Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Watching Paint Dry

Life is funny...in one moment it feels like it moves at an absolute crawl and then...without any notice or warning..it can whip into a frenzy and just absolutely feel like it flies by.

Of course...I have heavily discussed my experiences of life's pace at length here in this virtual journal documenting my life changes...almost daily.

I have used any number of analogies...clich├ęs...quotes...to describe my experience as I navigate my ever-changing, up and down experiences during this part of my life's Journey.

Because of the goal I originally set...to lose 120lbs in ONE year....and given that I am just over halfway there in mid year 2....life in context to reaching this goal feels like watching paint dry!

Of course...to completely contradict that thought...with so many life changes...so many new experiences...so much new found energy...life can feel like it is blowing by!!! 

But either slow or fast...Life is precious...priceless...to be enjoyed...to be treasured and ultimately it ends.

I spend tons of time trying to figure it all out! LOL!!!  Trying to figure out at what pace I should be traveling...what I should be accomplishing...and whom I should be spending it with...

But we all know this...Life moves forward regardless of my best efforts to figure it all out...It moves forward as I wonder where it is going....It moves forward regardless of what I weigh, regardless of what I accomplish and it moves forward when I am alone or with others. 

From the beginning I have called this a Journey (even going as far as to capitalize the word EVERY time I write it).  From the very beginning I just knew that was the only word that would fit this experience.  But...Life is a Journey...the whole enchilada...the whole "shabang". 

Losing weight, gaining health, professional success, losing friends, gaining new ones, laughing, crying, learning, forgetting, falling, getting back up, breathing, and eventually not breathing anymore...ALL part of the Journey.

So in the middle of a "watching paint dry" moment in this weight loss part of my Journey...I was sharply...suddenly...reminded of the fragility of Life...and how the illusion of life rolling along slowly is just that an ILLUSION...or in my case maybe a Delusion!!!

Today, quite by accident, I found out that someone that was literally a daily part of my life during my college years died...at 45 years of age...someone that I loved, laughed my ass off with, cried with...learned with, fought with...grew up with...someone that I cherished...is gone.  Suddenly Life felt like is was zipping by...where did the time go? And what about the time that was supposed to be left?

As  you might imagine, a great sadness overwhelmed me.  It is never easy to say goodbye to someone...even if we said goodbye years ago...

I immediately began flying through the multitude of memories that live in my head and my heart...Life moving at break neck speed....A literal flash of thoughts, pictures in my mind's eye...blown through in almost a blink of an eye...

So...my impatience with the speed at which I appear to be traveling on my own Journey....suddenly seems just fine.  No hurry...after all this is no Race...This is IT...Life!

I knew I was going to post today...I had an idea...and then suddenly Life shifted...as it does. Suddenly...I was given the opportunity to embrace some needed perspective...I was given the opportunity to thank God for this Journey...and for the luxury of Watching Paint Dry.

I heard a song today...a new song...the lyrics made me smile...and felt true...so I am sharing them with you. 

Spread out arms out and lift them high
Run like a airplane in the sky
We got worries but we ain’t got time
To worry life away

Call our friends up and tell them to
And let them know why you feeling blue
The troubles they get a hold on you
When you worry life away

Lets a run a little bit faster
Hair blowing in the wind
There’s feeling here all around us
We got to breathe it in
So just smile and keep your head up
Smile and keep your head up
Smile and keep your head up high
Don’t worry life away

Giving up is an easy out
Then you got nothing to pray about
Maybe sailing smooth but your sinking down
When you worry life away

Grab a hold of your burdens why
Don’t you throw it in up to the sky
Surrender them to make ???
And kiss your worries goodbye

Lets a run a little bit faster
Hair blowing in the wind
There’s feeling here all around us
We got to breathe it in
So just smile and keep your head up
Smile and keep your head up
Smile and keep your head up high
Don’t worry life away


~Us The Duo





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