Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Crossing Oceans

I have a hard time letting go of things...all kinds of things...up to and including greeting cards, scraps of paper, pictures (even bad ones), old clothes that don't they too small OR too big, old bills,  checkbooks, bank statements, receipts, Christmas decorations, SHOES...and the list goes on...and NO I am not going to be on one of the those "hoarder"shows...but I do not easily release my grip on stuff that at one time or another...had some kind of value. fear around letting go...does not stop at stuff!!! goes much deeper than evidenced by the extra pounds I carry...the worry I harbor and the sometimes less than healthy relationships I hang on to!

I would like to think that I am a vertically challenged, deep thinking, devoutly loyal individual that hangs on no matter what!!!  (In a good way)

Instead...I at times, think that what I overly fluffy, obsessively thinking, sucker who does not know when she is being taken for a ride! (Not in a good way) both are extreme representations of my real view of my life...but I will say that I do battle with Letting Go...and right NOW...I need to LET GO...of several things.

Mostly...I need to Let Go of the fear...

So truth...I wrote the above days ago...and did not finish the thought. Tonight...I considered deleting it...starting over...but couldn't LET GO of the thought.  Lol!

Today...I was reminded that I have some things to let go of...including a few expectations! 

Today...I got my feelings hurt and realized that will continue to happen if I don't let go of an unrealistic "ideal" unrealistic expectation!

Yesterday,  I met with my new nutritionist/trainer....she came up with a great plan...something that I know I can do...

I just have to let go of this idea that I am stuck and can't do it!!

I have known since the day this Journey started that I would have to re-train my brain, revamp my lifestyle and ultimately let go ALL the stuff that keeps me fluffy and sick.

I figured out pretty early in this Journey that it was going to be one heck of a rollercoaster ride...

I have gained and lost pounds, sizes, motivation, inspiration and friends along the way...And have experienced the highest of highs and some pretty low lows...

But...with every down day...great things continue to come my way twofold...the let downs are often offset by the uplifting moments....the disappointments overshadowed by the gifts! 

First and foremost, I HAVE to believe....TRULY believe that I am capable of meeting my goals and worthy of my expectations for myself...for my life.

I recently posted a quote that really hit home for me...paraphrasing...At some point in time you have stop crossing oceans for those who would not jump a puddle for you.

Though a little "victimy" for has some truth to it...but in thinking about it...I thought this...I have to be willing to cross an ocean for myself and let go of all of those things that keep me from doing so...

This weight loss is my ocean to cross...the unhealthiness in my life is my ocean to cross...having people in my life who would cross an ocean for me...well...I have to be willing to do so first!

So...I guess I better get to swimming!

I got the below in a fortune cookie a few days ago...

It is time again to GO DEEP!


  1. well said "my dear".....happy to hear you and the nutritionist have come up with a new plan.. very important. It's obvious, you are still motivated and trying! Love ya,A.C.