Wednesday, December 31, 2014
It has been another remarkable year and despite the fact that these last few months have been a little more challenging than I would have liked...some pretty unbelievable things happened this year, some pretty amazing people graced my life and some great lessons were learned.
In my commitment to honesty, to myself and to this Journey, it must be said that I have fully embraced "Fat Season" these last few weeks...have been sidelined (more than I planned) by an injury and have let life stress knock me down.
It is no secret that I wanted to make this a one year Journey...I am in acceptance that this is, in fact, a Life Journey...and I certainly have no shortage of wonderful souls in my life whom have worked hard to convince me of that very fact! I get that this "weight loss" Journey long since morphed into a life overhaul...a spiritual Journey, a Journey that would confront my way of thinking and living to the very core...a Journey that would lead me down some pretty amazing, scary, faith-building, physically challenging paths that would leave me thrilled, exhausted, rejuvenated, overwhelmed and eternally grateful at any given moment.
Truthfully, I have come a long way and have a long way to go...the length of a lifetime.
As I write this, my "ye of little faith" brain really wants to focus on my struggles as of late...But...that kind of thinking has no place on this Journey...
I need a reminder and I want to one more time, share some of the most brilliant parts of this Journey...the wonderful adventures, people, words and gifts of my 2014.
No order of any kind...just my random cutting and pasting...
Thank you for every prayer, every encouraging word, every step of the way! You have no idea how it impacts the terrain I am traveling!...how much easier it makes this Journey.
Goodbye to 2014...I am grateful for every moment!
Hello 2015...Nice to meet you. Looking forward to our time together. I enter this year prayerfully, gratefully with a trusting heart and an open mind.
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Do you remember that status option on Facebook....the "It's Complicated" one? Generally intended I think to describe the temporarily or possibly permanently dysfunctional romantic relationship and a short, concise way to vaguely share our most personal relationship in a social media kinda way!
Well...though I have no dysfunctional romantic relationship to be vague about here...I do find myself wanting to apply the "It's Complicated" tag next to my proverbial status update.
As I write this...I must admit I find myself wondering if IT actually IS complicated...or am I just complicating IT!
The latter may be more accurate...but regardless this Complication is distracting, painful and I find myself lost in it.
This complicated situation is bringing out some of my less than stellar traits...prideful ego, anger, and my ability to throw sarcasm like a dagger.
I find myself unsure of how to "un"complicate the situation today...but if I am gut check honest with myself...I do know how to disengage from the complication...I do know how to lessen the stress of this It's Complicated moment.
Pretty clear as I sit here that I, as I said in last night's post, cannot allow myself to be distracted from this Journey....I cannot let old behavior undo the progress I have made.
I must stay true to my goal, to my Faith and rely on my own will power (it is in here somewhere) and to the Power in God's Will.
Not feeling courageous today...but trusting that my courage will prevail...
Today It's Complicated! Tomorrow though, is a new day!
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Today I took a minute to breathe...something I have not been doing lately. And in that moment, I could here this song in my head...
When You wish Upon A Star...Makes no Difference Who You Are...Anything Your Heart Desires...Will Come to You...
IF Your Heart is IN Your Dream...No Request is too Extreme...
When You Wish Upon A Star...
As Dreamers Do..
Your Dreams Come True.
The line that struck me in my gut...is "If Your Heart Is In Your Dream"...
Lately, my head has derailed my heart a bit...stress, unhealthy schedules, tending to other peoples' agendas, getting caught up in unnecessary "Have To's" and forgetting that my health....and ALL that entails...cannot be put on the back burner.
There are consequences for doing so...and I am feeling the effects of those consequences as we speak.
I have to get back to the heart of this Journey... sooner rather than later.
I have to keep my Dream in my Heart and I must keep my Heart in my Dream.
I saw this quote today...I love Other people's wisdom...
At times, I must slow down in order to catch up...
Thursday, December 4, 2014
My thoughts for today:
If there really was a State of Exhaustion...
I'd be Governor!
There is nothing like a friend who is willing to meet us where we are at...and at the same time, be willing to remind us...we don't have to stay there if it sucks...
I got these from my friend Brig today....thanks for the reminder! This is just the kind of balance I need...a little less Pina...a little more Colada!
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
It has been a long time since I posted about a healthy "work-life" balance. In the beginning of my Journey, it seems it was almost an everyday occurrence....that, and my obsession with the whole ups and downs of life "rollercoaster" analogy.
I have battled "balance" this entire Journey...or at least heavily wrestled with it.
It is one of those topics you can find discussed in a million different places on the internet...in blogs, articles, funny internet memes, quotes...everywhere!
I know...because I have read them ALL!
Here is what I have found out...READING about work-life balance is a helluva lot easier than LIVING it.
Here is something else I have learned...having balance is essential to every facet of my life...physically, emotionally, spiritually....
Another tidbit I have learned....when one part of my life is out of balance...the rest of it goes haywire in no time at all.
So...here I sit...out of balance, outta whack...or as I like to say..All Jacked Up!
I would like to post a sign around my neck that reads:
I would like to blame my imbalance on middle aged hormonal crap..or this heinous Aircast boot contraption on my right foot...or maybe even blame it on the fact that I am in the middle of Fat Season and am surrounded by people who are NOT trying to lose big ass amounts of weight...
Sadly...though each of these things mentioned above surely deserve SOME blame...to blame is lame and profoundly unproductive!
So...here I am...stumbling through my Journey to redefine my life...rebuild my health and reinvent and refine this stubbornly, fluffy body! Every Single Day!
After 2+ years...I know that having balance in my life is key...a must have and a must do.
For today...that balance is missing...Not having it...is NOT about my circumstances though.. it is in fact, about my choices. DAMN!
I wonder how much info I can find on the internet about making good choices....we shall see! :)