A little over a year ago...I was having some knee trouble (right knee)...it was right in the middle of the never ending Migraine saga...and my pain tolerance was a big, fat ZERO!!! So...it was easy to persuade me to go to an orthopedic Doc to see what the deal was...
At the time I was "living" in the guest bedroom/Emily's playroom on the 2nd floor of Donna/Bill's house. I was traveling up and down stairs much more often than normal and after a while...began to wince every time I had to go up or down...My knee began to swell...blah, blah, blah....
So I went to the Dr....He said I have a little arthritis and that if I lost weight (SURPRISE) it would greatly reduce the strain on the knee...made sense to me...even though my tolerance for the "it is because you're fat" response was wearing thin! Pardon the pun!
So...He said in the mean time..I can give you a Cortisone shot and drain the knee (ewwwww!!). His assistant gave me a shot of Lidacaine...drained my fat knee and gave me a steroid shot! Easy Peasy right...WRONG!!! Less than 15 minutes later...I was in the back of an ambulance traveling across the parking lot (literally) in full on, scary as hell, anaphylaxis!!! So...just in case you don't know...It is beyond weird to have a reaction to a steroid shot...As a matter of fact, the treatment FOR anaphylaxis IS a steroid!!! So as you might imagine...given my experience...the same treatment process seems unlikely!!!
Clearly...I am still too Fluffy for my knee...and my current dilemma is that it is extremely painful to workout with my knee in its current state!!
MY REACTION!!!! Panic!!!! If I am unable to workout...I am unable to lose weight...more than likely...I will gain weight...so PANIC!!!
I am going to try walking tonight...and then an upper body workout...and I am going to PRAY for a solution!
I really do not mean to be a Negative Nelly!!! I am praying and I am working on trusting God's plan...I am just having a difficult time seeing the forest for the trees!!!
I do know that I can overcome...I do know that this is a temporary setback..at least somewhere in my consciousness...I am just having a hard time finding that file!!! :)
OK...so here is the rest of the whining...the pain...well the pain is my Kryptonite!!! It makes me nervous...and it is consistent...which means I am consistently nervous!!! So...As you might have already guessed...I am fighting the eating Demon!!! I am not a good self soother...Without Food...
I actually feel embarrassed as I write that...but it is just a truth that needs to be said until it is not true anymore!!
I am fighting though...mostly in my head...via prayer and lots of self-cheerleading...
I thought of my friend Amy! She used to say this little phrase...It's No Step for a Stepper!!!!
Though I am not Feeling Like a Stepper today!!! I know that I CAN be one!!! I can conquer this rough patch in the road! I am going to keep saying it until it is TRUE!!!
As I have told you guys before...I use this place to write my fears...my truths and the things that seem true but are NOT so!!! It is a place where I write HOPE and I write my HOPE FORs....and part of that for me...is getting out of my head the untruths...the doubts and the fears!
So as I practice my faith...practice Overcoming today's challenges...I hope you will continue to be patient with me...
This Journey is not about perfection...but I can try to make it be about being perfect on any given day...You know...and the funny part...is that I am not really a perfectionist...BUT...I do seem to at times, to get caught in the trap that this Journey has to be really as close to perfect as possible...
But...to counteract that...I really do just try to focus on why I started this blog...For Accountability...NOT for a documentation of a perfect process!!! Just Accountability...to myself, to those that are helping me get through this Journey and to God...as a place to write the good, the bad and the ugly!!! Again...as a place to share the Hope of a having a healthier life...a life where I do my dead level best to be real! Really honest...Really genuine...and maybe, every once in a while...Really funny!!! All in hopes of being Really Healthy!
You are going to see the below quite often if you follow along this Roller coaster Journey of mine.
I need these words below more than ever!
I can Do ALL things through Christ Who Strengthens Me...Phil 4:13
And I am posting something that Kerri shared with me a few weeks back...a message in which she very smartly said "Listen Up"!!! I am still listening...I promise!!!
Below is an article...about sabotaging weight loss...I thought I would share!