This is a letter of sorts...from me to you...the many of you that take the time, the patience and the energy it takes to be a part of my life.
So...I think it has been well documented lately that I am experiencing a few growing pains these days. A few weeks ago, I received this from a friend.
I keep reading it...thinking about what that means for me...I agree that there are times when our best plans turn our not to be the best...and that we, as people trying to reach a goal, have to amend plans in order to be successful. That makes perfectly good sense to me on a logical level...yet, I continue to struggle with all of the other pieces that play into this Journey over and above logic.
So here is what I got in the last 24 hours..or I should say...here is the reminder I got. The Plan is God's plan...not mine. So, I have to keep my ears, eyes and heart open to that plan. When my plan interferes with God's plan...that is where the trouble begins and grows, if I don't reel it in!!
Last night, I had the privilege of getting to hang out with two of my very first coaches. As I have said before in this blog...If you ever have the opportunity to sit down as an adult with a teacher, coach, mentor, someone that had an impact on your young life and talk about life from an adult perspective...don't pass it up. There is something so wonderful in the exchange...Of course, though I may be bias, these 2 people are exceptional people and I am blessed to have the opportunity.
They listened to me...like they had a choice...and I listened to them...yes, I stopped talking long enough to do that every once in a while. I found that in listening...I heard God's voice...His wisdom..coming through their words...their experiences...their courage and strength. I am no dummy...I knew going into it that these two women had something to say that I needed to hear...they always do!
Also yesterday, I received a message from a young man that I am just getting to know and that I have had the privilege of becoming friends with his Mom in the past year. I felt compelled to write a note of encouragement to him as he experiences some of those growth opportunities that God gives us on our way when we least expect them...we have ALL had those...Just wanted him to know that I believe God is right there...every step of the way...just a little note of encouragement...a prayer on paper of sorts. He is 20 years old...and probably could have thought I was a bit of a nut when he received this note ( and you KNOW it was NOT a short note) from someone he barely knows...but instead he wrote this..."The fact that we have only met briefly makes this letter so much more special and clearly from the Lord!" Love that...Wisdom...it is not just for us "seasoned" folks.
So...I got something from my time with my "coaches" and from this text from an exceptional young man...I was reminded that nothing can stop me if I remember that God loves me...more than anyone on this Earth can...That if I let Him guide my actions, my words, my plans...I will succeed...that There is a Way I can succeed.
So as I write this, I am again aware that somewhere along the way...somewhere EARLY in this process...this Journey really changed from a weight loss Journey into a something much bigger...much more important.
The 1st part of my title for this blog was created to reflect my Journey to lose 120lbs in a year. I can PROMISE you that you can find hundreds of other similar Journeys online...blogs, video blogs, you name it...ALL of which document the lives of people taking on the challenge of losing a large amount of weight in an allotted period of time. And like me, some set goals that they have not met...Others have kicked some butt and amazingly have met their goal weight within the time frame they designated. God Bless them all...for each of their experiences are unique and are, I am sure, filled with great stories of courage, strength, failures and successes...all that comes with making a radical life change.
The second part of the title of this blog was created to reflect the daily journey of this " fluffy girl's" journey to lose that weight...the honest, cold-hard facts of the Life...the daily life...of a Fluffy girl and her fight to become lighter!!!
Now...the part of the title that resonates with me most deeply is the Fight to Light. Yes...it still means a literal lightness...lighter on my feet, lighter on the scale...lbs and lbs lighter and I am still hoping for 120lbs lighter...
However, the word Light has taken on a different meaning for me...a singularly more important meaning that now for me, is the real meaning of this Journey. For me...this Journey is about learning to live fully in the Light..the Light of God's Love...and taking that Light with me...Living that Light so that others can see it...without straining their eyes and hearts..you see...THAT is the fight for me in this Journey...to really live as FULLY as I can, be ALL that God intended AND in a HEALTHY body.
See...the healthy body...the weight loss really has become a secondary goal..but very necessary for me to accomplish the ultimately bigger goal...to the live this life that God gave me to the very fullest...
I could spend hours enumerating the multitude of life changing moments I have experienced since August of 2012 and technically, I have in the over 500 posts here...and I am sure I will continue to do in the next 500...but I am not sure that my words...and my ability to utilize the English language will EVER be demonstrative enough, descriptive enough or eloquent enough to capture the reality of my experiences...but I keep trying!
But because I love words...I love this outlet as a way I can express the love, the craziness, the growth, the growing pains...the gains and the losses, the victories and the total fails. But most importantly, I love this place because it is where I have begun to learn about the real meaning of this Journey...Because this is where I have met inspiration...because it is the place where I am learning to share my heart, conquer my fears, cry my tears and make some really bad jokes. Because this is the place I am learning about my own personal Journey to Light and the ways in which I can be the Light...to share it with others...THIS is the place is where others have shared with me their Light...their Courage and their Hearts!
At the end of the day...This is the place where I am embracing ALL parts of my life...not just the fluff! With every pound I lose (gain back) and lose again...I GAIN a permanent change in my heart. I GAIN from all of you...much needed wisdom, courage, honesty and LOVE...
And just like anything in life...along this Journey...I have lost friends, gained new ones, relied on my family, looked to strangers for help and found friends in the process. I have had to overcome my fears of looking foolish, or weak and trade that in for the knowledge that those things don't define me..but do give me the opportunity to grow.
I continue on this Journey...a bit bruised today...but clear that this Journey to Light...is worth the Fight...and that though the Plan MAY change...The Goal is Still the SAME only bigger!!!
So as I end this letter to you, I am reluctant to make any promises about the the trajectory of this Journey, the success or how long it will take...I am thinking though...that this Journey to Light...is one that will last a lifetime. Relax though...I will not require all of you to read this for the rest of your life or mine...But I will continue (not daily) to document my quest to get this body in shape for the rest of this Journey!
One of the best parts of this Journey for me is really coming to learn and understand the power of Love...God's Love, sharing that and receiving it! Thank you for being great teachers!
Still Forging On...There is Way! The Truth, the Life and The Way
P.S. This is a Great song...take a listen!