Monday, March 10, 2014

Walking to Nebraska

Hi all...having a few struggles today...not one identifiable thing...but a collection of a little bumps along today's road.

I watched the movie Nebraska last night.  Truthfully, I thought I might hate it...thought it might be a slow moving, depressing stroll through a life of dreams unrealized!  I was right....sort of...

The movie is billed as a comedy/drama..and that is generally true...there are certainly some funny characters...some funny quips and observations and I suppose that the entire plot could be considered funny...but for me it had a poignancy to it...a deep sadness...however, there was a funny bit of Hope wrapped up in this somewhat gloomy, mundane look at this life of a moderately dysfunctional Midwestern family.

Now I have no intention of busting out my best Roger Ebert movie reviewing skills...nor am I am going to give a blow by blow plot description..but something did resonate with me as I watched.  Unfortunately, it may not make a bit of sense to anyone who has not seen the movie!!! 

So that makes this post kinda just for me!! Sorry...for any confusion I may create! :)

As I watched I thought...I don't want to have to make that "drive" the end of my life...looking for something to fill an empty spot...I don't want to have to drive to my version of Lincoln, NE looking for my pot of gold, literally or figuratively...

Now don't get me wrong...I want to be chasing dreams until the day I die...I just don't want them to be old dreams I did not chase earlier...when I had better odds of fulfilling them...

There is a line...a funny, kind of awful the movie that reminded me of my own Journey in a funny way. 

AS the older, some addled main character attempts to "walk" to Nebraska to collect his supposed sweepstakes winnings...His sharp tongued, somewhat cruel wife says this: 

" I never knew the son of a bitch even wanted to be a millionaire! He should have thought about that years ago and worked for it!"

Though this Journey is not about being a millionaire for me...I do want some things that have to be worked for...that I can't wait to "just happen".  There are some things in my life that if I don't work to accomplish now...I will be the old, addled person "walking to Nebraska" to collect on a delusion! 

So where I am going with this... is where I think I am going...In the midst of one of those "off" days we all have...I started thinking about how important it is for me to keep moving forward...even when I have days that feel like a reversal of direction...I have to stay in the the Love of this Journey...

So as I said above...there is Hope in this quirky, funky movie...and for me, it comes in the form of the the form of the Love between a Father and a Son...even as bizarrely as it manifests...Love...being willing to keep going against all reasonable odds...Love overcame the insanity, the delusion, the sadness...the loss...Love Conquered All. 

So as I sit here today...feeling a bit sad, with a little gnawing fear that I too, am going to someday be "walking to Nebraska" when I am too old to stand...looking for something I missed...searching for some dream I did not chase...I gratefully remembered the HOPE...the Hope that manifests as LOVE...The Love of this Journey...The Love of the people who keep pushing me to embrace this path I am on...The Love between of the Heavenly Father and his child! 

I am aware that while this post may be as clear as mud to you the reader...for me..It was a needed step into Clarity...

I have a choice to pursue the dreams I have for my life NOW...Now is the Time...No reversal of direction..unexpected misfortune or bump in the road is worth stopping my forward momentum. 

PHIL 4:13

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