I'm A Fixer Upper

Have you ever had one of those moments...where you spend a ton of energy and time..trying to create something meaningful and worthwhile only to lose it all...Well...that happened with this blog post...I spent over an hour...writing tonights post...It published...and then...It was gone...without even a shred of it saved...I have NO IDEA...

I guess  it was just not meant to be...

Here is the bottom line....I would like to tell you that my mind is straight...that I am back on the straight and narrow and rushing toward my goal at break neck speed...

Instead...My mind is fuzzy...taking lots of little steps along a very topsy turvy path...stumbling toward my goal at a snail's pace..

I know everyone is ready for  me to get it together...fire up and move ON...me too!!! 

Instead...I am spending most of my time trying to sort through the crooked path of my mind...praying hard for the willingness to be willing again...and literally walking toward my goal...no jogging, pumping iron..climbing or swimming...just plain ole walking...

In my original post, I talked about how it has been my experience that often in conversations words...like struggle, depressed, overwhelmed...well..those are whispered words...often with a negative connotation...Like if they are spoken  too loudly...they might just be real...

So...I am still struggling (whispered)...

Over the weekend, I went to see Frozen...The new Disney animated flick.  I went to see it because of Idina Menzel (the voice of the Queen).  She is an amazing singer/actress that originated roles on Broadway in Rent and Wicked.  She blows my mind and can move mountains with that voice...I was hoping she could move a mountain or two for me.

I was not disappointed...the music, the story...the message of the movie was brilliant. 

Funny enough...several songs resonated in me and mirrored some of my personal feelings along this Journey...But one song in particular really struck a chord in me...Fixer-Upper...This lyric particularly...

We’re not saying you can change her, ‘cuz people don’t really change
We’re only saying that love’s a force that’s powerful and strange
People make bad choices if they’re mad, or scared, or stressed
Throw a little love their way (throw a little love their way) and you’ll bring out their best
True love brings out their best!

As they sang this song..(the trolls)...I thought...I AM a Fixer Upper...

Have you ever watched one of those home improvement shows...You know..the ones where the take an old, dilapidated, outdated, worn out home...practically strip it to the studs only to invest tons of time, energy and money into rebuilding into something better...a new, revitalized, vibrant home!

That is what this Journey is for me...I am taking a body that is tired, overwhelmed and dilapidated and trying to create a new vibrant home.

If you have ever watched one of those shows...you know that at some point in almost every episode there is a moment when something occurs that did not make the original budgetary plan or blueprint...The roof leaks, the plumbing is old or the wiring is bad...etc...This issue always costs more money...requires more time and pushes people to the limits of their patience. Anger...frustration..even tears are shed during this part of the show..

I guess you could say...I have some  faulty wiring...I have hit that big, unexpected road block...my accounts are overdrawn and my blueprints are a bit useless...

Now...at this point in the show...all seems lost...BUT..the show goes on...adjustments are made and the Final Reveal occurs...and there, in that 30 minute show...A  Fixer-Upper is purchased...ripped apart and put back together to make something beautiful...The beginning is filled with fun possibilites...the middle is laborious, painful and at times, a disaster...and then, The Final Reveal...

So...I am having a hard time visioning the Final Reveal of my Journey...

I am having to rely on the Faith of others...a competent set of Contractors who Believe in the Beauty of the Fixer-Upper...even in the middle of the disaster  that is called the Rebuild!

Lastly...If you only ever do ONE thing I suggest here in this place...Do  this...GO SEE FROZEN!!

Take your Kid Heart, Your Grown Up Mind and the willingness to see all of the wonderful wisdom in this fairy tale!

Here is one thing I know...this movie teaches that we all have a little Fixer-Upper in us...some more than others...but as the song says:

Throw a little love their way (throw a little love their way) and you’ll bring out their best
True love brings out their best!

Remember....true love comes in many  different forms...and this Movie...even has a little twist on the idea of True Love!!!

Do yourself a favor...Go see Frozen...it will melt your heart!!