Monday, April 8, 2013

Dear God, This is Jaime (again)

HI there...It has been a long Monday...Another day of this Journey almost in the books!  As I write this tonight..I must admit that the last 2 days have been a struggle. 

For several reasons...I guess.  As I strive to be honest here and give an accurate, truthful account of my weight loss journey and all that goes with that...I must tell you that days like the last 2...baffle me! 

I really do work to maintain positivity and I spend time focusing on letting Go and Letting God...but some days...well, some days it just does not happen.  I admire people who have the ability to truly turn over EVERY issue to God at the time the issue happens...Unfortunately...that ain't me!!!

However, I will use this space...this time, to ask for your prayers...instead of enumerating every issue...I will ask you to pray for strength, for continued courage, for my health and for the success of this Journey...whatever that may look like!

I will tell you this...though I am fairly sure that most of you that read this blog daily or even weekly know that I have an auto-immune disease that has impacted my daily life since I was 21 years old.  This disease, over the years, has been a debilitating, pain in the butt!  Though I have always generally managed to function at relatively high levels, as you might have guessed, the older I get...the harder it has been to manage.  I guess this is why I say so frequently how amazing this Journey has unbelievable..7 months ago...I was completely convinced that a Journey of this nature would not be possible for me...I believed that my life was going to be about managing this disease, maintaining good coping skills and praying that somehow, I would be able to work and take care of all that comes with living!!!

Now, I believe that I have been given an opportunity to eradicate this disease from my a healthy way that does not include strong medications, Home I.V. therapy, killer antibiotics and multiple hospital stays!

I KNOW that this is a God Journey...I know that God has given me this opportunity...Sometimes I do not understand why or better said, why now...But quite frankly...who cares...I have this opportunity and I am taking it!

I think the thing I need to say...the point I am attempting to that I still am learning to manage all of these changes in context to having a medical issue that still exists...for today!  Just like losing the weight..I believe that better health will take time.  Both losing weight AND growing healthy are a healing process and there are lots of moving parts to that process. 
I think that sometimes ALL of the moving parts overwhelm me...I at times, don't readily understand what the next step is or what God's plan might look like! 

As I am sure all of you must know...Life is Messy at times and for me, focusing on weight loss, healthy eating plans, work, daily life, responsibilities, finances (ugh) and you know...basic life crap...can be overwhelming...

So today...I must say my prayer of overwhelm...Dear God, This is Jaime (again)!

Below is a song I love...sung by an artist I love...this song makes me happy and sad...all at the same time...that is how I have been feeling the last couple of it was a perfect fit for tonight's post!

Eva Cassidy-What a Wonderful World

"Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong."
Ella Fitzgerald

1 comment:

  1. And one of our good friends, every time he prays, he always starts... Well Lord it's me again...I love it and I love that you know who has given you this opportunity, in this time of your life, and how He will see you to your goal. Love you... Barb.