Sunday, June 30, 2013

Believing the Things I Don't See

Hi there...It has been a busy day...surprise...surprise.  We (Mom, Emily and I) started our day at church...Great Church Service...Good music, Great Sermon...Nice way to start the day. 

After church we took Em home and began the rest of our day...lunch and then headed to the med center to see family (my Aunt Lois's husband Truett) in the hospital.  He is 92 and having a few cardiac issues...but he was looking good and even took a stroll with a cute nurse while we were there...He's still got it!!! 

Mom, Lo Lo and I had some good laughs!! We always do!  That is just one of the many things I love about my family...We can kick some stressful situation butt with our humor!  Ain't nobody got time for no stress...Bring on the laughs!!!

I will say this...on a somewhat serious note...I have an actual physical reaction to being in a hospital...the antiseptic smell, the sight of illness, sadness and miles and miles of white (or beige) vinyl tile flooring...It is just a place I do not like to be.  Almost every time I walk into a hospital, I have to take a deep breath and say a quick prayer....just a prayer for peace and healing and a prayer that I don't puke 5 seconds after I walk in the door!  The feeling usually subsides and I cope just like every one else does...the best we can!

On a positive note...I have not been a patient in a hospital in over 14 I got that going for me!!! :)

After the hospital, Mom and I headed to Rice Village...If you live in Houston..I am sure you have been there...but for those of you that don't live in Houston...If you are ever here...check out Rice Village.  Great shops, restaurants, bars and near the lovely campus of Rice University.  After partaking in dinner and some frozen yogurt, Mom and I took a drive around the Rice of my favorite Houston drives...Beautiful homes, beautiful oak trees, green grass...just really a serene spot tucked away just minutes from one of the largest medical centers in the U.S. and Downtown Houston!  I sound like I am doing a tourism promotion spot!!!  But it really is a neat part of town.

Anyway...that drive was my "me" time for today...Now...I need some rest...Big, Big week ahead!  Need your prayers and I will keep you in mine as well.

Before I go...Today's sermon was about the Gospel of John..this is a verse from John that is so hopeful for me...Jesus is speaking to Thomas (Doubting Thomas) after Thomas acknowledges his belief that Christ is risen. 

This verse challenges the part of me that needs to see to is the things that I  Don't See...that provide irrefutable reasons to believe. 

"Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”  John 20:29

Goodnight!  JLP

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Just Keep Going...Head Up, Heart In It and Faith Forward

Happy Saturday...

I started this day by climbing up and down the banks of Cypress Creek...Got it done before the HEAT was completely unbearable!!!  Tone Tone drove with me for moral support...after that I my climbing adventures...I went to the Y...did an upper body workout, biceps, seated row, chest press, lower back...and then did about 10 minutes on the EVIL STEPPER...

In total my workout today was about 1.5 hours...unfortunately..I was ravenous the rest of the day.  Every once in a while...I truly feel hungry...but am never sure if it is just because I love food...or if my body is actually in need of fuel. 

I find that making the distinction between my addictive tendencies and realistic hunger is often quite challenging!  This is when I experience the most frustration with this process.  So today I ate more carbs than I normally do...and I am aware that will be make me feel hungrier as well.  I decided to end the cleanse after 3 weeks...the no fats thing just does not work as well when I am working out hard.

So today was a mixed bag...big workout...heavier often heard around here...It is What It IS!!!

I have some really great support this week...great thoughts, words of encouragement, etc...

Kerri sent me this last night...out of the blue...

This is an excellent reminder for me...I can forget how far this Journey has taken me in a relatively short period of time...especially if you consider how long it took me to get in the shape I was in 9+ months ago...and Of Course...I have to work at having faith that I have what it takes to complete this task..So as I was drifting off to sleep last night...I happened to look at my phone one last time...and there was this message from Kerri...the above pic with a message that just said "for you".

Today...while I was watching Monster U at the movies (with my Sweet Pea)...I get the following from an old high school friend...

Clearly...this process is going much differently than I expected..but I must Just Keep Going!!!  So thanks Riki for the reminder!!!!
So tomorrow is another day...another opportunity to take one more step toward my goal and to Just Keep Going...head up, heart in it, faith forward!
Love to all!

Friday, June 28, 2013

The Possibilities are Limitless

Good Friday Evening to you!!!  What a busy, exciting, challenging and victorious week it has been! 

I find myself in the middle of tons of things that I have never done before...New experiences, opportunities to share this story of how God can change one middle aged fluffy girl's life in less than one year!  I literally find myself stopping and thinking NO WAY..that this is all happening in my life!!! It seems improbable at the very least and mostly impossible...But the possibilities are limitless!! 

Everyday brings something new...a new experience, a conversation, an accomplishment (both big and small), a moment of clarity, a laugh, new relationships, the comfort of a long time relationship...etc....

The last few days have been full with lots of "growth" opportunities.  At the end of it..the end of another week along this Journey...I feel excited, nervous, happy, new, old (ha), young (truly), rejuvenated, overwhelmed, ecstatic, scared and most of all...very alive!!!

God is giving me new life...He is providing opportunities to experience life on levels that I thought I had long since missed, or passed, or skipped or dodged...hahaha!!!  You name it!!!

So as you might imagine...I am getting VERY EXCITED..because next week I will be meeting Kerri Walsh Jennings...who da thunk it!!!!  I have really tried to reel in my excitement in case for some reason it does not happen...but that is not working...I am actually a little nervous!!! But mostly I am excited..pumped, jazzed, get the picture! 

So...on this late Friday evening...I am going to try to calm my brain....relax...enjoy a few days without the rush of weekday life and reflect on all of the great things happening in my life and all of the great people that I am blessed to have in my life and all of great things I don't even know about yet! 

Blessings for Today:

  • Overcoming fear and trusting God
  • The birthday of one of my youngster co-workers...Happy Birthday Kristen!
  • Dinner with my "peeps"
  • The happy happenstance of "bumping" into a friend who warms my heart every time we speak
  • The opportunity to step out of my comfort zone!
Happy Weekend to all and to all a good night!

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Praying for Calm-Praying for Clarity

Hi there...I hope all are healthy and happy today!

I am struggling this evening...just truly not feeling well.  Unfortunately, there are days when despite my ever improving health...I still have tough days.  Tonight feels difficult.  I truly have so much to do and absolutely need to make sure my body rests. 

I have read so much information regarding weight loss, exercise, etc...and without fail...all state that sleep and managing stress are 2 of the most important factors in losing weight.  I have always struggled with getting enough sleep...but lately (the last few weeks) I have not been getting enough sleep! 

I think that is catching up with me!  And then there is my old pal Stress...yes, as much time and energy as I put into writing about learning to trust God and let go of the challenges that stress me would think that I might have mastered peace, calm and understanding...but alas NO...I have only mastered (HA) talking about those things...doing them is a completely different story.

So I have lots going on...not just everyday life stuff...but things that are hugely important to me and important that I do with some level of skill, integrity and success.  There is a slight possibility that I have more to do than there are adequate hours in the day (and still sleep) I am STRESSED. 

I have probably gained 5lbs while writing this...I get really frustrated with myself for stressing out...which in turn...Stresses me out!!!!  Crazy making really!!! 

So here I am...acknowledging my shortcomings...praying for strength beyond my abilities and writing here, those things that I need to get off of my brain! 

So without going into any details...tomorrow is a day where I will need prayer...prayers for Clarity and Calm and prayers for the ability to fully believe in myself and the person I can be as long as I am in relationship with God. 

Again...this Journey is offering opportunities for growth (and loss) physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I have to keep following that path that God has cleared...I have to believe that path is the only path for me. 

So tonight.. despite my struggles...I am choosing to Believe in something I can't see at this very moment.  I am Praying for Calm and Praying for Clarity.

By his light I walked through darkness. (Job 29:3)

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Clear Path Paved with God's Grace

Good late evening to all of  you...It has been another eventful, glorious, busy, challenged filled, victorious day in this Journey to lose 120lbs!!!!

We are making strides in our efforts to gather donations, silent auction items and services needed for our Play It Forward-Rally To Serve Event!!!  We managed to figure out our printing needs!!!  YAY!!  That was a big deal! 

We still are in need of auction items, contacts for businesses that may wish to donate or be a part of our event in some way.  We are looking for sponsors and we need volunteers to work the event as well! 

Any help is greatly appreciated!!! 

Also...I am looking for volleyball players...If you, your kids, grand kids, friends, neighbors, etc...would like to join us for a FUN volleyball tournament you can send an email to:

The registration fee is $15.00 per person and will include a t-shirt!  Of course, all proceeds will go to both CY-Hope and Good Tidings Foundation. 

All skill levels can play and you do not have to have a team.  We will assign teams if needed.  This event is all about overcoming challenges, giving back to our communities and loving life! 

WE NOW (PLAY IT FORWARD-RALLY TO SERVE) HAVE OUR OWN FACEBOOK PAGE!!!!  Thanks to Lindsey, we are set up and ready to please go check it out..."LIKE" us and please SHARE it with your friends and families.

Part of my day was spent planning a time for climbing THE DUNE with Kerri Walsh...We reached an agreed time to meet...So...if you think of it..Please say a prayer for me at 11:30 AM on Saturday July 6th as I will be motoring up a giant sand dune with a 3 - Time Olympic Gold Medalist...Did I mention she has won 3 GOLD Medals over a 12 year period...seriously...she is a beast!!!

Of course...I did win 6 blue ribbons and 1 red ribbon at my 4th grade Field Day at Lakeland Elementary...just sayin'!

Seriously though, I was excited at the thought of actually climbing this Dune before I knew I would be meeting Kerri Walsh...NOW...I am beyond thrilled and truthfully...a little horrified. 

My biggest fear is that she is going to talk as we climb...and I can promise you...I will be sucking wind...and unable to communicate well!!!!  But I can't wait to talk to her face to face....she has provided so much inspiration and encouragement for me along this Journey...and I really want to say that to her face!!!

Tonight...I am again exhausted...but so clear that this Journey is on the right track...on a clear path paved with God's Grace!!!  I am blessed.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Hard to Hide

It is pretty hard to hide being fat!  There is not enough black clothing, Spanx or minimizing bras out there to disguise the bulge!  Harsh but true... not to say that large women and men cannot dress well and look good...Truthfully, most of how we look is reflected in how confident and comfortable we are with our bodies, regardless of size. 

For me...what is on the inside far outweighs the weight!  However, I am aware that is not REALLY true for everyone...some people make no bones about how they feel about overweight people...I have personally known people who admittedly are disgusted by heavy folks.  I have known other people who are a little more subtle...but still are "bothered" by a person carrying more weight than normal. 

Being fat...well, I have been blatantly confronted about my weight...I have been subtlety judged by my appearance and I have been loved for what is on the inside with no regard to my appearance.  All have taught me something!

It is so much easier to focus on a person's outsides than to take the time and energy to understand and see their insides.  Despite how difficult it is to hide the "fat"... the reasons for the "fat" can be completely hidden...undetectable to the naked eye even undetectable to the person carrying the extra weight.  It is so much easier to only see what is right in front of us...and it is so difficult to hide extra pounds.

 So I am having a conversation with a complete stranger today...We were discussing a business matter and she asked me a question that led to my acknowledgement that I am currently smack in the middle of this weight loss Journey. was one of those situations that immediately after I told her (just the basics) of this Journey that I thought...CRAP!!!  OVERSHARE!!!  But she said the following to me (I'm paraphrasing)...It is important to be honest..."I don't like to hide parts of myself, I prefer to be honest" 

It is hard to hide the truth...isn't it!  It takes a lot of work and effort to hide...layers and a matter of fact.

That sentence made me think of how much I have been able to embrace the concept of accepting that this Journey and accept that God is guiding me down a path of honesty...about things that are not always pretty, easy to hear and certainly not east to say! 

The LIGHT of this Journey illuminates a part of my life that I have preferred to confidently ( or not so confidently)  disguise with humor, bravado, plenty of "slimming" clothing and hundreds of minimizing bras! 

Each day of this Journey is like peeling off a thin layer of the times I feel wounded by the revelations and other times I feel completely and totally free!!! 

I once had someone use the analogy that dealing with our history (our emotional wounding) is like healing a burn.  The layers of the burn have to be cleaned and removed in order for the layers of skin below the burn to heal.  The cleansing process can be excruciating but is so necessary for the healing. 

I am grateful for this Journey...even the painful parts!!

OK...before I go...just another reminder that we are looking for silent auction items, donations, any good fundraising ideas for the Play It Forward-Rally to Serve event. 

By the end of tomorrow, we should have an official event page on Facebook.  I will let you know so that you can check it out. 

I must get some rest!  Goodnight my Friends...Be Happy with who you are and don't be afraid to tell your truth!!!

Monday, June 24, 2013

To Parts Unknown

Happy Monday...Well...Would you settle for Mediocre Monday???  I usually feel a little guilty when I am not know!  Kerri Walsh's nickname is 6 feet of Sunshine...impressive nickname...I am pretty sure no one has ever referred to me a 5' 4" of Sunshine...probably not even 2 feet of Sunshine. 

I might be a little too grouchy...too sarcastic at times to be thought of as sunny...but maybe my nickname can be 5 feet of "Fair to Middlin' (google it). :)

Today I am just straight up Fair!  Not feeling too physically fit today!  Feeling a little sickly!  Stayed home today and am hoping that tomorrow is a better day! 

As much as I love what is happening in my life..all the exciting opportunities, new goals, old goals, charity events, "growth" opportunities...etc...There are days when things are just plain hard. 

My sweet Emily learned that today!  She is attending a 2 day, skills intensive volleyball camp.  She has only ever played church league volleyball...and much to my joy...She LOVES volleyball!!! However, today, she was introduced to a tougher, in her words, "more complicated" form of volleyball.  She was disappointed and angry that all of the fun had been taken out of the game she loves. 

She does not like this "kind" of volleyball and is not interested in continuing.  I understand that!  There are lots of things that at times, can be fun, easy, entertaining...etc...that can be difficult under a different set of circumstances.  She is learning a new way of playing volleyball, a more competitive version and truthfully, it IS harder than church league volleyball and it is certainly more complicated. 

So I faced the challenge of listening to her and attempting to explain to her that she was not incorrect AND that I believed that in order to make a fair judgement of what this new kind of volleyball was like, it might be really valuable to hang in there for a bit and see if, once she learned the new parts...the old, fun game is still in there...

As I talked to her...I thought about how true that is of anything.  I find myself facing new challenges every day along this Journey and some of the new parts are very much less than pleasant.  I find myself facing old challenges as well...struggles with the same parts of life that I have been struggling with for years...all of it can look complicated and I can promise you that I have wanted to stick with the fun, easy parts and forget about the new, complicated pieces! is what I am learning...once I "get it"..the understanding of the complicated parts...Once I conquer the "new" challenges...I do find that the fun, entertaining parts are all still there...just in different packaging.  I just have to be willing to step outside of what I know and trust that God will guide me through the unknown parts unknown!!!

I am out early tonight...time for some body recovery time!!!  Good Night, Sleep Tight and May Your Dreams Come True!

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Keeping Pace

Hello....Hello...Hellooo!  The Weary Traveler is very tired but had an enjoyable weekend!  Lots of Driving!  Unfortunately, after all of the eyes feel like they have sand in them!!!

I am going to save the untold stories of our adventure until another day!  Tonight will be short and sweet...

This week is a big week for me...lots of things to get done and some challenges ahead that will need tons of prayer!

Life is really moving quickly for times, I feel like I am several steps behind God as we both move along in this Journey. 

Please pray that I can keep pace, stay on track with my weight loss and put forth my best training efforts for The DUNE!!!  July 6th is just around the corner! 

I hope you all have a wonderful Monday!!!  Hugs and Sweet Dreams!

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Another Small Victory

Hi there...Tone Tone and I are in the New Orleans area...after a long drive...complete with insane traffic and some heavy thunderstorms...but we arrived safely!

Tomorrow I am helping out a friend and then we will spend some fun time in New Orleans.

This will provide a few food challenges....The food in New Orleans is some of my favorite and miles away from healthy...BUT...I am determined to avoid crawfish etouffee from The Gumbo Shop, Aunt Sally's pralines or Beignets from Cafe Du Monde. 

No Bloody Marys, Oysters Rockefeller or amazing french bread!!

New Orleans is a crack house for food junkies....and crack is whack!
So I will get to practice the habits I have been building over the past 9 months!

But...I will continue to learn how to do the things I love without food being the center of attention.

It may sound odd...but it is a very real problem! It is a challenge to conquer with grace...

I did have a fun experience today...I bought 2 shirts from Old Navy....NOT a shop for large sizes...just a store...kinda cool! Another small Victory...but they are starting to add up!!

Sweet Dreams...and Good Night!

Friday, June 21, 2013

But the World Goes Round is Friday!!!  A very lengthy Friday...Summer Solstice...The Longest Day of the Year!!!  It was a good day...lots of laughing today at work...always nice and of course, I like to think that all that laughing leads to weight loss!!! Again...I enjoy laughing my butt off!!!

I need to say something here...This may sound a bit odd...But in the last few days...I know that God is quite busy working in my life!!!  I can FEEL IT!  Lots of rumblings of change going on...trying new stuff, accomplishing new levels of physical prowess :)....big decisions to make!  It is exciting, different and honestly, scares me to death! 

One of my challenges over the past 9+ months is not to FREAK out!  Well...for those of you that follow know that I have in fact, FREAKED out a few times so far. 

Change and I have a checkered past together...I have always been someone who likes to be busy (unless my health altered that part of my personality)...I like some, meeting new people...etc..and though I can be a bit introverted...I like a change of pace...being the class clown and learning new things.  AND...Change scares to my core at times!  Trusting, believing, embracing...those are words that escape my vocabulary during times of big change.  Big Change=Big Fear.  Of course, as a person who believes in having Faith and Trusting God's plan...I at times, find it quite difficult to practice what I to speak. 

As I enter the last few months of the 1st year of this Journey...I am finding that along with the weight much more is morphing and reshaping...not just this body of mine...but the way I experience life, my perceptions, my courage, my faith and yes, my fear!

 Change is Constant and it always will be...I can choose to embrace it or be afraid of it...My guess  is that depending on the situation...there may always be a little bit of both for me...But the World will continue to spin...So as I my body my perceptions change and as my Faith changes...I will pray for acceptance and the courage to KEEP THE CHANGE!!!

When I was a Mom and Grandmother LOVED Liza did I...I saw her live once when I was about 13 or so...She always did this song in her live show...Something about this post reminded me of the lyrics...I could hear Liza singing it in my head like it was yesterday!!!  I used to "perform" this song for my Mom and Grandmother in "private performances"given in our den!!! Complete with Liza's exaggerated choreography.

Sometimes you're happy, sometimes you're sad
But the world goes 'round
Sometimes you lose every nickel you had
But the world goes 'round

Sometimes your dreams get broken in pieces
But that doesn't alter a thing
Take it from me, there's still gonna be
A summer, a winter, a fall and a spring

And sometimes a friend starts treating you bad
But the world goes 'round
And sometimes your heart breaks with a deafening sound

Somebody loses and somebody wins
And one day it's kicks, then it's kicks in the shins
But the planet spins, and the world goes 'round
But the world goes 'round
But the world goes 'round

Before I go I want to share one more thing...a quote that I read today from Max Lucado....

"We don't see the distance of our journey; but God promises a lamp for our feet; grace to help when needed; & his presence till the end"

Thursday, June 20, 2013

The Unexpected Mini Goal

So last night...I did something that I truly don't think I ever thought I would do....I played 1.5 hours of beach volleyball (sand courts at Third Coast Volleyball in Houston)...I REALLY played...well at least to the best of my current ability! 

My co-worker Gavin (a Cali Guy) has been playing league ball there for several years and he invited to come watch his game (at 9:30 PM) and then said we would play some pick up games afterwards.  I got home at 1:30 AM and was covered head to toe in sand...largely because I dove, fell, rolled and flailed in the sand! was one of the most physical workouts I have had and certainly one of the most fun workouts I have along this Journey.

Here is the cool thing though...I did it!  I mean I actually played! It is definitely a different animal than court volleyball and certainly moving around quickly is challenging enough without being in ankle deep sand...but you know, I managed to hang in there...even made a few good plays.  At times, I felt like my legs were going to fall off and at times I was completely exhilarated! Not to mention...I am confident saying I was the oldest chick on the court!

I sent Kerri Walsh a message telling her about the evening and I said that I played 1.5 hrs of 4's...not too bad for an old fluffy girl...She wrote back...Not bad in general and enough of that old/fluffy stuff!!!  She is so very sweet!!! 

As you might guess...I have discovered that I have muscles that I have not used in quite some time...and they are now protesting heavily!  I am seriously sore today!!!!  But feeling quite inspired by the feeling of accomplishment! 

I am feeling like a regular Beach Babe!

This feels like I completed the Unexpected Mini-Goal.  I had no intention of playing with the energy and effort I played last night...mainly because I did not think I was capable of it!!!  So that is what makes the accomplishment so great for me...I did not think it was even possible.
I received the following from one of a fellow "twitterer" today!  I really like it and it very much fits my need for perspective!!!  Thanks Deanna
It's not about who wins or who is the most successful; it's about how much progress you make."

Every single day on this Journey is about progress...Last night was a gift...a butt busting gift...but a gift nonetheless.  And wrapped in that gift were several others...I got to surprise myself...More words of wisdom from Kerri Walsh...she told me to be nice to myself...the way we speak to ourselves is so opportunity to step out of my comfort zone and learning that I am capable of way more than I think that I am...I got all of that in a couple hours...not bad for a Wednesday night!

So today...has been a busy day...I am really keeping this event and the rest of this Journey in my prayers and I hope you will do the same.

God Bless You and Goodnight!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

God's Guidance--Start to Finish-A Rally to Serve

HI there...I hope today has been fantastic for all! 

I am going to take this time tonight to follow up with all of you regarding our fund raising event scheduled for August 24th 2013.

First of all, the event will mark my 1st year into this Journey to change my better my Become a Better Human Being!!!!

As most of you know, this Journey started in a rather surprising way for me.  After having tons of health struggles over the past several years...I was pretty much reduced to dreaming about being active again...So while watching the Olympics in 2012 (probably my favorite sporting event)...I became unexpectedly inspired to make a change...a REALLY BIG CHANGE...I decided to put every effort into losing 120lbs in one year!  In addition to that...I was planning on playing Volleyball again!!! 

As we approach the one year anniversary...I am increasingly accepting of the fact that this is probably going to be a 2 year Journey...However, we are STILL going to play volleyball!!!  BUT...I further became inspired to turn this milestone into a charity give back some of the remarkable blessings I have received over the past 9.5 months.  So...we ( several friends/family and I) have started planning this event.  We have already witnessed some wonderful generosity.  Willowbrook Sports Complex donated the facility that we will be using...with 6 volleyball courts!!!!  All this event will be held in Houston in AUGUST!!!! 

I have several friends who have graciously volunteered to help plan this event and we are wading through the many steps it takes to host a charity fundraiser. 

The Event Name is:

Play It Forward-A Rally To Serve

I  have selected 2 Charities to support:

Cy-Hope Cy-Hope Website- A charity that was born out of the vision of the leaders of the church Mom and I attend. Please take a few minutes to check out the website and see what this organization is doing for the thousands of kids in the Cypress Fairbanks area that are under served. 

I want kids to have the opportunity to make good choices...healthy choices.  I want kids to know that there are people outside of (and in addition to) their family unit that will step up and help when needed.  I want these children to experience being active, learning, teamwork...all in a positive environment.

I also chose Good Tidings Foundation-  Good Tidings Website
This organization, much like Cy Hope, supports thousands of children in and around the San Francisco Bay area.  Using athletics, the arts, and education as a conduit for creating healthy options for kids. 

Now you might wonder why I chose Good Tidings...given that I do not live in California.  Well...I have 2 reasons.  Firstly, for me....geographic location is inconsequential when discussing children in need.  All of these children will be the next generation of leaders, parents, employers, employees...etc...They will be responsible for the care of the next generation of children in  need. 
Secondly, for those of you that have been following along, my inspiration during the Olympics was the Beach Volleyball team and Gold Medalists  Kerri Walsh Jennings and Misty May Treanor. 
As part of the fun of this Journey, I reached out to both via Twitter (yes, I tweet)...and much to my amazement and delight, I have been wonderfully supported by Kerri throughout this entire process. Unbelievably so!!!  Not only did she inspire me to be brave enough to play volleyball again...but her kindness and generosity of spirit has touched my heart and has given me strength well beyond just losing weight!  Good Tidings is a foundation that she supports and that serves her hometown area. 
This is my way of giving back to her.

So...I am asking all of you to be a part of this whatever way you can participate and contribute.  You all have already given me your time and your wonderful support and for that I am eternally grateful and immeasurably blessed. 

Over the next several days and weeks...I will be focusing on this event.  I really want to create an event that lets our community and communities every where know that kindness conquers and with God's help...we can overcome our challenges. 

We need lots of help and support!  For today...I am just going to list a few things that we are really focusing on and trying to check off of our "to do" list.

  1. We need Silent Auction items...Goods, Services, Event tickets, Sporting Event tickets, memorabilia...etc... Examples include:  Gift cards, Car Washes, Home Accessories, Jewelry, Baby items, Toys, Astros, Rockets or Texans Tickets...Sugarland Skeeters tickets...Theatre tickets...Travel related items...anything that might be a good auction item. 
  2. We are looking for T-shirts vendors who might be willing to donate or deeply discount T-shirts for our volleyball tournament.
  3. We are looking for someone who might be willing to do our printed materials for a deep discount or donation.
  4. Of Course....we are accepting Cash donations that will go directly to the charities. 
I know that many of you are super busy and barely have time to read my posts much less solicit items for our event...However, if you do have any contacts or suggestions...PLEASE send an email to the below email address.  Your efforts will not go un-appreciated!!!

As always, I must voice that for me,  ALL of this would not be possible without knowing and trusting that God is guiding this entire Journey....Start to Finish!!!! 

Thank you for all of your support.  Much Love and Blessings,


Tuesday, June 18, 2013

It Takes a Village

Good Evening!!!  Another late night!!!  Today was a busy, productive day ending with a Play it Forward planning committee meeting!

We are busily planning and preparing this event!  Lots and lots to do!  But there is something so energizing about bouncing ideas off of other people in a group!  It is pretty cool to watch the creative process!  I must confess we have a lot to do!  The good news is that it stills like the exact right thing to do! 

We have received our first donations (a total of $750.00) and already have some silent auction items! 

We are in need of lots more though...

These causes are important to me because I believe that in order to grow a healthy child...there has to be a healthy environment, healthy activities, healthy choices available and healthy influences.  I think to myself...these kids really will be adults someday soon and I completely buy in to the idea that It Takes a Village to Raise a Child...I further believe that I have a responsibility to "mirror" the Grace and Love God has shown to me through many different avenues!  My family, My friends, My teachers, My co-workers, My church...even through the acts of total strangers.  If I keep my eyes, mind and heart open...God's Love and Grace are all around me! 

Here is something else that I believe...It Takes a Village to De-Fluff a Fluffy Girl!  Without the love and support of all of you...this Journey would not happen!  That is 100% true for me!  So Thank You!

The next few months are crucial for me along this Journey...I have to sustain my intensity and will need to draw on God's strength and your support if I am going to Forge On and finally meet my goal.  I must stay focused on the things that will keep me on the path to further becoming the best person I can be!

So please keep me in your are always in mine!


Monday, June 17, 2013

Keeping the Hills in Perspective

Hello there...I am sitting in gym...just finished a fairly difficult workout ( I think)...which brings me to my topic tonight....I have had days on this Journey when I feel like I don't know if I am "doing it right"....I actually hear a line from one of my favorite movies....Mr. Mom with Michael Keaton....circa early 1980' my head!  YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! 

I just have those days when what feels like my best effort just isn't quite cutting it!

I am not discouraged...just tired...if I am being honest!  So today...I am suiting up, showing up and hoping for the best...trying to not take myself too seriously!!

I am very aware of how busy I am and I am really making an effort to disengage my brain, stay in prayer and not forget to breathe!!  Yes....I do actually forget to breathe when I am in stress or when I am in pain!! 

I am in an uphill motion I am walking uphill in deep sand....OHHH THE IRONY!  In three weeks, I WILL be walking uphill in deep sand!  So I guess this is a good training day....:)

So....I am asking for prayers...prayers that I keep the Hills in perspective and don't make mountains out of them! Prayers that I hear God's voice over the dull roar of my own and prayers that I trust that God's plan is truly perfect!


Sunday, June 16, 2013

The Complicated Fathers Day

Happy Sunday and Happy Fathers Day!  I hope this day is filled with great fun, love and happy moments with Dads and great memories!

Today is an odd day for me.  Running the risk over disclosing, I will say that I have no memory of celebrating Fathers Day. 
I am sure that early in my life I did...but I just don't remember.
My relationship with my father was damaged very early in my life and I do not have a relationship with him as an adult. 
That is the way it has to be...that may sound harsh...but for me...not having my father in my life was the 1st life changing...God driven decision I have a memory of making for myself.  Trust is,a long, complicated history...but I knew as a child....just as I know now, that ultimately, a greater source of strength would see me through.  I did not have the words at an early age...and at times, do not have them now.
But what I do know now is that I do have a glorious Father and that His influence is interwoven throughout the fabric that is my life...even the ugly, mismatched patches that are often so readily visible.

I also know that I have had the amazing influence of several strong women....including my mother...who picked up the ball that my father dropped and ran with it!

So here are the Blessings on this day...I have a strong family that teaches me daily about love, loyalty, confidence and Faith.  I have the privilege of knowing many amazing Dads, I am a healthier, happier, stronger adult because I was given the choice to not be in a toxic relationship at an early age. And I have a relationship with my ultimate Father.

All of the above...has provided the strength I need to take this Journey head on and trust that I have all that I need to suceed.

Happy Fathers Day to all the Dads and to my #COMBOMOM. 

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Stress Less...Trust More...Train Harder...Climb Higher

Well...I got some rest today!  I needed to replenish the body and rest my mind!

This was a day to just hang out!  I slept in...ate a very late lunch...did a little shopping...worked out...did a little more shopping...had a light dinner and now...I am ready to sleep again!!! 

Again....lots going on in my brain. mind has largely been on how to make the Play It Forward...Rally to Serve event successful.  There is still so much to do and time is ticking away quickly.  I know that I need to keep my focus on the purpose of this give back to my community and the greater community of children that do not have the opportunity to lead a healthy, happy life.

I need to remember that this Journey is God Driven and so is this event.  I am just a conduit!  I need to keep my focus on God's Plan and the purpose of this event will be fulfilled. 

I am excited about the event and nervous too!!!  So I am asking for prayers that each decision made is in line with God's plan and that everyone involved is blessed by the experience.

Tomorrow is Church...and more planning...more training for The Dune and preparing for the start of another wonderful week in this Journey to Light!!!

My goal for tomorrow is to Stress Less...Trust More...Train harder and Climb Higher!!!  In EVERY THING I DO!!!

Goodnight and Sweet Dreams!

Friday, June 14, 2013

LOL's, OMG's and Emoticons...OH MY!

Wow...TGIF...It has been one seriously busy week and this girl is ready for a weekend.

Today...I chose again not to weigh in.  I decided to weigh in at the end of the Cleanse.  I thought it would be more fun (or not) to see my progress at the end of the 28, I needed to stop focusing on the scale so much.  It was really getting to be a time of stress for me! 

Once the cleanse is finished, I will re-evaluate how I will do my weigh-ins. 

I chose to take a couple of days off from working out and will be hitting it hard this weekend.  I was going to do some outdoor training...HOWEVER...Because I live in a Purgatory-like climate...I will most likely be working out INDOORS!!

I had kind of an unusual experience after work this evening.  I attended the funeral of someone that I did not know.  I know that sounds odd..but I went with Donna to the funeral of one of her long time colleagues.  I just went to support her...and left reminded that we are all important to someone...or to several someones and most importantly, we are all valuable in God's eyes.  Despite not knowing the gentleman that passed away, it was abundantly clear that he had a major impact on his family, friends and co-workers.  I learned that he was funny, loved football, loved his family, would tell it like it is and had a wonderfully infectious smile.  I learned all of that in less than one hour. 

It made me think of how many people I meet...just in passing or people that just exist on the peripheral edges of my life...How many of those people would I know so much better if I had (or took) the opportunity to listen to their stories told from the perspective of those that love them most.  How much more would I know if I just listened a little closer, talked a little less and remembered that they too were born a Child of God. 

I came across this today and shared with a friend in an email....I decided to share it here too!

Lately, I have been aware that so much of my communication is via email, text, Facebook, Twitter...etc...I do love that my friends and family are so much more readily accessible in today's technologically advanced culture...But for me, there is something so important about seeing people...looking in their eyes, hearing their laugh, sharing the same space with them...actually being able to hug them Hello and Goodbye! 

In a world filled with LOL's, WTH's and OMG's where emoticons are used to express every human emotion...I relish the moments that I actually get to share a laugh, a hug, a high hive...even a tear. 

Though I love the written word....a conversation, an outward, verbal expression is divine! 

Again...God has reminded me that Life is Precious! 

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Gluteous Goneous...Losing my Butt!

Good Evening...Another busy day in the books!!!  I must apologize in advance..this post may be partially incoherent as I am "brain tired"...For those of you that know me well...or that read this blog often...I am typically not at a loss for words.  I typically do not have any trouble finding something to say everyday! 

Today brain is just zapped!  I attended a retirement party this evening for a co-worker after a very busy work day and that seems to have emptied my brain of any valuable thoughts...

So here is what I can tell you....I managed to pass up cake TWICE today!!!  Tres Leches cake no less!  I managed to eat a salad while surrounded by crawfish etouffee, chips and salsa, calamari...greasy bar food!!  I am making it through the cleanse...not quite as successfully as last time..but I am happy. 

I had another pretty tough workout last night and have become acquainted with a new (for me) evil machine called THE STEPPER!!! 


According to the machine...I climbed the equivalent of 15 stories...BUT...I am pretty sure I climbed to the top of the Empire State Building....

After that...I did 20 minutes on the Evil Elliptical and did an arm/upper body workout...However, when I woke up this morning...I was still Fluffy...LOL!!!! I take this whole world is changing...New experiences, New Opportunities, a closer relationship with God, stronger relationships, renewed health...etc...This below sums up my experience fairly well..

"My world is expanding as my butt is shrinking!"

Actually....if I am being really honest, it should read...My World is expanding as my butt is disappearing.  Because it IS!!!  Disappearing....I have developed Flat Buttitis, Buttocksous Disappearous, Gluteous Goneous...It is true....just be grateful that I am entirely too modest to share any pictorial evidence with you!  You can thank me later!!!

However...there are other "features"...fixtures you might say...that refuse to reduce in size!  I will not go any further...Again, you can thank me later!

So before I go....I am going to leave you with a few little inspiring thoughts...I found these today...


Recall the things that have held you back. And imagine how you now
can get beyond them.

Think of the problems that have frustrated you so. And imagine how
you can now rise above them.

Look at how far you've come. And imagine how far you can now go.
Think of all that you've learned. And imagine what you can now do
with that knowledge.

Consider all you've done in the past year. And imagine what you'll
now be able to do.

You're now in a better position than ever to imagine the very best.
And what you can imagine will lead to what you can be.

-- Ralph Marston

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Strong Like Bull

So I failed to mention last night that I did 3 sets of 200lbs on the vertical leg press + 2 sets of calf presses at the same weight!  I did 3 sets of 10 at 90lbs on the leg extension machine, 3 sets of 10 at 90lbs on the lower back machine...pictured below

AND did crunches...AND did 25 minute high intensity workout (for me) on the bike...I am Kickin Fluffy Butt!!!!

I may be Strong Like Bull!!!!

I am doing everything I can think of to strengthen my back, butt and that I do not make a fool of myself trying to climb the DUNE!!!  I cannot do knees suck...So, I am trying to do anything and everything else that will build strength! 
Again...I am trying to climb THIS!!!

Dear God...THIS IS JAIME!!!!

I will make it though!!! I am betting it will not be pretty...But I will make it!!!!

I am betting I look MUCH WORSE than this poor guy!!!

Poor Dude...I can feel his pain!!! LOL!!!

O.K....I am crazy busy at work and obviously have a lot of "outside" activities happening....So I am really working on focusing on the knowledge that this Journey has been God Driven from the Get Go!!! I am following God's Path! 

"You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest.  Every moment you know where I am." ~Psalm 139:3


Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Lovin Every Minute Of It

Lordy....Lordy....the Fluffy Girl feels way older than Forty (6).

O.K.....It has been a while since I talked about Balance!!  Well...tonight is the night!!  I am suddenly aware that I am getting busier and busier...and busier.

Work, working out, event planning, traveling...not to mention a number of other events!  I will have to keep my focus on taking time to Be Still and Hear His Voice.

Getting enough rest and eating right...not at 10:00 pm (like tonight), will continue to be my biggest challenge!

I am "training" for climbing the DUNE! I am trying to get these legs, back, buttocks ready for the "burn" they are going to feel as I haul my fluffiness up a hill in deep sand....with a World Class Athlete...yep...I may be insane!

Actually...I am completely Pumped!  I still cannot believe all of the absolutely, amazing opportunities and blessings I am experiencing.

I want to enjoy each moment and I will have to maintain a reasonable balance and life pace or I just might miss something!

A blessing or two before I go...

My friend Brigitte for making me laugh off a few pounds last night...and for celebrating my not having take "insilint" for the last 2 months.

Blessed that God has provided the Strength I need to take each step of this Journey and LOVE each moment...even the struggles!

I am lovin' every minute of it!!

Monday, June 10, 2013

Not All Victories Show Up on the Scale

It is MONDAY...I am back at work after a few days off and am quite busy...which is good!  I am posting before heading to the that I can go home and crash!!!  Vacation made me tired!  LOL!!

I am going to post a few photos from the last few days...including the "hill" that I climbed up and down and up and down and up and get my drift! 

Just so you know...The first time I ever went to the lake house for a weekend away...more than one year ago...I could not make it up this hill without stopping to rest....This weekend...I managed to run up this hill...after climbing it up and back 7 times! 

Sometimes the victories don't show up on the scale...

Me climbing the hill...what form!!!!
Me...After climbing the Hill...again...What Form!!!!
It really is mind blowing for me...that I literally could not climb that the age of 45! the age of 46...My Fluffy self is R-U-N-N-I-N-G this hill...Again...God has given me another Do-Over!!!  This Journey has been filled with Do-Overs for me...and I am sure there are many more yet to come! 

Here are a few more pics for your enjoyment. :)

Here is the Hill without me on it!!!

Emily and Riley and Me and My Tone Tone
My Evening Views...Quite Peaceful!
One more piece of the Journey puzzle is in place...One day closer to a healthier, kinder, better me.  One more hill climbed...One more lap taken and lots more to go! 
I am starting Week #2 of the 2nd go round of the cleanse...It is strangely more difficult this time...but I will push through!  I will tell you...After week #1, I already feel differently...better!
Another medical victory...I now have not had any insulin in close to 2 months...NONE!  I go back to the Dr. at the end of July...I will be hoping that I can be meds free by the end of this Journey!!!  That would be fantastic!
I came across this quote today...I don't know who said it..but I love it!
"A single sentence spoken at the right time could change someones life forever. A little encouragement can go a long way."
Thank you all for the "sentences"!  The encouragement does in fact, go a long way!!!
Have a good night.  May God Bless you all!

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Not Dead and Stronger and Thinner for it

Hello to all...Happy Sunday evening!  It has been an strangely long, interesting day.  We, 3 adults, 2 pre-teens and 1 white dog...all had to pile back in the Suburban  and make the 2.5+ hour journey back to Houston! WOWZA!
After having a fun day shopping in Tyler yesterday, we all had to get up early, pack, load the "Burb" and get on the road by 10:00am....all of us had to be back in Houston for meetings, camp packing...etc....So,easy right? WRONGO!

Two cranky girls, 3 task driven adults and a neurotic schnauzer do not make for a pleasant morning!!
Mix that up with Emily falling (at E.R. Now), bad weather and time deadlines...sufficed to say...The Fluffy Girl reached the high end of the stress scale pretty quickly...btw...Emily has a groin muscle strain...and will live!!
So in an effort to re-group, I am having my weekly "me"time, reading and praying!  As I read, I am reminded of the Emotional Roller coaster that I often speak of...I have decided that part of the ups and downs of the roller coaster is not just about the feelings themselves..but the whole act of "living" with them...sharing them with know, all of that good stuff.

But...I have made a fascinating discovery...the emotional roller coaster of one 11 year old and one 12 year old....combined with my roller coaster and the respective roller coasters of 2 other grown women...equals a whole lotta rollin....and not much coastin'! 

Now don't get me wrong...there were mostly ups this past 4 days...but the downs...WOW...the downs were quick and deadly...with very little logic involved.  My Mom tells a story...when she was younger..a little girl and was frustrated, mad, etc...She would tell her Mom..."Don't touch me cause if you touch me you will be touching me!!!  There were several of those moments this weekend!  Several sentences spoken that rang out with that kind of logic! 

Here was the challenge for me...There were many times that I wanted to say...Don't touch me cause if you touch me you will be touching me!!! 

Here is another challenge...being in a lake house with 4 other people who can eat anything they want to!  Man, I have struggled!  I have been thinking today that starting the Cleanse before this trip might have been a slightly bad idea...But as I sit here and write..I am aware of the phrase "what does not kill you makes you stronger"...I got through this weekend...without major lapses on my cleanse.  It has not been perfect...but I did not eat...chips and salsa, cookies and cream ice cream, oreos, enchiladas, spaghetti (my Mom's homemade version), bacon, garlic bread, pizza, fast food, cinnamon rolls, or CAKE...among other things! 

Truth is...I made it through a weekend of fun, laughter, mood own and others and temptations galore. was not perfect...not emotionally, physically or otherwise...but I did get through without the falling back on the typical rationalizations I might have used in the past...things like..."It's just for the next few days"..."I am on vacation", "I don't have any other options"...etc...

I can tell you that being different is hard...however, it is rewarding when I come out on the other side of a challenge and have done it differently that I would have 9 months ago...Trust me, my travel companions would probably tell you that my coping skills were at times, less than stellar..but what they don't that for me...It could have been so much worse. 

I am blessed...God gave me the strength to get through a challenge...a food emotional challenge and  I am not dead and I am stronger (and thinner)  for it!!! 

Despite the challenges, I got to spend time with people I love...on a lake in the East Texas Piney Woods...We all rode out our individual roller coaster rides and hung on while we all rode out the rides of everyone else....They are not dead...and I am hoping they are stronger for it!!!

Tonight...I am shutting down...getting some rest and getting ready for Cleanse Week #2!  MAWA!!!!

I will be posting pics of our adventure...just too pooped to post tonight! 

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Stay Tuned

Hi...I am postponing sharing all of our adventures today!  It is late and I have just a few minutes of cell power!! Stay tuned!!

Friday, June 7, 2013

Weekly "Gut Check"

Hi there and Happy Friday! It is a beautiful day here in Palestine, TX!

I started the day with a pretty tough my sweet Tone Tone made my breakfast shake.  I got up at about 10:00...hung out on the patio...and then put on my workout clothes and climbed the BIG HILL (down to the lake)...7 times!!


After the workout, I was directed to put on my swimsuit by the kiddos and headed to the lake for a swim....more floating than actual swimming!

I needed this time and certainly am needing the "hills" workouts to prepare for next month.

I will attach pics once I am back home!  Not happenin' here!

No weigh in today!  Taking a weigh in break! I am obviously not at home today AND I need a break from the self imposed weekly "gut check"...

Before I go...I am asking for prayers for a friend of mine  who is attending the funeral of a 19 year old young man today...truly heartbreaking.  Another reminder that life is truly something to be cherished.  May God heal the hearts of his parents and brother, his family and his friends!

Hug the ones you love today...

Here is a long distance hug to all of you!

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Climbing TX Hills-Prepping For CALI DUNES

The Fluffy Girl is on a Mini-Vacay!!

Mom, Donna, Emily, Riley, Riley (the dog) & I...headed out today for the lake in Palestine, TX. 

We got a late surprise...We grabbed lunch...dry, grilled chicken salad for me! We stopped at a really cute store in Trinity, Tx...and then got in one of the worst thunder storms I have driven through in years... Complete with golf ball size hail and a funnel cloud!!
I was seriously stressed out! 

We finally arrived safely and I have a few more gray hairs to show for it!
Posting this weekend is going to be a challenge as I have lousy connectivity!!

So...short post tonight...before I go, I must confess...I am really struggling with this cleanse...really struggling! So I need extra prayers...if you have any to spare!

Today...I did a short hill workout...tomorrow I will be climbing TX hills prepping for Cali Dunes....I got a looong way to go!

Just thinking tonight that Life is very valuable...My hope for all of you is that you know how valuable and precious you are and that you tell those you love how precious they are to you...everyday!


Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Wading through the Layers of Fluff

So...along this Journey I have faced physical challenges as well as emotional and spiritual growth put it nicely! 

I started this Journey without much thought...Meaning it was somewhat impulsive and I did not mull over the in's and out's of starting this process.  I just knew it was what I was supposed to do! 

But let me be honest...If I had in fact, thought about it...I may not be here right now.  I may not have been so willing to lose my gut (s) more ways than one.  I may not have really considered the potential "growth opportunities" as opportunity at all...but would be like be intimidated by taking on such a life change for fear of failing...for looking foolish and for fear of disappointing myself and others.

But here I am...wading through layers of fluff of all kinds. Yes, my primary goal is still to somehow, some way lose the years of extra padding I have accumulated.  But there are other layers of "padding" that I have kept on my person...emotional layers that over the years have prevented me from being my true self.  Not to say that I have been living some kind of lie...that is not it at all...I just know that I have censored myself, protected myself over the years from being the kind of vulnerable I have been here over the past 9 months. 

So when I talk about all of this "stuff" here and I say things that sound like something I already said before...I can get really critical of myself and think there is something "wrong" with me. 

I have a friend who has had some really difficult struggles in her life...and she is fighting those battles in her own way. She lives within an environment that echoes the idea that there is something "wrong" with her for having intense feelings...and she wholeheartedly believes that to be true.  She is having to learn that God did not create us to be picture perfect...He did not create us without fault or feelings.  He does ask us to trust Him and believe that we are Loved and covered with God's Grace, even in our very imperfect state.  I don't know about you...but that is quite challenging for me at believe that despite my mistakes, my sometimes reckless free will that I am still Loved..unconditionally.  

I am reading a book called Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero.  The book is pretty intense!  But..I am finding some insights and support for being connected to my emotional health and the belief that I am developing that says...I am a person who feels deeply, who needs to be emotionally healthy and aware in order to be in an authentic relationship with God. 

He says the following about Christians (he includes himself)  as a generalized group: 

"Many of us Christians believe wholeheartedly that anger, sadness, and fear are sins to be avoided, indicating something is wrong with our spiritual life.  Anger is dangerous and unloving toward others.  Sadness indicates a lack of faith in the promises of God; depression surely reveals a life outside the will of God!...Like most Christians, I was taught that almost all feelings are unreliable and not to be trusted."

For me, most of what he says is something I have experienced...I have heard and seen many people whom I know are biblically astute, confident Christians who are mortified of feelings and are of the belief that feelings are a sign of weakness in faith, in character and are a negative personality trait. 

Here is what I know for myself...I too have believed and at times,still do believe..that my emotions represent a weakness in Faith and Character...but I also know that along this Journey of trying to shed the fat...I am finding a wonderful freedom in embracing how I feel..sharing it with others..."owning it" and not running from it.  It makes this Journey so much more meaningful...and I can attest that my spiritual life has grown immensely. 

Here is another thing I know...I must be in a strong, committed relationship with God in order to continue to pursue this goal to achieve an overall healthy lifestyle that will enable me to be the best me possible. 

And finally, having said the above... for me, being in a strong, committed relationship with anyone...but particularly with God...requires that I feel...that I am honest, that I am confident about who I am and that I am authentic to my very core.  Being "emotional" lies at the very heart of a relationship.

That is just how I roll! :)

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Answering God's Knock

Day 2 of the Cleanse...has been a doozie!!!  OK...So I just did this 6 months ago (not even) however, I struggled today!  First, I left the house without my shake (primary source of protein for the day)...Which a HUGE mistake.  I have been hungry ALL Day as a consequence of my frazzled morning. 

You know those days where things just start off a little off...Well that was today!  For those of you that live in the Houston area...I work in Bellaire and have to travel through the Galleria area everyday on my way to work...and traffic is typically bad.  Today, as a special treat, a tanker truck driver practically drove his truck off the exit ramp (the elevated exit ramp) from the West Loop to US 59...spilling some kind of fuel in the process and thusly shutting down one of the busiest interchanges in the nation...ALL DAY...and making it virtually impossible for me and thousands of other worker bees to get to our offices and cubicles alike!!!

So here is the scenario...One 46 year old, very hungry, Fluffy Girl...driving a car among thousands of frustrated drivers via every alternate route possible.  Let me revise that...One 46 year old, HOR"MEAN"AL, very hungry Fluffy Girl with a caffeine detox headache!  We are talking a high risk situation...BUT...I made it to the office without any major negative road rage, no crying...I did eat the grapes out of my lunch though!!!  Total drive time this morning: One Hour and 45 minutes!  Good Times....Good Times....

So all day..I was just a little off...a little "off my axis".  I fought the whole hunger thing all day...I was busy at work and for fun...I knew that I had a very similar commute back home. 

But you know what...I made it through the day...I prayed on my way in this morning that God would grant me patience and all the courage I would need to get through Day 2 of this challenging but rewarding process.  I reminded myself that I successfully completed this cleanse at the beginning of the year and  that I felt great for having gone through it! 

I stayed focused on the good parts of the day:  I did not EAT anything I was not supposed to...I did not die of hunger and on my way home...I had a nice conversation with my pal Lindsey, got the following message from my friend Brigette:

Hey, I did the have lost 1.238095238095238 POUNDS PER WEEK EVERY WEEK FOR 42 WEEKS STRAIGHT!!!!!!! Shut up! That is fabulous!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :):):):):)

I completed a 1.8 mile walk, grabbed some produce from the grocery store and made it home alive and kickin'...OK...maybe I was not exactly Kicking..but hey...I walked in without tripping!!!

But...before I made it home...right before I gathered the rest of my depleted energy up to carry in the world's heaviest watermelon (not really)...I got a text from a friend.  She was sharing something that her 21 year old son sent to the family earlier in the evening.  He sent the following segment from a book called Moments of a Savior by Ken Gire.  His description of the book is that it is "absolutely mind blowing and heart breaking and God-glorifying."  Again...he is just 21! 

Here is the quote:

"And for those times when you (God) yearn for my fellowship and stand at the door and knock, grant me a special sensitivity to the sound of that knock so I may be quick to my feet.  Keep me from letting you stand out in the cold."

 I can get lost in so many other sounds...mostly the sound of my own voice...Today...I for a while,  got lost in the sound of traffic, honking horns, deadlines, business sounds, life sounds...I got lost in the sounds of hunger!

I will pray for the ability to hear that knock...I will pray for that"special sensitivity"to that sound...the sound of the knock of God asking me for some time...time to be in fellowship with Him.

Here is what is true for me...I am pretty confident that I have missed God's knock many times over...I also know that when I hear the knock and answer...that moment is amazing...I want more of those moments. 

This Journey is about a lot of things!  It started as a Journey about losing weight and getting healthy and it still is...After reading the above quote..I know that this Journey is also about listening for God's Knock and quickly moving my feet to answer the door!

So...again I am blessed by those people that God has placed in my life...Goodnight!

Monday, June 3, 2013

The Journey Continues

HI...It is Monday!!!  I was standing in my driveway last night talking to a neighbor.  She said to me..."Has it been 9 months since you started this Journey"...I casually answered, Yes. 

During my drive to work this time when I do a lot of praying and thinking...It suddenly hit me...9 months!!! It has been 9 months since I wrote my first blog post indicating my intentions...My intent to change my life...NO biggie!!  LOL! 

During my reflection this morning, I realized that I cannot even begin to wrap my mind around all of the things that have changed...all of the experiences I have had, all of the moments I have been blessed by God, and all of the victories both big and small! 

It made me think that I often use words like battle, challenge, overcome, struggle...I suppose that is true for me...I have battled, struggled through challenges, fought to overcome, etc...but with those things come words like victory, success, strength, courage, faith...and I have used those words along this Journey as well.  Though I have admitted that I am certainly not where I thought I would be in terms of weight loss, it has been a much slower process than I planned on...I am also not where I thought I would be in terms of lessons learned, new experiences, growth in my Faith, blessings received, friends made, love received...I am well beyond any goal I could have set or any amount I could have imagined!! 

God has provided a path for me that has led me up, over and through the challenges, through the battles and He has given me renewed strength, tremendous love and moments of victory that far surpasses losing pounds! 

There will be more challenges...more opportunities for growth and more opportunities to shed the old, the things that weigh me down, physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I know it will continue to be a roller coaster ride.  I know that I will continue to "feel" all the ups and downs.  But I must tell you...9 months in...I would not change much! 

So having said the above...As I approach the last few months of this I have an opportunity to make a few dreams come true, climb a few more obstacles, give some of my time, heart and faith back and continue to make every effort to add healthy balance to my life...I am aware of something...something that I am choosing to "officially" address....

This Journey will continue beyond this year...this scheduled 12 months of change...This Journey will continue and so will this blog...until I lose my original goal of 120lbs!  It is important for me to see this through to the completion of my original goal.  I will need all the support, accountability, wisdom and guidance I can get. 

Trust me when I say...that anything that I have accomplished so far...anything I have fought and won against...was because I have wonderful support, amazing love and have had the accountability I needed from all of the amazing people who are in my life...if even for a moment.

So I am ready for the last 3 months of the 1st year of this journey!  The Life of the Fluffy Girl and my Fight to Light will continue. 

I am hoping that you guys will hang in there with me!  I know that a daily blog can be quite tedious and I certainly know that I repeat myself (often)...but any time you have to give...any words of wisdom and encouragement are appreciated.  Your thoughts, suggestions, tips, recipes, quotes, funny thoughts are invaluable!!!

So...hang on...the Journey Continues!!!!

“Wouldn't take nothing for my journey now.”
Maya Angelou

Sunday, June 2, 2013

A Special Sunday

Happy very late Sunday! 

It has been another jam packed day!  This was a special day in the life of my Sweet Emily.  She was baptized today.  She was quite nervous...mostly about having to be in front of such a large crowd of people.  She was baptized/confirmed along with 70+ other 6th graders today.  Several of us stood with her as she was baptized...Her Mom and Dad, Tone Tone and I, uncle, aunt and cousins...8 of us total...proudly stood with her! 

To celebrate her confirmation...Mom and I gave her a cross necklace and a copy of a great daily devotional-Jesus Calling for Kids! 

Afterwards..Tone Tone, Emily and I had lunch and then Em and I spent the rest of the day together.  It was a good day.  It was a Special Day!

I must acknowledge though that mixed in with the celebration of Emily's confirmation, Donna and her family are dealing with the illness of Donna's 30 year old niece who is battling an aggressive breast cancer.  She has a young son and it is a profoundly difficult situation for all involved.  I was a aware today that joy and sadness can sometimes co-exist in close quarters.  It makes life difficult at times.  The sadness around me was palpable and the celebration continued.  I was proud of Emily for working through her fear of being "seen" by so many in such a vulnerable moment and was truly moved by the adults supporting her despite their own pain and sadness.  The one thing I was sure of though...was that God was right there...for everyone involved...even given the wide spectrum of emotions being felt.

So I begin the Cleanse tomorrow.  I am ready and a little relieved that for the next 4 weeks...I know exactly what to much and that my grocery shopping will be greatly simplified.  I live in the grocery simplifying that process doesn't suck!!! 

Though buying smaller Fluffy Girl workout clothes yesterday was a big ego boost!!!  I am really praying for some good results from this cleanse and am  hoping that this provides the same kind of energy and weight loss boost that I need. 

I hope you all have a great week full of many blessings, healthy living and tons of love and laughter! 



Saturday, June 1, 2013

Losing Inches and Workin' It

Hello...and a good late Saturday evening to you!!!  Today has been great...caught a Little League baseball game at Noon (Jackson-my Co-Worker Matt's 8th grade son)...Got sunburned...NO KIDDING!  Completely roasted in 1.5 hours at the ball park!  Cra Cra!!!

Picked up Tone Tone for lunch...and we SHOPPED.  I bought new workout clothes...4 sizes smaller (pants) than I started with in August of 2012.  I needed that boost!!!  Can you say:

I was pumped!!!  I am wearing sizes I have not worn since I was in my 20's...Yee HAW!!!  I bought 3 pair of new gym pants, a new outfit for Cali, new tank tops (yes, I am even going to let people see my flappy arms)...New work shirts...My shirts are 2 sizes smaller!  The "girls" are keeping me from dropping shirt sizes too quickly!  But I AM making progress..even when I don't see it!

I bought new shoes, new makeup...OOOOH...I am going to be workin' it!!!  You know what I'm
It has been a great, shopping, time with my Tone Tone, a good, busy stress...just fun!
I am ready for some couch time and then Nite Nite!!! 
Tomorrow is a big day.  Emily will be Confirmed tomorrow.  She has been in confirmation class for the past 9 months and tomorrow she will be baptized and confirmed.  I think she is nervous but I told her that she is building a foundation with God and as she grows and matures...she will have a deeper understanding of her relationship with God...Tomorrow she is pouring the foundation and setting the framework for a lifetime relationship!  I pray that made sense to her but I know her heart and I know God will guide her! 
So please keep her in your prayers tomorrow. 
Here is to a Sunday full of great love and Blessings.