Friday, January 31, 2014

I Can Always use a Good Pick Me Up

Hi and Happy Friday...

AS this 1st week of the cleanse draws to a close...I can happily report that it has been quite tolerable..doable!

I am pleased with my results so far and will post a weight update next week. 

This week has been filled with grow, feel, achieve, fail and overcome. 

I have experienced the patience of others, the wisdom of others, the love of others and most importantly, the Grace of God. 

As most of you know, there are times when I am without unbelievable as that may seem!  In those moments, I find comfort in other's words...I am sharing a few here...some published, some from the amazing people who float in and out of my life!  So blessed by that!

Some of these are just thoughts...not necessarily in context to how they were given to me..but to me, they seem to transcend the need for context! 

"HE is certainly able to be your rudder, level, buoy, anchor, wind, rock, etc., since He created you!"

"All Life is a "work in progress"...each and every one of us...that is...if were are doing it right"

"Hold your head high-find the perfect (or even near perfect) balance and continue becoming the best you can be"

"Forge On and give it a whirl"

"Not only can you do this, you ARE doing this!"

The above gems came from a group of people that are in my life...some more frequently than others...ALL valuable, ALL wise...ALL make my life better and make me better! 

Here are just a few other things to think about!



If I am honest, the successes I have had along this Journey should be credited to the wisdom and love of those that God has chosen to put on my path.

Further, I am still ON this Journey because God and those very same people, lift me up when I fall...and I fall a LOT!

Trust me...I can always use a good pick me up! 


Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Take a Pill and Move On!

Well...I am on Day 3 of the cleanse...Hoping that this cleansing goes way beyond water weight...and knocks of a few REAL pounds!

I could use some concrete results.

So, one of my goals has been to reduce the number of medications I take on a daily basis. 

When I started this Journey...I had NO idea about the how's, when's, why's...but I knew that I needed to improve my health.

Being obese was the common theme in ALL of my ailments...meaning that even though my chronic illness was not caused by my supreme fatness...being supremely heavy certainly inhibited my ability to fend off infections and was in fact, the primary cause of my diabetes...etc...

So, having said that...I have discussed here how amazed I am at the direct and almost immediate impact losing weight has had on such ailments...particularly my diabetes! 

For those of you that do not know, I was insulin dependent when I started this process and know I am only taking a very low dosage of oral medication and am technically a "borderline" diabetic. 

Additionally, I am no longer taking cholesterol meds...

So, why I am telling you all of this...Well, I still have a few other medications that have been prescribed as a solution for some of my health problems.  Some will be with me for a while...but there is one in particular that I am choosing to that some may question my judgement (and already have) about considering how bumpy this past few months has been.

It is a medication that with it comes a bit of a stigma for me (and for many others)...and it is a medication that makes it very difficult to lose weight.  Many years ago, amidst a very stressful time in my life...a time marred by crazy health issues, a job that I hated and the loss of my grandmother...My Dr. (who HATED to see her patients in pain) prescribed an anti-anxiety medication for me.  She placed me on a very low dosage...then later doubled it (after the death of my grandmother).  That was in 2001.

So, here we are in 2014 and I have now been taking an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant for 13 years...though the dosage was greatly reduced in 2010.

Like any medication of its type, the body becomes dependent and stopping the medication can be difficult. 

I decided this year, I wanted to make every effort to discontinue the medication.  Of course, I was aware that doing so...may make for some difficult moments and the reality of the situation is that I made actually NEED the medication.

So that brings me to today...I have been without this medication for the past 3 weeks...and of course, it does not take a mental giant to conclude that it in fact, has been a difficult transition for me.

Here is my take on it today...generally, I think it surely has forced me into to dealing with the reality that I am an emotional person...who feels deeply and stresses out.  It is forcing me to decide whether or not I want to or need to medicate that part of my personality...

Honestly, I have real reservations about posting about you can imagine, some may read more into this decision or outcome that I may intend.  I have already been told it is a bad idea to "publish" such information about myself at the risk of a future employer, or a person who might misuse the information...or the NSA :)....using it against me.  But here is where I stand, ultimately!  I am on very defined journey that includes me holding my self accountable, telling my truth, promoting an honest approach to a very challenging task and most importantly, that God takes care of me...So...if I lose a few opportunities because I choose to reveal this Journey challenge...then so be it.

So back to my decision.  I am choosing to discontinue this medication, quite frankly, to see if my weight loss struggles are lessened and to determine whether or not, this emotional, deep feeling, stressed out creature that I am...can manage those difficulties without chemicals.

Here is a truth that I need to say...I personally, am just tired of being on medications that impact my body negatively...Having said that, if I, in tandem with medical professionals, determine it is a medication I need in order to live a successful, happy life...then I will take it!  Without taking this step, I cannot honestly say that I know what is true or not.

I choose to share this here...because I know I am not the only person on this planet to have struggled with these kinds of decisions and certainly with this very kind of situation.

I am not ashamed of it...nor do I think taking this medication defines or makes any statement about me...but I also that NOT trying to do it differently DOES make a statement about me and does limit me.

Lastly, I certainly have people in my life whom I care about deeply and trust, who think I should continue taking this medication.  I respect that.  And for some, I am sure they could present some significant evidence proving their point. 

But maybe, just maybe, instead of medicating all of the things that make me less tolerable, less functional in the short term...maybe...I have the ability to overcome those traits naturally...or maybe even still...those traits...the overly emotional, deep feeler...may not be something that needs to medicated...but just understood! 

And, if I am wrong...then I will in fact, Take a Pill and move on! 

In a world where there is a pill for just about everything...I would like to go against the grain...try living my life differently...

In the meantime, as always, I appreciate your prayers, opinions, words of wisdom...

Monday, January 27, 2014

The Cleanse Begins...Part Deaux

So...Today is the day!  The cleanse has begun...and God help us ALL.

I had an early staff meeting this morning...that I was on time to...however, was called out in the presence of everyone for not being EARLY to the meeting...

Not a good way to start the day...

Sufficed to say, my already detoxing brain and newly deprived body did not exactly let that slide.

After the meeting, I, of course, had to add a little humor to the situation...and reminded them all of the dangers involved when a fat girl has limited access to food AND on a Monday to boot!

So truthfully Day 1 has not been horrible. Last time I did this, the 1st 3 days were I am hoping my coping skills have improved. 

 Yesterday was the 1st planning meeting of the Rally Forward...Play It Forward Team for the 2014 Event!!! Mom and Kristen were unable to make it...but we are all back in and ready to go...


Of course...we had tremendous support from our families, friends, community, vendors, locally, regionally and nationally!! 

Willowbrook Volleyball let us use their amazing facility and my favorite Olympian donated some amazing signed gear!!!

In 2014, we will again, be raising money

Good Tidings Foundation

We will be posting updates on our Facebook Page at:


I am looking forward to more great volleyball, family fun and the opportunity to Play it Forward!!

We will be announcing the date for this year's event soon!!

So as I work to keep my head up...I will continue to pray...As I always am..I am so grateful for those that take the time to pray for this Journey.  I am blessed by some pretty amazing people...

I saw this quote by Max Lucado on Pinterest...It says a lot!

Sunday, January 26, 2014

I'm A Fixer Upper

Have you ever had one of those moments...where you spend a ton of energy and time..trying to create something meaningful and worthwhile only to lose it all...Well...that happened with this blog post...I spent over an hour...writing tonights post...It published...and then...It was gone...without even a shred of it saved...I have NO IDEA...

I guess  it was just not meant to be...

Here is the bottom line....I would like to tell you that my mind is straight...that I am back on the straight and narrow and rushing toward my goal at break neck speed...

Instead...My mind is fuzzy...taking lots of little steps along a very topsy turvy path...stumbling toward my goal at a snail's pace..

I know everyone is ready for  me to get it up and move too!!! 

Instead...I am spending most of my time trying to sort through the crooked path of my mind...praying hard for the willingness to be willing again...and literally walking toward my jogging, pumping iron..climbing or swimming...just plain ole walking...

In my original post, I talked about how it has been my experience that often in conversations struggle, depressed, overwhelmed...well..those are whispered words...often with a negative connotation...Like if they are spoken  too loudly...they might just be real...

So...I am still struggling (whispered)...

Over the weekend, I went to see Frozen...The new Disney animated flick.  I went to see it because of Idina Menzel (the voice of the Queen).  She is an amazing singer/actress that originated roles on Broadway in Rent and Wicked.  She blows my mind and can move mountains with that voice...I was hoping she could move a mountain or two for me.

I was not disappointed...the music, the story...the message of the movie was brilliant. 

Funny enough...several songs resonated in me and mirrored some of my personal feelings along this Journey...But one song in particular really struck a chord in me...Fixer-Upper...This lyric particularly...

We’re not saying you can change her, ‘cuz people don’t really change
We’re only saying that love’s a force that’s powerful and strange
People make bad choices if they’re mad, or scared, or stressed
Throw a little love their way (throw a little love their way) and you’ll bring out their best
True love brings out their best!

As they sang this song..(the trolls)...I thought...I AM a Fixer Upper...

Have you ever watched one of those home improvement shows...You know..the ones where the take an old, dilapidated, outdated, worn out home...practically strip it to the studs only to invest tons of time, energy and money into rebuilding into something better...a new, revitalized, vibrant home!

That is what this Journey is for me...I am taking a body that is tired, overwhelmed and dilapidated and trying to create a new vibrant home.

If you have ever watched one of those know that at some point in almost every episode there is a moment when something occurs that did not make the original budgetary plan or blueprint...The roof leaks, the plumbing is old or the wiring is bad...etc...This issue always costs more money...requires more time and pushes people to the limits of their patience. Anger...frustration..even tears are shed during this part of the show..

I guess you could say...I have some  faulty wiring...I have hit that big, unexpected road accounts are overdrawn and my blueprints are a bit useless... this point in the show...all seems lost...BUT..the show goes on...adjustments are made and the Final Reveal occurs...and there, in that 30 minute show...A  Fixer-Upper is purchased...ripped apart and put back together to make something beautiful...The beginning is filled with fun possibilites...the middle is laborious, painful and at times, a disaster...and then, The Final Reveal...

So...I am having a hard time visioning the Final Reveal of my Journey...

I am having to rely on the Faith of others...a competent set of Contractors who Believe in the Beauty of the Fixer-Upper...even in the middle of the disaster  that is called the Rebuild!

Lastly...If you only ever do ONE thing I suggest here in this place...Do  this...GO SEE FROZEN!!

Take your Kid Heart, Your Grown Up Mind and the willingness to see all of the wonderful wisdom in this fairy tale!

Here is one thing I know...this movie teaches that we all have a little Fixer-Upper in us...some more than others...but as the song says:

Throw a little love their way (throw a little love their way) and you’ll bring out their best
True love brings out their best!

Remember....true love comes in many  different forms...and this Movie...even has a little twist on the idea of True Love!!!

Do yourself a favor...Go see will melt your heart!! 

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Get Your Mind Straight...Your Body Will Follow

I am still here...

Wish I had adequate words to fully explain what the hell is happening...AND bottom line:  I just can't.

I further wish I could share with all of you the amazing love and support I have received...Not that I have not ALWAYS received amazing love and support from the beginning...but given my recent melt many of you have taken the time to let me know this Journey is worth the fight.

My family, my close friends, people from all facets of my life...have really stepped up and shared their wisdom, hearts and encouragement. I am grateful. I need it now...more than ever.

I received a few comments that made me laugh...which is nice!  I received many that made me cry and I received a few that were just a perfect combination of love, wisdom and pure, sweet ass kickers!

I love having strong people in my life...Here is just a small sampling of some comments that pretty much kicked my butt/made me a good way!!

"don't be so hard on yourself. You are human! Now, pick yourself up & brush yourself off and know that you are wrapped in the loving arms of The Lord!! Prayers abound!!"

"Jaime, have gotta keep workin' it so you can twerk it. LIVE, LOVE, AND ALWAYS LAUGH♥"

"All my love, a big "you got this" hug and a kick to your ass. Get your mind straight, mama.  Your body will follow.

"Now girlfriend - you have come too far. Take it day at a time. But REFOCUS! Nothing to be ashamed of. We all lose sight of goals and we just say: Jesus, take the wheel! Love ya. Keep the faith. God is good ALL THE TIME!"

Trust me...all of your comments make me think and fill my heart.  I love the diversity of the above comments...the list includes...a Coach and one of the strongest Christians I know, A cousin who is beyond an Overcomer, A friend/former co-worker  and one of the smartest, funniest people I know AND my favorite Olympian!

Lastly before I go...Last night...I had the opportunity to sit between (literally) two friends that have greatly impacted my life...One who has been a wonderful blessing for the last 20 years and one who has been a beautiful blessing and a gift during the last year.

The experience filled my heart...reminded me how much God loves me and forced me to be present , honest and open. 

Both love me for who I am and both support me in being a better me...Both make me laugh, cry and think!  You gotta love that! 

You both know who you are and I love you both...

I got out today...walked a couple of miles...took a selfie...One step at a Time...

I am relying on Faith...I still struggle with being embarrassed by this melt down...but...shame is only detrimental to my progress...I am still Asking, Seeking, Knocking...and praying...a WHOLE Lotta Praying.

Thank you for your patience with me...I can be a real pain in the ass! Definitely,working on gettin' my mind STRAIGHT....Love that!!!

I still Believe the following:

I can Do ALL Things through Christ who gives me strength!  Phil 4:13

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

UNDER the Bus or ON the Bus?

So...some of  you may have noticed that I took a break...others may be grateful that I took a break!!  A feeble attempt at a little self-deprecating humor. is the bottom line.  Things are not so great. My struggles...despite my repeated efforts to overcome...have to some extent knocked me down.

I have told a few people today and have most definitely said it here before...Weight Loss is least not in the realm of my experience..about Diet/Exercise solely...It is about surrendering, releasing, reversing, re-learning, relenting and recuperating (to, from, over, under...whatever applies) ALL of the life shaping moments that have gotten me here...Fat, sick and overwhelmed.

Trust me...I know that GOD is still driving the bus...I am just feeling more like I am UNDER the Bus instead of ON the Bus.

So Sunday was a weird day...Truthfully...some big things happened...moments of unsolicited enlightenment that I DID NOT sign up for!!

The Reader's Digest Version...Sunday happened...I went headlong into a downward spiral...decided I did NOT have what it takes to do this and stopped...

Every moment since then has been about pulling myself out of the spiral...right the ship and move forward.

I am a work in progress (or lack thereof.)

Honestly...telling that truth here is killing me...I am ashamed, tired, pissed off and clearly grouchy about it!

So...having said that...I am attempting to Act As IF...As IF I can do this...I have no idea if that is true!

I am not sure I can post daily until this I am choosing to selectively post.

I still appreciate the support, the love and if you read this...Please Pray! I know I am.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

The Purge

Hi...Lovely Saturday here...

Pain more manageable today...Food...not so much.

Did a lovely walk with my friend Donna and the white beast...Riley!

Burned a couple hundred calories...enjoyed the Sunshine and the conversation.

Tonight...Christmas in January with our dear friend Nettie...we exchanged gifts...and enjoyed a 3 hour dinner!! Good company..good friends...good food...of course!

I am still having some struggles with pain...but I am excited about starting this cleanse...I am looking forward to feeling like my old...younger self! 

Tomorrow I will shop and prepare for the PURGE!

Actually, this whole process is a purge of sorts....the more I purge, the better I feel...the more space I have in my brain..the more room I have in my heart...the more blessings I receive and the more of a blessing I can be...AND... the more I PURGE...the smaller my pants, I got that going for me...

Here is a pic from tonight...goodnight!

Friday, January 17, 2014

Go With The Flow sugar coating...just having a really rough day physically. 

Functioning...praying...breathing...ready for the weekend.

My action for today will be to go easy on something that makes me happy...take it easy...breathe easy...just easy peasy. is a beautiful day...I left the office at lunch...went to my favorite girly store (Magpies)....had a little Thai food...just got some air.

Would love to be sitting by the ocean...just breathing. 

I am using my imagination instead....hearing the crashing waves...feeling the salty air...just enjoying the ebb and flow...

Today I need to go with the flow..not against it.  Just roll with the tide and just allow myself to rest in God's creation.

Wishing you a peace-filled day here in God's creation.


Thursday, January 16, 2014

Therein Lies the Beauty of Life

Overcoming fear doesn’t happen instantly or automatically. It is the result of deliberate intention, and conscious action towards doing things that scare you.
The best thing to do when confronted with anything is to view the situation with objectivity and an open mind. Be honest with yourself, too.

The interesting thing about overcoming a fear is that you need to believe that you can do it. Nothing kills a dream more quickly than doubt.

What usually prevents people from taking a risk is the fact that the outcome is not guaranteed. None of us are able to predict exactly what the future will bring. Therein lies the beauty of life.

(Overcoming Fear by Nadia Ballas Ruta).

I stumbled across the above excerpts from a blog post today about Overcoming Fear...good words...good I posted them here for a reference later when I forget!! the midst of moving through this part of my Journey...I am making an additional that I am choosing to not get into here...but.. will in due time.  Though I will share that I think it COULD have a positive impact on my weight loss and my confidence.  I really don't mean to be cryptic...I just am not ready to chat about it yet.  But, I am asking for prayers...prayers that this decision...this truly in line with this Journey.

Today..I had the opportunity to share parts of this Journey with a friend that I have not seen in a while..she was kind enough to sit patiently and listen to my ramblings...I am grateful to her for that...because after lunch...I was energized and reminded once again that I really have traveled a long damn way...and was reminded that is so important that I finish...

I don't really consider myself OCD...I do not require an immaculate living me...I call my car the "Rolling Dumpster", I use public restrooms, I am NOT a profound creature of habit. However, in the middle of the night last I lay thinking about a million (non-existent) scenarios of how my day, my week, my year, my  life...might go...I thought...I just might have a few tendencies...

I am an obsessive thinker...So...I try to pray in the midst of these obsessive moments...THAT is a interesting me.  INSANITY!!!  I pray..interrupt myself, start praying again...more get the picture!!  As you might can be a draining, tiring and at times...quite painful.

I have come to realize that this part of me is a driver of my late night eating.  Again...the food serves as a comfort or I have progressed along on this Journey...I have to consciously choose NOT to eat away my to speak...but at the same time...I am having to learn how not to let my thoughts eat away at  me.

So today...I woke up tired and uninspired!!!

I literally prayed ALL the way to cell phone...NADA...the only thing going on was a conversation with God....a conversation that really was about asking for relief, for clarity and for strength. I prayed for the knowledge that I am in fact, still moving forward...

I get to work....still feeling tired and uninspired....

First, I have a conversation with my sweet friend Lindsey...reminding me that I though the scale may not reflect this... that throughout the last year..."I have gotten my life back"....

Secondly, my precious friend Camille (a friendship born as a direct result of this God driven Journey) sends me this song that so touches me that I sit at my desk and cry...

Farther Along by Josh Garrels

Video with Lyrics-Farther Along

Farther along we'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why
So, cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We'll understand this, all by and by

Tempted and tried, I wondered why
The good man died, the bad man thrives
And Jesus cries because he loves 'em both
We're all cast-aways in need of rope
Hangin' on by the last threads of our hope
In a house of mirrors full of smoke
Confusing illusions I've seen

Where did I go wrong, I sang along
To every chorus of the song
That the devil wrote like a piper at the gates

Leading mice and men down to their fates
But some will courageously escape
The seductive voice with a heart of faith
While walkin' that line back home

So much more to life than we've been told
It's full of beauty that will unfold
And shine like you struck gold my wayward son
That deadweight burden weighs a ton
Go down into the river and let it run
Wash away all the things you've done
Forgiveness alright

Farther along we'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why
So, cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We'll understand this, all by and by

Still I get hard pressed on every side
Between the rock and a compromise

Like the truth and pack of lies fightin' for my soul
And I've got no place left go
'Cause I got changed by what I've been shown
More glory than the world has known
Keeps me ramblin' on

Skipping like a calf loosed from its stall
I'm free to love once and for all
And even when I fall I'll get back up
For the joy that overflows my cup
Heaven filled me with more than enough
Broke down my levees and my bluffs
Let the flood wash me

And one day when the sky rolls back on us
Some rejoice and the others fuss
'Cause every knee must bow and tongue confess
That the Son of God is forever blessed
His is the kingdom, we're the guests
So put your voice up to the test
Sing Lord, come soon

Farther along we'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why
So, cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We'll understand this, all by and by

THEN...I have to the opportunity to share...share the miracles of this Journey with another human being...

The day ended up being filled with opportunities, to receive and to acknowledge the miracles of this Journey.

I continue to experience growing I move away from the constraints I have placed on my life...I continue to have questions and wonder how it will all work out...but as the song says above...

So much more to life than we've been told
It's full of beauty that will unfold

Farther along we'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why

Tonight I am praying for a peaceful mind, a grateful heart and for the comfort of knowing that a world of beauty lies ahead.


Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Starting Where I am!!!

OK...So today is the Day...

The Day that I post my 2014 Starting Point! 

My head is swirling with thoughts that I would like to write here...but One sentence keeps coming to the forefront.


Far from where I want to be...But farther from where I was!

So just like any part of this Journey...I am excited and I am afraid. 

I have read lots of interviews, articles, biographies of people who have obtained high levels of it in sports, business, entertainment....they all seem to have a few things in common.  Each credit people in their young life that impacted their success and who they are...many have overcome some significant challenge that represented a turning point in their own Journey...and many talk about Fear...overcoming it...not having it...being motivated by it, etc...

Fear is one of my biggest obstacles.  Fear of failure...Fear of embarrassment...Fear of Pain...Fear of Fear!!!!!

Though it does not paralyze me or keep from moving forward most days...It does take up a bunch of space in my brain!  You regular readers know what I mean!! 

If you could do a search through all of my 519 posts (520 with this one)...I am betting that Fear is one of the top 5 words I use in my posts...

It is something I battle everyday...on some level.  I don't mean that I am consistently horrified at every tick of  the clock...but I know that many of my days are impacted by anything from nervousness (fear)...worry (fear)...or just plain ole unadulterated horror (exaggeration).

It is one of my biggest challenges as I work to accomplish this goal. you might have guessed by now...One way that I am hoping to combat fear is by staying in ACTION...the kind of action that I have spoken of recently. 

This week...I am trying to keep my focus on positive, forward-moving actions. 

After my "break" for the holidays, I am painfully aware that working out is harder than it was before my break which of course..prompted a fearful response from me...

  • So to combat the shame/fear I have had for falling off the workout wagon...I have to start where I am!  I am walking...increasing workouts when I can...but most importantly I am Moving! 

Of course...I have tremendous angst about my battle with food...eating right...eating the right amounts...managing cravings...etc...

  • So...I am starting where I am...I have chosen to slowly cut out the bad...add back in the good and have given myself space these last few weeks to prepare for starting the "cleanse" on January 20th.

Strangely, one of my biggest challenges is getting rest...consistent rest.  I am good at running like a mad woman and then crashing...trying to recover in a short period of time...only to start the cycle again...
  • So I am starting where I am...a night owl...activity junkie...who REQUIRES rest and consistent rest at that!!  So I am staying in Action by going to bed earlier (simple enough)...only I suck at going to bed and I suck at getting up!!!  And...I am doing it...not perfectly...but doing it! 
Of course...Eating Right, Working Out...Getting Rest...all seem to be integral parts of getting healthy and in my case, important for losing weight. 

There is another piece for me...a prevailing theme in this Journey. That, of course, is Faith...having it, living it and doing that consistently!

  • So for 2014....I am starting where I am!  Flawed, Fluffy and Fearful...but Healthier...Hopeful and Happier! I post my "new" Progress Tracker 2014, I have the form of embarrassment and some disappointment in myself and I am horrified at disappointing those that inspired this Journey, support this Journey and Believe in ME!!  Here is what I decided...even as I write this post. 

This blog is about a real weight loss Journey...and it is even more complicated by the fact that it is MY weight loss Journey...I knew from Day One that this blog would not be just about cool recipes, workout plans and my beloved favorite quotes...

No, it would be packed with all of the details...all the gore about those things that make me fluffy...the realizations of those things that have kept me sick...the at times, repetitive...maybe even mundane details of the truly DAILY journey...

I don't know about you...but Daily Anything is a Lot of Something!! 

But I must say...along with all of the imperfections I bring daily to the table...Every day since August 2012 has been a lesson in Faith and even with all the fear/drama I can muster...This daily Journey continues to be Blessed.

I know that...even amidst the blasted Fear!!!

 I know that God is driving this ride I am on and I know that God is willing to take every ounce of my fear if I will just Let Go...

So I am starting where I am!  Funny enough...Still inspired by the very same things/people that started this Journey...but oh so amazed at how inspiration continues to manifest itself in SO many different ways!

I could, everyday, write down ALL of the things I think I should say and feel.   I could purport that this Journey is a virtual Merry Go Round of success...Instead...I think it is important for me to be honest.

This Journey has been successful and imperfect.  This Journey is still a Roller Coaster...filled with Ups, Downs...Laughs...Screams...Tears and Joy!  If I had been given a choice...pick the Roller Coaster...or pick the Merry Go Round...I would pick the Coaster...Merry Go Rounds are boring and make me dizzy! :)

I was inspired in a great way and I want to finish this part of my Journey honoring those that have supported, inspired, tolerated, laughed and even cried with me as I take this Journey...But again...being Honest (also in the top five words I use in this blog)...I want to complete this Journey for ME...I want to know what it feels like to Win This Battle!!! 

It will be my Gold Medal Victory...I may even stand on a Podium and Sing the National Anthem...It will have to be a big podium though...Enough room for all... EVERYONE on this fluffy girl's team!!!

So here we go...Let the weight loss commence!!!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014 Have or not to Have!

Hi...Having a rough day today and not really sure words are required!  At least not my words.

So...when I am in a bit of a funk...I like to find inspiration in other's words.  Just to relieve the daily pressure of spilling my fluff ...I decided to do that very thing...turn to someone elses words.

Things You'll Regret When You're Old:

Adapted from an article written by Mike Spohr,  BuzzFeed Staff 
1. Not traveling when you had the chance.
Traveling becomes infinitely harder the older you get, especially if you have a family and need to pay the way for three-plus people instead of just yourself.

2. Not learning another language.
You’ll kick yourself when you realize you took three years of language in high school and remember none of it.

3. Staying in a bad relationship.

No one who ever gets out of a bad relationship looks back without wishing they made the move sooner.

4. Forgoing sunscreen.

Wrinkles, moles, and skin cancer can largely be avoided if you protect yourself.

5. Missing the chance to see your favorite musicians or sports teams.
“Nah, dude, I’ll catch Nirvana next time they come through town.” Or, ‘the Jets will be in the Super Bowl again and I will go then’.

6. Being scared to do things and lacking the self confidence to go for it.
Looking back you’ll think, What was I so afraid of? I was as good as anyone else, I just thought I wasn’t.

7. Failing to make physical fitness a priority.
Too many of us spend the physical peak of our lives on the couch. When you hit 40, 50, 60, and beyond, you’ll dream of what you could have done. Head off older age health problems now. Get in shape and stay in shape.

8. Letting yourself be defined by gender roles.
Few things are as sad as an old person saying, “Well, it just wasn’t done back then.”

9. Not quitting a terrible job.

Look, you gotta pay the bills. But if you don’t make a plan to improve your situation, you might wake up one day having spent 40 miserable years in a job you never liked or were happy with.

10. Not trying harder in school.

It’s not just that your grades play a role in determining where you end up in life. Get educated. Take it seriously or end up in a $20,000 per year job supplemented by food stamps and Medicaid. Eventually you’ll realize how neat it was to get to spend all day learning, and wish you’d paid more attention.

11. Not realizing how beautiful you were.

Too many of us spend our youth unhappy with the way we look, but the reality is, that’s when we’re our most beautiful.

12. Being afraid to say “I love you.”

When you’re old, you won’t care if your love wasn’t returned — only that you made it known how you felt.

13. Not listening to your parents’ advice.

You don’t want to hear it when you’re young, but the truth is that most of what your parents say about life is true. You wont ever get any better advice than you will from your parents.

14. Spending your youth self-absorbed.

You’ll be embarrassed about it, frankly. Life isn’t all about you.

15. Caring too much about what other people think.

In 20 years you won’t give a rip about any of those people you once worried so much about.

16. Supporting others’ dreams over your own.

Supporting others is a beautiful thing, but not when it means you never get to shine. Don’t let helping others hold you back.

17. Not moving on fast enough.

Old people look back at the long periods spent picking themselves off the ground as nothing but wasted time. Look forward and move on. Wallowing is a waste of time and energy and is unhealthy.

18. Holding grudges.

What’s the point of re-living the anger over and over?

19. Not standing up for yourself.

Old people don’t take crap from anyone. Neither should you.

20. Not volunteering enough.

Do what you can when you can for who you can. Nearing the end of one’s life without having helped to make the world a better place is a great source of sadness.

21. Neglecting your teeth.
Brush. Floss. Get regular checkups. It will all seem so maddeningly easy when you have dentures.

22. Missing the chance to ask your grandparents questions before they die.

Most of us realize too late what an awesome resource grandparents are. They can explain everything you’ll ever wonder about where you came from, but only if you ask them in time.

23. Working too much.

No one looks back from their deathbed and wishes they spent more time at the office, but they do wish they spent more time with family, friends, and hobbies.

24. Not learning how to cook one awesome meal.

Knowing one drool-worthy meal will make all those dinner parties and celebrations that much more special.

25. Not stopping enough to appreciate the moment.

Young people are constantly on the go, but stopping to take it all in now and again is a good thing. Learn to live in the moment without thinking about the next one.

26. Failing to finish what you start (especially educational pursuits).

“I had big dreams of becoming a nurse. I even signed up for the classes, but then…”

27. Never mastering one awesome party trick.

You will go to parties in your life. Wouldn’t it be cool to be the life of them all?

28. Letting yourself be defined by cultural expectations.
Don’t let them tell you, “We don’t do that.”

29. Refusing to let friendships run their course.

People grow apart. Clinging to what was, instead of acknowledging that things have changed, can be a source of ongoing agitation and sadness.

30. Not playing with your kids enough.

When you’re old, you’ll realize your kid went from wanting to play with you to wanting you out of their room in the blink of an eye.

31. Never taking a big risk.

Knowing that you took a leap of faith at least once — even if you fell flat on your face — will be a great comfort when you’re old.

32. Not taking the time to develop contacts and network.

Networking may seem like a bunch of crap when you’re young, but later on it becomes clear that it’s how so many jobs are won.

33. Worrying too much.

As Tom Petty sang, “Most things I worry about never happen anyway.”

34. Getting caught up in needless drama or in someone else’s drama.

Who needs it? It ends up sucking the life out of you and wasting precious time.

35. Not spending enough time with loved ones.

Our time with our loved ones is finite. Make it count.

36. Never performing in front of others.

This isn’t a regret for everyone, but many elderly people wish they knew — just once — what it was like to stand in front of a crowd and show off their talents.

37. Not being grateful sooner.

It can be hard to see in the beginning, but eventually it becomes clear that every moment on this earth — from the mundane to the amazing — is a gift that we’re all so incredibly lucky to share.

I am not too big on regrets...everybody's got em...though some don't like to admit it!  I think the key for me is not to LIVE in regret..

"Regrets...I've had a few...but then again...too few to mention" (google it) Chuckle!!!

Truthfully...I kinda half-assed read the above the first time I received the email.  Then...In a moment of shirking my responsibilities...I read this more thoroughly.

Some made me think...Some made me smile...Some made me think about amending my "Bucket List"....
Some...Well,some I need to re-read and apply to my life...

I am a living example of the consequences of #7...I could use some work on #15...#29 puts a knot in my stomach and #33 worries me...:) is never too late...I am learning to live that!  Today is a Battle...but tomorrow may be a Victory!

God Bless you all!!!

Monday, January 13, 2014

Suck It Up, Buttercup

So...I was perusing through Pinterest over the weekend and came across the following:

I laughed...and thought...there is some truth to that for me...There are times when I need to Suck It Up, Buttercup.  The addition of the Buttercup part softens it a bit for me...making the whole idea of Sucking it Up a little more doable. 

So this is a difficult post for me...largely because I am going to tell MORE truth...and you know what they say...The Truth Hurts...but it will also set you Free!!!

So I have been busily avoiding posting my weigh ins in recent months...some of it was pure negiligence and some was accidentlly on purpose!!!

One of my issues is that with the ups and downs of losing/gaining/losing/etc...I found the idea of weekly updating my weight and weight loss total overwhelming.  Trust posting my progress weekly has served a great purpose...and in the 2nd year of this Journey...I need to revamp things a bit to better encourage this Journey for me.

So...I lost 68 pounds from August 2012 to roughly August of 2013...then began the ups and downs...I am not going to spend any significant time analyzing why...I think there are multiple reasons...However, as 2014 began...It seems like a natural starting point for a change in how I monitor my progress. 

So that means...I will be posting my weight at the minimum of Once Monthly and I will be posting inches lost.  I will add this section to the blog on Jan. 15th. 

I will be starting the 28 day Cleanse on Jan 20th ending on Feb 16th. 

In late Feb/early March...I, along with a few others, will be having a 'reunion climb' of Enchanted Rock...only this goal is to make it up and back down...2X.

There will be additional Mini-Goals in Feb TBD!

I am hoping to get a long hike done in the next few weeks...still trying to determine the where, whens and such!

So...Today...I am actively fighting the inactivity..the part of me that says this goal is NEVER going to be why bust my butt!!!  Instead I am choosing to prayerfully come up with a Plan...

Action speaks louder than Words!!!

So this Sucking It Up!!!  Forging Ahead...Praying, Asking, Seeking and Knocking!!!

Sunday, January 12, 2014

A Person of Action

Happy Sunday!

Today...I am doing my best to stay in action...actively seeking God's will.

I went to lunch...and am now having my quiet time...reflecting, focusing on the week ahead and praying for God's guidance.

My prayer for this week is to be in Action.

I at times, confuse being busy with being in action.

Being busy can be a distraction...a whirl of semi purposeful activity...with no defined ending or goal.

Action is a purpose driven movement that leads to an accomplishment of a specific goal.  An Act of love, kindness...a daily step in a forward action is defined and has a beginning and an least for me.

As I continue to struggle. ..I am clear that for me...being "busy" does not mean I am moving forward.  As I pray for the strength to be a person of action..I will ask for the knowledge of God's plan, I will seek the strength to follow His plan and I will open the new doors, embrace the new joy and welcome all the opportunities I am given.

I hope you will forgive my repetitive speech.  I need to write these words as often as an effort to actively change my hope to truth.


I guess CXWORX. ..WORKS!

My little victory over the last several days is that I worked out 3 of the last 4....even though I did NOT exactly bound out the door...I still got it done.

Please keep this Journey in your prayers.

Here is my co-author for today!

Saturday, January 11, 2014

COOKIES and Crunches!

So I was up and ready to bust the fluff at 8:00 AM!!  Ready to take on CXWorx...whatever that is...

So my Lindsey Lou (not really her middle name)...met me at the Y and we prepared ourselves for the unknown...30 minutes of potential torture. we walk in the room...there on the left is a table with COOKIES...


What the hell is that about? class with cookies...this is either where the torture begins...OR...the Best Fitness Class Ever.

Is this a test of willpower...or a taste of heaven?

So I thoughtfully abstained...and willingly stepped into the room...cookie free and ready for my 30 minutes of torture!

So this turns out, is largely about "core strengthening".  Mat work...crunches, oblique work, back, planking...a lot of time on the floor!

Words like squeeze, hold, squat and lunge were thrown around like beads at Mardi Gras.
Let me be frank...I have a whole lot of "stuff" to squeeze and crunch AND...holding all I got going on off of the ground with only two arms is a deadly proposition.

I was actually grateful for the squats and lunges.

But you know...I did it (mostly)...without extra arms and without tossing back a few cookies...

I even walked 2.5 miles afterwards....burned some solid calories today!

So now...I'm done...the flab has flopped...Tomorrow....a new day...a new muscles to cramp!

Have a lovely evening!

Tell somebody you love something nice...keep moving forward...

Ask...Seek ...Knock! Blessings

Friday, January 10, 2014

A Lift...A Laugh...A Boost


The end of a busy work week...and my hope...the beginning of a fluff busting weekend.

Honestly...I am really just a little brain is full!!!  This Brain is Full!!!!  

So...short post tonight...

Thank you to ALL of you that sent messages of encouragement this week...Funny thoughts, cool videos...stories of others success in battling the bulge...ALL of it provides me with a lift, a laugh, a boost, and just the right amount of PUSH I need to take on this challenge.  Thank you for your important!

Thanks to Karen for this special message...Really Perfect! 

Thanks to Kerri for the sweet pic of those precious angels!  The perfect way to end a day!
Thanks to my Mama for be willing to "eat clean" with me for the next 30 days!!
Tomorrow is the CXWorx class...and I will let you know IF I will be thanking Lindsey for that idea. :)

Oh...and I DID workout last night...Despite the BLAHssss!!!

I continue to ASK...SEEK and KNOCK. 

For everyone who asks, receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, it will be opened." Luke 11:11

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Battling the Blahs

I have the BLAHsssss!!!

So...I am sitting here making my self write this post...because I really just want to go T.V. and go to bed. 

However, I absolutely have to workout tonight.  Forced Motivation! 

I cannot give in to the Blah's...not an option...

I am thinking that if I write this post like I am some bad ass...who will rise above the evil Blah's...then maybe it will happen!

So...I am going to Pretend Like I am Motivated...Pretend Like I am unstoppable...Pretend Like the Blahssss are a thing of the Past...

I DO NOT feel TIRED...OR BUMMED. Instead I am Grateful, Fired UP and Blazing a trail to the gym!!!

NOW....I must repeat the above as many times as necessary to believe it!!!!

For right NOW...Here is what I can tell you...I am Still Here...Still Fluffy and Still Forging On!!!

An Extra Prayer could be helpful! I NEED All the Help I can get to:

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Faith over Faithlessness

Wow...Busy day!!!! 

One of those days when keeping all the things I juggle from hitting the ground is a challenge. God knows I hate it when I drop a ball!!

So...I am choosing not to fully disclose all of the events of my day (you can thank me later)...but lets just say that I took the opportunity more than once today to Pray before I Spoke. 

Now that may not sound like a big deal...but trust me...its a Big Deal.  I have been known to, on more than one or more than one hundred occasions, to let my pie hole open and be completely unmanned by any responsible human being...and certainly not with the benefit of prayerful consideration.

But was important that I choose to ask for guidance and not leave myself alone with my own to speak. 

Telling the truth thoughtfully, conscientiously, with respect and with grace is what I aim for..but very often miss the mark.  I was presented with the opportunity to tell my truth (opinion) today.  I was asked to do so...Risky proposition for those asking...

Before I opened my mouth....I prayed.  Actually....I prayed in advance of the conversation knowing full well that I may be asked to discuss some sensitive subjects.  I took a deep breath, and actually remembered that I was not in charge and that a power much greater than myself was the one in charge.

So...that my friends...was a little miracle for me...I was in a situation that makes me nervous, where I am asked to and feel obligated to be, honest and real, where I am in charge of doing the talking...AND actually remembered and followed through with a prayer for my words to be inline with God's plan for me...that my words be as graceful, respectful and thoughtful as possible.  It was a decent little miracle!!!  :)

It wasn't perfect...but it was far from a disaster...and the cool part for that I was able to let go of the outcome and just trust that I ask for God's guidance and the outcome is in fact, in His hands. 

I truly work very hard to apply that kind of faith to this weight loss...and admittedly, I have  days where I trust the outcome is in God's Hands...and I have days when I feel completely alone in this weight loss battle...Faithless

So for was an act of choosing Faith over Faithlessness...a day that I outwardly trusted that my imperfections are cured by God's Perfection....without hours of fretting, doubting, worrying, drama...drama...drama...

So everyday...I will ask, seek and knock for more of these miracle moments. 

Before I go...I received this from one of my youngsters...Lindsey a week or so ago......Inspirations sent from one of the miracles in my life!

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

A Fluffy Girl Can Survive

Well...after a 19° morning here in the Yukon of the Gulf is a balmy 40° tonight.  Downright hot!!!

SO...I rolled out of here this morning looking like Nanook of the North...even had those nifty hunters hand warmers stuffed in my gloves...Stuffed and Fluffed.

By this this evening...I stuffed my fluff into my new running leggings, beanie hat and hoodie...and guilted my pal Donna into going with me on a nice brisk walk in the neighborhood!  I GOTTA GET MOVIN! pal Lindsey (my own personal Jillian Michaels) has convinced me to do a new fitness class called CXWorx.  We will be doing that on Saturday morning!! Let's hope a Fluffy Girl can survive!

So...I am still here...still slowly gravitating towards a less fluffy...more healthy me...

I was talking with a friend about all I hope to accomplish this year...from a mini-goal, Journey 120 perspective.  I have some lofty aspirations...and again I thought...I GOTTA get MOVIN!!

I have lots of pounds to lose...goals to reach...I am going to prove that a Fluffy Girl CAN Survive!

Nite Nite!

Monday, January 6, 2014

Fluffed, Stuffed and Ready to Roll

Happy Monday!!!!!  It is so freaking COLD!

I know it is -15° in Chicago....I know it is sub zero degrees in several states....but It is SUPPOSED to be cold in those is NOT supposed to be 24° with a wind chill of 16° when I have to haul my Fluff N Stuff to work...

One might assume that I have plenty of built in insulating material....that is true in 40° weather...but not this Article Circle, Igloo suitable weather here in my sub-tropical, Home of Humidity city.

So let me say that the concept of "layering" is typically the equivalent of Hell for this Fluffy Girl. had on thermal leggings...pants...socks...2 shirts...wool scarf...hat (stylish...yet functional)...wool coat...and hand warmers...STILL FROZE!

So... My gratitude for for my less than practical love of Winter clothes and the fact that I got to not only wear them this Winter...but wear them ALL AT ONCE! Can I get an AMEN!

I saw the below on Pinterest today...Loved It...Sharing It...

So...It is supposed to be even colder tomorrow morning....Bad News...freezing my butt off before 7:00 AM....Good News....I get to wear the REST of my Winter wardrobe!

Bring it Old Man Winter...I am Fluffed, Stuffed and ready to roll!!!

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Best Laid Plans has not gone as I had planned.  But it did go...the day that is...and I am choosing to be grateful for this day...instead of worrying about my best laid plans.

So my quiet time was spent again...fighting a migraine.  For you migraine know as well as anyone...that triggers to migraine can be mysterious.  Though some of you may know exactly what your triggers are...some of us are still working through the clues.

What I have learned...big weather changes and migraine come hand in hand for me...weird but true. 

So it got really cold here today...and thusly...migraine cometh.

But here is the gratitude..I was able to go to was communion Sunday...which allowed me some time on my knees praying for understanding, praying for others and praying for the courage and strength needed to continue my Journey. 

The opening piano solo was titled "Be Still and Know"....perfect!

Another gratitude...I had the time and space today to completely missing cancelled plans...guilt free rest.  Perfect! time to reflect...replenish...came via a different way...despite the physical was perfect.

Tomorrow is a new day...

For everyone who asks, receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, it will be opened."  Luke 11:11

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Just Do It!

So tomorrow....I am re-initiating my Sunday quiet time and will have structured workout time.

It is time to get back in this pattern.  I have experienced such positive results when I grant myself the needed time to re-focus, refresh and realize that All Things Are Possible Through Christ.

I know that many of you can relate to being busy., family, friends...etc...I must admit that I can at times, be busy for the sake of being busy..."busy" can be an excellent distraction from those things that truly need my attention.

I have taken some time this weekend to rest from the activity.  I made no plans this weekend because intuitively, I knew I needed to slow my roll...give my mind a break and set about on continuing this I said before...deliberately. 

I have not felt physically up to I will just start moving tomorrow....with intention. AND...I will spend some dedicated time being present in my relationship with Christ.

I will create a goal for this week directly related to my weight loss as well.

My Aunt Charlotte has challenged me to lose 10lbs this month...she will be striving for the same goal! So challenge taken...Now, I just have to do it...

To steal from motto for this week is to Just Do It!

Who's with me!!!!


Friday, January 3, 2014

Gotta Get It Going NOW

Hello there...I hope all of you are enjoying the 1st 3 days of 2014!

Today was a migraine day for me...though they are not nearly as frequent as they used to be...they still knock me down. I lights...or action!

Tonight of course, I have treated my malady with Orange and Cotton....Bowl games that is....a little dose of college football to ease the pain!!!

I have taken up residence on the couch along with my "friend" pictured below.  She too, is hibernating....a Loyal Beast! planking today...but I have yet to break the 75 seconds I forge onward...

My faithful Plankettes are still moving forward! GO GIRLS GO.

I am looking forward to getting fully back in my groove...I do have to  push through the complacency a bit and I have to work with what I've got! That can be a fine line...battling my own complacency...listening to my body and making the decision to push or not push...

Back in my softball playing days....we did this cheer before we took the I write this...I can hear it in my head like it was yesterday....

Gotta Get It Going... Gotta Get It Going...Gotta Get It Going...Gotta Get It Going NOW!

I will ASK...SEEK...KNOCK!

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Be Deliberate

So back to business...the business of De-fluffing...My Plan is to gently wean myself off of crappy food...go back to eating lean and healthy and start my cleanse in Mid-January. 

I chose that plan because I wanted to give myself the best opportunity to succeed and here is what I know about myself...I cannot go from 0 to 60...without wiping to speak.

So...I want to take on this cleanse with the same energy I did last year at this time...and I need to give myself a couple of weeks to re-adjust my diet and prepare myself physically and of course, mentally...for the guidelines I will need to follow while on the cleanse. 

I have a couple of programs I considered...however, am sticking to the Standard Process 28 Day Cleanse for January to Mid Feb. 

Once I complete this cleanse, my tentative plan is to do a different program mid-year.  Once I decide what to do...I will post here.

After struggling with germs these last few weeks...I will be easing back into my exercise program..and of course will continue with the 30 Day plank off...I have not done it perfectly and am behind on how long I "should" be planking...I think there is just a bit too much of me to hold up for extended periods of time...but I will keep planking away...

I spent my day at work clearing out 2013 stuff that was no longer needed and trying to get ready for 2014...I am expecting some changes professionally and I am not sure what the future holds...however, I will Ask, Seek and Knock...knowing that God has got me covered.

I would like to take each day of this year with a purposeful step...with intention (preferably good ones) and maybe even a little remedially as I try my best to refocus and rekindle the inspiration that started this Journey.

I can tell you that after feeling less than stellar off and on for the last 30 days...Feeling a BIG motivator for me...Now that I have had a taste of good health...I would like to go back for seconds!!

So I want to:

I want to make an effort to reach my goals (daily),  live as the example of what I want to be (daily)  and strive to love each day for the blessings it offers.
Oh...and I really, really, really, REALLY, want to lose the rest of this FLUFF!!! 
So tonight...I am headed to the grocery store...healthy food time...time to purge the house of crap...and move forward...FORGE ON!!!
And just as a refresher...I am STILL MAWA INSPIRED!!! 
Today, Tomorrow and Onward...I will:

l will ask, seek and knock!

For everyone who asks, receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, it will be opened." Luke 11:11

Happy short work week!!!

Hugs and Love from this Fluffy Girl!!!

Wednesday, January 1, 2014


Day One in 2014...Check....Starting my year being Still....Check...Very Still...Lol!

Nothing today but sleep...more football....oh...and I did get a haircut.

I really just wanted to rest today...prepare for this new year and the rest of my work week by stepping out of the Go...Go....Go...and settling into the Slow...Slow...Slow!

Last church, I received a "blessing" as I left the service.  It was a printed Scripture:

For everyone who asks, receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, it will be opened."  Luke 11:11

It seemed perfectly divine for me to receive this particular just fit for me.

So for this all that I do...this will be my guiding light.  My special instructions for how I pursue this year of my Journey.

I will ask for God's guidance...I will seek His counsel and I will knock on His door.

So tomorrow starts my re-commitment to this goal.  I will take this Journey...One Day At A Time...maybe even One Moment at a Time...

I know that I can do this because I am surrounded by people who believe that I can...because I am surrounded by prayers and I can do this because I already have done it before.

l will ask, seek and knock!

I look forward to taking this Journey with all of you!  My hope for all of you is that you too...will Ask...Seek and Knock.

So Long 2013...Hello 2014

2013 is in the BOOKS... 2014 has officially begun...and I am ready.  Ready for another year of amazing new adventures, challenges conquered, pounds lost and prayers answered.

I started tonight...the celebration of tonight, at a special church service I have attended for many and on.  It is called a "Burning Bowl" service and the purpose is to still in God's presence and consider all that you would like to give over to...or release to God.

There is a brief message. ..some really good music...a time of quiet meditation and reflection...then we write down ALL of things we want to Give to God...once that is done...there is processional up to the altar and we drop our piece of paper into a fire. ..ceremoniously giving our worries...fears..."stuff" to God.

Now I must admit. ..the first time I attended this service...close to 20 years ago...I thought it was a bit out there...odd.  But over the is something that really has given me an opportunity to outwardly participate in the act of Letting Go and Letting has come to be a very peaceful, gentle way to end and start each year. 

So we attended tonight...Mom, Donna, Bill, Emily and I...tonight...I had several things to personally deliver to God's care...

The music was great...peaceful...I so wanted to share the lyrics I heard them...but I have not been able to find them.
SO...what I can tell you is that the music really resonated with the part of me that appreciates and understands the need to be still in order to connect with God.
The part of me that benefits from stepping out of the chaos of needs...etc...really heard a reminder that I can thrive if I just stop from time to time.
For it is in the silence...the stillness...that I find God. 

So as I start 2014, I am ready to focus on those things that promote a better, healthier life.  I am ready.  Ready to learn. Grow on the inside...Shrink on the outside...and Ready to Be Still...Listen and Thrive.

Before I are a few more pics of 2013!