Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Grieving the Loss of the Fluff....

OK...I am another day closer to the start of this Journey and I have shared what I am doing with quite a few people.  My fear is that I would wake up today and say WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!!.  You the past, I have attempted to lose weight, eat healthier, live happier but...I did NOT want anyone else to know I was doing it.  Though I usually did tell people because I like to talk....alot.  But really, I just did not want the pressure of people asking me how it was going and how much weight I had lost and I certainly did not want anyone monitoring when I ate a cupcake or downed a Coke (which I refer to as "The Juice of Life").  So...ultimately the accountability factor was pretty low...and I liked it that way.  I also did not stay committed to the process.  That is reality. 

So yesterday, I told upwards of 40 people that I have started this new adventure and I did it with intention with a little fear mixed in (OK...a lot of fear).  Why?  I guess I am older, sicker, maybe a little wiser or crazier and know something about myself that I did not use to know...I NEED help from others, I need to be accountable and I need to make this process unique, fun, challenging and a priority.  I don't like to let people down and I like to compete, play and win!  Again, the combination of acknowledging that I need a strong support system around me combined with the goal of doing something I love again ties right back in to my inspiration for starting this journey in the first place...Watching 2 Great friends win a 3rd Gold medal in the is a perfect combo for me...a real team with really great people winning a really wonderful honor!!  Cool.

So Ok...what is next...well with any big change typically comes some grief. I expect some grief/loss feelings, adjustments, some aches/pains and some serious shifts in reality. 

Believe it or not...there are a few things I will miss about being "fluffy"...

1.  Babies and puppies (two of my favorite things) LOVE to snuggle with the fluffy me...they get all cozy and happy....nice! 
2.  Jeans without zippers...I just know that after I lose weight...I am going to feel compelled to dress more fashionably....and that means the return of zippers...
3. Friday Cookie Day at the office---I think this speaks for itself.
4. Fat Man Pants...some of you will know what I am talking about...for those of you that don''s kind of a long story!!!
5. An endless supply of self-deprecating humor topics.  I hope I can still be funny!!!

Those are just a few things...I do want to make one thing clear.  It is my firm belief that what we have on the inside, who we are, how we love, how we serve our community, our integrity, our willingness to give...these are the important things.  The outside is just the Fluff....and for me losing the fluff means I just get to work on being a better person a little longer.

The last 2 things....Firstly, thank you to all of you that have committed to follow me along this means so much to me.  Thank you for your comments, kind words and great ideas...please keep 'em coming. Lastly, a co-worker of mind shared a funny little story with me yesterday and I am going to post a little bit of that here...I hope none of my "thin" friends will be offended :).

Excerpts from That Lean and Hungry Look By Suzzanne Britt Jordan~

"In the first place, thin people aren't fun.  They don't know how to goof off, at least in the best, fat sense of the word.  They've always got to be adoing.  Give them a coffee break, and they'll jog around the block.  Supply them with a quiet evening at home, and they'll fix the screen door and lick S&H green stamps.  They say thing like "there aren't enough hours in the day".  Fat people never say that.  Fat people think the day is too damn long already. 
Fat people are convivial.  They will like you even if you're irregular and have acne.  They will come up with a good reason why you never wrote the great American novel.  The will cry in your beer with you.  They will put your name in the pot.  They will let you off the hook.  Fat people will gab, giggle, guffaw, gallumph, gyrate and gossip.  They are generous, giving and gallant.  They are guttonous and goodly and great.  What you want when you're down is soft and jiggly, not muscled and stable.  Fat people know this.  Fat people have plenty of room. Fat people will take you in."

Have a great day!  Much love, JLP

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