Any Day On This Journey is Good

Despite a recent bout with middle agedness...I continue to think that I must forge on...fight for the next step and breathe in the belief that I am capable...of anything and everything.

Some days are better than others...

In my battle with fatigue, creaking bones, aching muscles and stubborn fluff...I find that I have to rely on pure unadulterated will...and the faith that supports that stubborn will.

Some days are better than others.

Last night during my boot camp time...I struggled mightily!  In my opinion,  ridiculously so...stopping mid set...light headed from my efforts...feeling SO discouraged...feeling every minute of my 47 years on this planet.

But...I managed to finish...albeit with more of a limp than a glide...but I got through...managed to move this body in a forward direction...managed to trust this process and am truly,  genuinely working on remembering that though some days are, in fact, better than others...Any day on this Journey is good!

The Fat Season Blues

I have recently heard this time of year described as "Fat Season".  The 1st time I saw it...I truly l laughed out loud....an honest to goodness LOL!

That laugh was closely followed by this thought...Hell...I LIVE in Fat Season...Every Day!!! Is there a Thin Season? Or even a Well-Proportioned Season??

As I enter this time of year...I struggle like many...with all of the temptation this season brings and if I am not careful, I enter Fatter Season crooning the Fat Season Blues! 

This Journey is a little tougher right now than preferred...I "feel" like I am working my ass off...without results!

I have hit the weight loss wall hard...and genuinely don't seem to know how to get around it...through it or over it!

However,  despite feeling some embarrassment at this fact...I STILL believe that this is God's plan for me...just not seeing that plan too clearly today!

Just one of those roadblocks that feels bigger than it is...too big to maneuver gracefully, today!

So...I tell the truth here in hopes that by doing so, I can keep my focus, acknowledge the uncomfortable parts of this Journey, trust blindly in God's plan, count my blessings and just keep going!

My friend Brigette sent me this today...Perfectly timed! So very true in So many ways!

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff...or Even The Big Stuff

I suck at managing stress...and that stresses me out!

So part of this Journey...a part I was generally unprepared for...is the stark reality that I wear stress like a second skin and I have a very difficult time shedding that skin!

They say (whoever "they" are) that "stress kills"...Who am I to argue?? It certainly feels like it kills...and it certainly sucks the energy out of this girl.

As part of my daily fight to light...reducing stress has been a central theme in the battle.  I have to practice reducing stress daily...it requires a very focused approach and at times, the practice pays off and I see the benefits of that practice...and then there are those times when I fall into old habits and behavior patterns that just kick my butt!

Sadly...I at times, don't even recognize some of the warning signs until I am wound tighter than an 8 day clock,  brain in overdrive and the telltale sign of physical exhaustion complete with a funky heart rhythm that is quite disconcerting! Yes...I have had the whole heart thing checked out...answer...stress/exhaustion triggers nutty heartbeat!

SO...I continue to make attempts to combat the stress...focus on the blessings....breathe through the worry...move the body...seek solutions and be willing to be willing...regardless of outcome. PRACTICE....PRACTICE....PRACTICE!

A wrinkle to the stress I experience on this Journey is the idea that I cannot stop...no rest for the wicked kind of mentality.  That I must physically and mentally keep pushing through the fatigue...keep moving at all costs or I will somehow not succeed.

So that brings me here...I am tired...heart tired and I must move out of the stress and into a solution.

So here is my own, off the cuff...5 step solution.

1st step...confession....here...now...own this imperfection and move on to step 2.

2nd step...Stop...take deep breaths...slow down long enough to catch my breath...

3rd step...embrace the pace of this Journey with intention..or at the very minimum....be willing to embrace it with intention.

4th step...less me...more God...remember that prayer overpowers the problem and empowers the body.

5th step...rinse and repeat as often as necessary! 

One big piece of the stress puzzle...stop taking myself so seriously...stress less...laugh more and don't sweat the small stuff...or even the big stuff, for that matter!

Here are a couple little thoughts on Stress that I thought were worth sharing.

Beyond Measure

It has been a busy, fun weekend spent with people I love...people that always leave me with a full heart...people who, in their own unique way, challenge me, support me, lift me up...and even bring me back down to earth...when necessary.

Though they (and you) may not know it...each  provides some inspiration,  encouragement,  strength, hope and wisdom that keeps me on this path.

Each serve as a conduit to God's voice...all I have to do is listen...or at least be willing to listen.

God knows how I hear...how I can be reached and what it takes to touch my heart.

I am grateful for that. Beyond Measure!

So...holding to the truth that is key in my future success.  I again, am sharing here that I am feeling a little weary of this Journey....my body is a little banged up and bruised and so is my spirit.

And yet...I still know...through God's voice...through His grace and his blessings that this Journey is still a GO...still essential....still neccesary and still a miracle.

Your continued prayers are invaluable! 

I will keep moving forward...not focusing on my mistakes and stumbles...but rather on the blessings that I receive daily...I know I can do it...because I have...because I am...because He is with me.

For that, I am grateful,  Beyond Measure.

Fighting Negative Nelly

So I MAY be old...the jury is out!
However....I refuse to cave to my chronological demons!

I MAY be feeling a little beleaguered...but I refuse to let that keep me from taking one more step...or at least giving it my best shot!

My training sessions this week have been tough...lots of serious huffing and puffing!  Like a freakin' freight train. Even shed a few tears (nobody saw that)...but it happened!

I must admit that I STILL am baffled by how difficult this Journey can be...right in the middle of the miracle that it is!

So...as most may know by now...I at times,  write things here that I WANT to be true...putting thoughts out there that I want to see manifestations of in my daily life. Dreams...into...truths.

I MAY not always be a positive human...I MAY be a bit of a Doubting Thomas at times...however,  I am making a daily effort to practice positivity.

Retraining my brain is as big of a challenge as refining my body...Growing my faith is key...not just saying...but believing...

I am working hard to create a healthier me...a better life...a bigger heart...

I have learned along the way...that when I feel stuck or don't visually see the results of my work...THAT continues to be where I find my inner Negative Nelly...lurking around in the middle of my miracle!

So...this week...a week where I am feeling stuck and sluggish,  I am outwardly practicing positivity...battling Nelly by pushing past her...praying through her...taking her on with all the things I have learned I can do despite her presence...using the love, the wisdom, the grace that I receive from others...calling on the strength I know I have and the courage God gives me to overcome.

Negative Nelly doesn't stand a chance!

Does God Need Glasses?

So I sent a dear friend the quote below that was sent to me by my friend Karen at some well-timed moment on this Journey! 
It made me laugh when I received it the 1st time and I shared it here in a previous post.

You see... my friend Mary is in her 1st year of Medical school...a second career for her...a brave, bold life change that blows my mind and inspires me to keep pushing onward in my Journey! 

Med school is hard...a big damn deal! She is working her butt off...so in an effort to cheer her on from afar...I send her weekly text messages...a little something to remind her that I am in her corner...and more importantly, so is God!

What is important to know is that my friend Mary has the remarkable ability to make me think...AND laugh...which makes for some really good medicine! Heals the soul!

So today....I send the below...and her response (after a Thank you)...was..."Hopin' God doesn't need glasses!

I truly laughed out loud!  Funny enough though...it made me think.

As I continue this Journey...and particularly in the last several days...I have wondered...Am I as strong and courageous as God seems to think I am? Am I as much of a "badass" as I need to be to handle this Journey?? Does God need glasses?

But here's the thing...just as my vision gets cloudy and I begin to lose sight of the path...Amazingly...Miraculously...God provides some clarity...some guidance...some clear perspective that in fact, reminds me that God's vision is perfect!  It is me that needs the glasses...It is me that clouds the view...God's vision is crystal clear!

So...as much as I have pondered this Journey....analyzed the speed at which I am traveling or direction I am going....it always comes back to this...

I must live by Faith and not by sight...I must close my eyes and trust that God will see me through!

So Mary...I think God is right...we ARE badasses...as long as we let our imperfect eyes see His perfect vision!

Goodnight! 

Too Legit To Quit

Training for the MS 150, the 180+ mile bike ride from Houston to Austin has begun.

I am back at boot camp...for a 6 week session...3 days per week and beginning to get some time on the bike (saddle time)  when I can.

Starting in November, I will steadily increase my time, distance and hopefully,  speed on the bike.

In January,  I will begin a more intensive 16 week training program to prepare for the Spring 2015 ride.

Right now...I am physically struggling through my workouts...largely due to an increase in migraines, I guess...but am doing my best to push through. 

I just want to keep moving...taking that one more step than I thought I could...knowing that this physical challenge I am preparing for will be one of the toughest yet!

I need to build stamina and strength...mentally and physically over the next few months! 

This week has been quite challenging physically.  My workouts are sluggish and a little on the ugly side...but I am trying to keep my focus...fix my eyes on the goal and take my best shot!

I am working on trusting the pace of the Journey....being patient with my physical body and remembering that every step counts...even when I stumble!  Replaying the words "Don't  Stop" over and over again in my head...Trusting that I am "Too Legit To Quit!" :)