yesterday was equally as eventful...but different. Truthfully, I wasn't really "feeling it" this week heading in to my birthday. I was busy and I continue to work on sorting through this part of my weight loss Journey and am in the weeds a bit.
But...Friday before my sweet Mom decorated the ENTIRE apartment with handmade decorations with sweet messages and cute stuff galore.
She always goes above and beyond to make sure I feel loved...even after 28 hours of labor and a 9.5 month pregnancy!
So...I started my birthday DAY with one of my "youngsters" friend, former co-worker, Rally to Serve partner, and fitness motivator extraordinaire,  Lindsey!  We met at a park, walked 3.7 miles, talked AND even had a little of her HOMEMADE LEMON CAKE...MY FAVE!
Next...Lunch (a healthy one) with Mom, Donna and family... evening!
As I have shared in prior posts...I connect most directly with God in a couple of very special ways...through Music and through the people he places in my life. And though I certainly am aware of God's presence in my life in many other ways...these 2 ways often impact my life most profoundly.
So last night...I got a double dose of God's Grace and Love...what a special birthday present!
About 3 weeks ago, my friend Camille sent a song to me that her son had shared with her called Farther Along by Josh Garrels. I included it in my Jan. 16th post. The song touched my heart, reduced me to tears and made me happy all at the same time!
So fast forward to Friday...I get a message from Camille asking about my birthday plans...she then proceeds to invite me to a concert...A Josh Garrels concert...on my birthday...where I will get to hear him sing this heart changing  song WITH a friend who is heart changing as well...HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ME!
The concert was brilliant, thoughtful, touching...perfect.
The people I attended the concert with were funny, loving, thoughtful, touching...perfect!

I was blessed by the music...and am doubly blessed by this great family of people God has placed on my path.
I have had lots of "birth" days in the past couple of years...moments when I celebrated something new being born in me..some little nuance of change or big dose of different that keeps me on my way along this Journey...Some amazing God moments that reinforces the idea that I am in the middle of life affirming process that will make me Lighter...physically, emotionally and Spiritually.
Thanks to my Mom for kicking off a great life by enduring my stubborn tardiness....and "decorating" my life with amazing support and love.
Thanks to my friends and family who have consistently made me grateful for my life and are onboard for ALL of my "birth"days.
Thanks to the new gifts in my life...those that have met me in the middle of an, at times, dicey life overhaul and love me anyway!
And thank God for sharing such precious gifts with me! the song I mentioned above says:
So much more to life than we've been told
It's full of beauty that will unfold
Farther along we'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why
Thank you to ALL of you that add daily joy to my life.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Let the Games Begin

So Tonight...The Opening Ceremonies for Sochi 2014! 

So..I think it has been established that I love the Olympics: I mean REALLY LOVE! 

So my sweet Mama does this funny thing...She posts signs on our door (the door from the garage to the house) that are celebratory in nature!!  Like this one...When I started this Journey:

And this one for my Birthday last year!
So night before last I came home to this!!!!
 She makes my heart smile!
So let the Games Begin!!!!
Maybe there is some unexpected inspiration to be gained and I know that there will be amazing examples of Courage and Perseverance...there will be amazing victories and there will be those that fall short of their goals.  One thing I love about the is a lifetime achievement that cannot be done without great thought, heart and work AND it does not happen every day or every year for that matter.  These athletes work a lifetime for this one chance...unless of course you know an Olympian that has been to 4 Olympic games!!!! :)  Seriously, the level of commitment it takes, the PATIENCE it takes...All of it is profoundly inspiring. 
As I turn a year older tomorrow...I know that I am grateful for my Journey...for the opportunity to work for my own version of a lifetime achievement...No, there will be no gold medal or torches carried...but the work is still required...the courage and the heart...the guts it takes to lose my gut...
I will continue to pray for the strength and courage I need to conquer this challenge.  God can Make A Way!

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Courage IS Required!

One more day...and the best sports competition in the World begins...The event where Courage, Faith, Determination, Perseverance, Tenacity...are household words. 

I love the Olympics...Summer and Winter.  The best part about the Winter Olympics is that the Opening Ceremonies are always either on or near my Birthday!!!  Happy Birthday to ME...this year...the Day before!!

For those of you that are familiar with my know, that this Journey started because of the least the final push of inspiration was provided on an Olympic stage by people who embody those words I mentioned above...and because God is good...I now have had the honor of seeing that kind of character up close and personal.


I will tell you that there is something special about an least the one I have met.  Strength (physical and emotional) that passes my understanding...Wisdom, Quiet Confidence..OPTIMISM...and amazing Faith!  Faith in the direction of the Path that she is on and the Courage of a LION!!! Of course, I do not profess to know her daily processes...but I can tell you this...there is something about this Olympian that stands out...her ability to consistently live/be at the level required to achieve her goals and do so with a wonderfully loving and grateful heart.  Just writing this paragraph reminds of why she inspired me in the first place.  She has a certain Light about her that blows my mind.

I continue to "report" to her my progress from time to time and I share with her certain blog times, I am a little intimidated to do so...not because of her...but because I struggle so much. 

However, it really does provide me with a certain will or drive that I just don't get elsewhere...I actually want to accomplish this goal for all of the reasons I write about so frequently...AND there is a little part of me that wants accomplish my goal in honor of her!  As a way of repaying the inspiration, so to speak!  That may sound kinda silly...but it is true! 

She would tell me to do it for ME...and I am...with just a little side for others as well!!

So I will say spite of  myself...:)...I am making progress again...losing weight..and slowly climbing up from where I have been...

Kerri sent me this quote a couple of days ago:

"Be courageous, open up and let love, prosperity and all the good stuff in. You are worthy of all this AND more!”

Really such a true statement...

Courage Is Required.

Opening up our minds and hearts is key! In doing so...I think that Letting Go is equally as important...clearing out all that keeps us closed off and afraid. 

Loving, Letting others love us and the hard one for me...Loving myself.. it is freeing and gives us space to be more than we can imagine.

And for Me...All of the above...Over and Above...require Faith...the true trust that I am not doing this...not taking on my life without the loving guidance and care from a Power much greater than me!!! 

After that...the Door opens and the good stuff will flow...AND from what I hear...with that comes Confidence, Perseverance, Determination...all of those traits that make for a champion and a happy champion at that!

My process...appears to require that I "clean" out a few "closets"...make room for the new stuff...the good stuff.  I pray daily for the courage I need to be in God's Will...My hope is that this part of my Journey...this "cleaning" out that feels intense, messy and maybe a little too much drama for some..will help me BE Courageous...Open Up and let Love, Prosperity and ALL of the good stuff in and Most importantly...will help me Live as an Example of Worthiness in God's eyes.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

There is a Way

Hi there,

This is a letter of sorts...from me to you...the many of you that take the time, the patience and the energy it takes to be a part of my life. 

So...I think it has been well documented lately that I am experiencing a few growing pains these days. A few weeks ago, I received this from a friend. 

I keep reading it...thinking about what that means for me...I agree that there are times when our best  plans turn our not to be the best...and that we, as people trying to reach a goal, have to amend plans in order to be successful. That makes perfectly good sense to me on a logical level...yet, I continue to struggle with all of the other pieces that play into this Journey over and above logic. 
So here is what I got in the last 24 hours..or I should is the reminder I got.  The Plan is God's plan...not mine.  So, I have to keep my ears, eyes and heart open to that plan.  When my plan interferes with God's plan...that is where the trouble begins and grows, if I don't reel it in!! 
Last night, I had the privilege of getting to hang out with two of my very first coaches.  As I have said before in this blog...If you ever have the opportunity to sit down as an adult with a teacher, coach, mentor,  someone that had an impact on your young life and talk about life from an adult perspective...don't pass it up.  There is something so wonderful in the exchange...Of course, though I may be bias, these 2 people are exceptional people and I am blessed to have the opportunity. 
They listened to they had a choice...and I listened to them...yes, I stopped talking long enough to do that every once in a while.  I found that in listening...I heard God's voice...His wisdom..coming through their words...their experiences...their courage and strength.  I am no dummy...I knew going into it that these two women had something to say that I needed to hear...they always do!
Also yesterday, I received a message from a young man that I am just getting to know and that I have had the privilege of becoming friends with his Mom in the past year.  I felt compelled to write a note of encouragement to him as he experiences some of those growth opportunities that God gives us on our way when we least expect them...we have ALL had those...Just wanted him to know that I believe God is right there...every step of the way...just a little note of encouragement...a prayer on paper of sorts.  He is 20 years old...and probably could have thought I was a bit of a nut when he received this note ( and you KNOW it was NOT a short note) from someone he barely knows...but instead he wrote this..."The fact that we have only met briefly makes this letter so much more special and clearly from the Lord!" Love is not just for us "seasoned" folks.
So...I got something from my time with my "coaches" and from this text from an exceptional young man...I was reminded that nothing can stop me if I remember that God loves me...more than anyone on this Earth can...That if I let Him guide my actions, my words, my plans...I will succeed...that There is a Way I can succeed. 
So as I write this, I am again aware that somewhere along the way...somewhere EARLY in this process...this Journey really changed from a weight loss Journey into a something much bigger...much more important. 
The 1st part of my title for this blog was created to reflect my Journey to lose 120lbs in a year.  I can PROMISE you that you can find hundreds of other similar Journeys online...blogs, video blogs, you name it...ALL of which document the lives of people taking on the challenge of losing a large amount of weight in an allotted period of time. And like me, some set goals that they have not met...Others have kicked some butt and amazingly have met their goal weight within the time frame they designated.  God Bless them all...for each of their experiences are unique and are, I am sure, filled with great stories of courage, strength, failures and successes...all that comes with making a radical life change.
The second part of the title of this blog was created to reflect the daily journey of this " fluffy girl's" journey to lose that weight...the honest, cold-hard facts of the Life...the daily life...of a Fluffy girl and her fight to become lighter!!!
Now...the part of the title that resonates with me most deeply is the Fight to Light. still means a literal lightness...lighter on my feet, lighter on the scale...lbs and lbs lighter and I am still hoping for 120lbs lighter...
However, the word Light has taken on a different meaning for me...a singularly more important meaning that now for me, is the real meaning of this Journey.  For me...this Journey is about learning to live fully in the Light..the Light of God's Love...and taking that Light with me...Living that Light so that others can see it...without straining their eyes and see...THAT is the fight for me in this really live as FULLY as I can, be ALL that God intended AND in a HEALTHY body.
See...the healthy body...the weight loss really has become a secondary goal..but very necessary for me to accomplish the ultimately bigger the live this life that God gave me to the very fullest...
I could spend hours enumerating the multitude of life changing moments I have experienced since August of 2012 and technically, I have in the over 500 posts here...and I am sure I will continue to do in the next 500...but I am not sure that my words...and my ability to utilize the English language will EVER be demonstrative enough, descriptive enough or eloquent enough to capture the reality of my experiences...but I keep trying!
But because I love words...I love this outlet as a way I can express the love, the craziness, the growth, the growing pains...the gains and the losses, the victories and the total fails.  But most importantly, I love this place because it is where I have begun to learn about the real meaning of this Journey...Because this is where I have met inspiration...because it is the  place where I am learning to share my heart, conquer my fears, cry my tears and make some really bad jokes. Because this is the place I am learning about my own personal Journey to Light and the ways in which I can be the share it with others...THIS is the place is where others have shared with  me their Light...their Courage and their Hearts! 
At the end of the day...This is the place where I am embracing ALL parts of my life...not just the fluff!  With every pound I lose (gain back) and lose again...I GAIN a permanent change in my heart.  I GAIN from all of you...much needed wisdom, courage, honesty and LOVE...
And just like anything in life...along this Journey...I have lost friends, gained new ones, relied on my family, looked to strangers for help and found friends in the process.  I have had to overcome my fears of looking foolish, or weak and trade that in for the knowledge that those things don't define me..but do give me the opportunity to grow.
I continue on this Journey...a bit bruised today...but clear that this Journey to worth the Fight...and that though the Plan MAY change...The Goal is Still the SAME only bigger!!!
So as I end this letter to you, I am reluctant to make any promises about the the trajectory of this Journey, the success or how long it will take...I am thinking though...that this Journey to one that will last a lifetime.  Relax though...I will not require all of you to read this for the rest of  your life or mine...But I will continue (not daily) to document my quest to get this body in shape for the rest of this Journey!
 One of the best parts of this Journey for me is really coming to learn and understand the power of Love...God's Love, sharing that and receiving it!  Thank you for being great teachers!
Still Forging On...There is Way! The Truth, the Life and The Way
 P.S.  This is a Great song...take a listen!

Sunday, February 2, 2014

The Peyton Manning of Fluffy Girls

Happy Superbowl least if you are a Seattle fan...
I am a Peyton Manning fan so...feeling disappointed for him tonight.

But he has something no one can take away from him...Integrity, Humility and a quiet Confidence and Grace...Greatness!

Richard Sherman could learn a thing or two from him..but  then again. could I!

I think we all would like to be great at what we do AND be well respected for the WAY in which we do it.

As I have stumbled lately...struggling with the changes I have been experiencing...fumbling along on my Journey...I am aware of the fact that I have always wanted to take on this Journey with a certain grace. I want to live as an example of integrity, humility and be the best person I can be throughout this process.

I guess though....I am really not feeling too graceful lately. ..clumsy, clutzy and awkward...seems a more accurate description. 

I want to be great at this weight loss thing...I want to accomplish my goals and succeed. I want for others to see the blessings God has given me in the way I live my life.

Frankly...I want to be the Peyton Manning of Fluffy Girls...

Confident. Graceful. Humble and with unquestioned Intergrity (and 120lbs lighter). the 1st week of the cleanse comes to a close... so far so good.

I attended a great Superbowl party...with lots of great food and friends/new friends. It was a bit of a challenge to lay off the groceries....but I got something, laughter, conversation (my favorite ) and the chance to share space with new friends and with those I love dearly....all over a game of football!

I am blessed!

This week, I will continue to Ask...Seek and Knock!