Hi there...I am on the backside of a crazy busy week and am surviving...Lots of changes going on these days...some big, some small, some possible, some improbable. All time consuming.
I think it has been MORE than well-established that I am a worrier...and in the midst of "unsettledness"...my worry button gets pushed frequently.
So I am spending as much time as I can in a very conscious effort to maintain an open dialogue with God and with those that reinforce the purpose of this Journey.
I am getting ready to make a few changes to my weight loss/exercise program (stay tuned) and am hoping that those changes push me through to the next level of this Journey.
I am seeing changes in my body just in the short amount of time that I have been playing/coaching volleyball 3 days per week. I have been told that the body needs changes in regimen in order to keep losing weight...in order to keep refining, shaping and "leaning" out...God knows I could use some Refinement!!! :)
I played on my sand VB team last night and for the 1st time this short season, I do NOT feel like an 90 year old woman afterwards...even my knees are manageable today!!! Miracles do happen!
As I have said many, many times...the daily process of this Journey...this challenge to revamp my Whole body...and my goal to feel Whole again...is daunting at times. AND...the rewards have been mind blowing at times...It requires that I constantly change and grow with each step..It requires a level of faith that I at times, don't think I have and then find that I do...which is amazing.
The daily motion of this Journey can be rough one moment and completely freeing and beautiful the next.
I continue to ask for God's daily guidance and I am incorporating the daily prayer that I be willing to fully see and embrace the daily opportunities God provides for me to grow in my faith....to develop my strength...to strengthen my body and ultimately...to "lighten up".
It is no secret that I have and am...facing daily struggles in this weight loss Journey...the seemingly never-ending battle with food and the associated guilt that seems to accompany that battle. It is no secret that I have struggled emotionally...as I lose not only layers of fluff but "virtual layers" of all of the other "stuff" I have accumulated over the years...Emotionally and Spiritually.
It has been hard to write lately about this Journey for me...18 months is a REALLY long time to talk about being fat, forty+ and full of feelings!! Trust me...
AND...I continue to know that this place is my accountability to myself and to those that take the time to read it.
As I continue...I know that the same accountability, support and motivation will be needed to finally finish this leg of my Life's Journey...the Journey within the Journey!!!
My prayer lately is that I honor God's Big Picture plan for me...That I seek out the best support and let go of the negative...sluff the fluff...and seek the authentic..in me and in others.
As always, being the external creature that I am..I will need support...I will need a fierce Army of Angels that have the time, space and inclination to continue on or join in on this Journey...
My prayer is as this Journey progresses..that I am able to give back all that I have received...a million times over!
Have a good evening.