Tuesday, January 21, 2014

UNDER the Bus or ON the Bus?

So...some of  you may have noticed that I took a break...others may be grateful that I took a break!!  A feeble attempt at a little self-deprecating humor.

So...here is the bottom line.  Things are not so great. My struggles...despite my repeated efforts to overcome...have to some extent knocked me down.

I have told a few people today and have most definitely said it here before...Weight Loss is not...at least not in the realm of my experience..about Diet/Exercise solely...It is about surrendering, releasing, reversing, re-learning, relenting and recuperating (to, from, over, under...whatever applies) ALL of the life shaping moments that have gotten me here...Fat, sick and overwhelmed.

Trust me...I know that GOD is still driving the bus...I am just feeling more like I am UNDER the Bus instead of ON the Bus.

So Sunday was a weird day...Truthfully...some big things happened...moments of unsolicited enlightenment that I DID NOT sign up for!!

The Reader's Digest Version...Sunday happened...I went headlong into a downward spiral...decided I did NOT have what it takes to do this and stopped...

Every moment since then has been about pulling myself out of the spiral...right the ship and move forward.

I am a work in progress (or lack thereof.)

Honestly...telling that truth here is killing me...I am ashamed, tired, pissed off and clearly grouchy about it!

So...having said that...I am attempting to Act As IF...As IF I can do this...I have no idea if that is true!

I am not sure I can post daily until this lifts..so I am choosing to selectively post.

I still appreciate the support, the love and if you read this...Please Pray! I know I am.


  1. RESOUNDINGLY YES....YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!! Taking a step back from the Blog and situation.....not a bad idea until you are ready to share your thoughts again. Over all other things....(as you have been doing) keep your strong faith intact. A.C.

  2. You can do this. I know you. Take a break and view the ride from under the bus for a bit. When you tire of this get back in your seat and see what you missed. Old habits - even those that are bad for us - seem comfortable and most often for no reason at all. It's that evil one trying to get one over on you. Beat him! Beat the sh*+ out of him!