I am still here...
Wish I had adequate words to fully explain what the hell is happening...AND bottom line: I just can't.
I further wish I could share with all of you the amazing love and support I have received...Not that I have not ALWAYS received amazing love and support from the beginning...but given my recent melt down...so many of you have taken the time to let me know this Journey is worth the fight.
My family, my close friends, people from all facets of my life...have really stepped up and shared their wisdom, hearts and encouragement. I am grateful. I need it now...more than ever.
I received a few comments that made me laugh...which is nice! I received many that made me cry and I received a few that were just a perfect combination of love, wisdom and pure, sweet ass kickers!
I love having strong people in my life...Here is just a small sampling of some comments that pretty much kicked my butt/made me laugh...in a good way!!
"don't be so hard on yourself. You are human! Now, pick yourself up & brush yourself off and know that you are wrapped in the loving arms of The Lord!! Prayers abound!!"
"Jaime, have gotta keep workin' it so you can twerk it. LIVE, LOVE, AND ALWAYS LAUGH♥"
"All my love, a big "you got this" hug and a kick to your ass. Get your mind straight, mama. Your body will follow.
"Now girlfriend - you have come too far. Take it day at a time. But REFOCUS! Nothing to be ashamed of. We all lose sight of goals and we just say: Jesus, take the wheel! Love ya. Keep the faith. God is good ALL THE TIME!"
Trust me...all of your comments make me think and fill my heart. I love the diversity of the above comments...the list includes...a Coach and one of the strongest Christians I know, A cousin who is beyond an Overcomer, A friend/former co-worker and one of the smartest, funniest people I know AND my favorite Olympian!
Lastly before I go...Last night...I had the opportunity to sit between (literally) two friends that have greatly impacted my life...One who has been a wonderful blessing for the last 20 years and one who has been a beautiful blessing and a gift during the last year.
The experience filled my heart...reminded me how much God loves me and forced me to be present , honest and open.
Both love me for who I am and both support me in being a better me...Both make me laugh, cry and think! You gotta love that!
You both know who you are and I love you both...
I got out today...walked a couple of miles...took a selfie...One step at a Time...
I am relying on Faith...I still struggle with being embarrassed by this melt down...but...shame is only detrimental to my progress...I am still Asking, Seeking, Knocking...and praying...a WHOLE Lotta Praying.
Thank you for your patience with me...I can be a real pain in the ass! Definitely,working on gettin' my mind STRAIGHT....Love that!!!
I still Believe the following:
I can Do ALL Things through Christ who gives me strength! Phil 4:13