Tuesday, February 5, 2013

The Mystery of Grace

Hello and Good Evening...I sound a bit like Dracula...Good Evening...Anyway...here it is approaching 11:00 PM on Tuesday evening.  I went back to work today.  Still feeling a little "off" but am better. 

 I have actually started some new job duties at work and I like the change.  It may not last forever but for now I like what I am doing...so that is a nice change from the last several chaotic weeks.  Several of my co-workers and I (more so for them) have really faced some rather daunting work challenges and the stress levels in our office has been off the charts.  They are so young and bless their hearts...I am NOT.  I have BEEN there and DONE that and watching them struggle is quite challenging.  Unfortunately, the part of me that worked 60-70+ hours per week, weekends, national holidays, etc...well, she be gone!!! 

I worked 50+ hours for several weeks and was emotionally and physically drained.  So as I approach my 46th birthday...I aware of something for the 1st time.  I am OK not being the overachiever in my professional life.  I am not large and in charge.. just large! ( I could not resist).  I do my job with integrity, honesty and I do work hard.  But I can longer sacrifice my sanity for a paycheck.  I have spent many nights turning off the lights in the office and still do at times.  This makes me unhappy and it is not fulfilling.  So as I continue on this Journey to lose weight, regain my health, find balance in my life, I must accept that I must work to LIVE. and not the other way around.  I like my job and I love my co-workers and I have to have a quality life outside of the office.  My life depends on it. 

So do not ask what got me on that...just thinking I guess.  This is all new to me in many ways and you guys are my often my sounding board.  I am taking these thoughts that I have...these little "light bulb" moments and putting them on paper (virtual paper)...maybe I will turn them into something bigger one day.  SPOILER ALERT AND WARNING:  I may have other "soap box-esque" moments to share as I approach another birthday...You have been warned!! :)

I am done for tonight.  Time for the Fluffy to get some sleep!  I must say that I am still amazed by God's Grace.  It is quite mysterious.  I often don't recoginize it until it washes over me and I very rarely see it coming....I found this quote today and shared it on Facebook...I want to share it here too! 

"I do not at all understand the mystery of grace--only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us"~Anne LaMott

I heard the below song today...I don't think I have ever heard it before.  I loved it.  It is haunting and touching. 

Alison Krauss-A Living Prayer

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