Thursday, May 9, 2013

Sweat instead of Tears

Reader Beware...I am a bit of a feisty fluffy girl today...some might actually say a bit angry..but...Have no fear...I am really praying about my attitude and am NOT eating in lieu of my crazy I got that going for me!!! 

So here is what life feels like....

This, by the way, is one of my worst nightmares...really...I have had a nightmare that I was stuck upside down on a roller coaster...scary stuff!!! 

So I am feeling a bit upside down...and the ONLY thing I like that is upside down is this....

Pineapple Upside Down Cake...which I cannot't happenin'

So as you frequent readers know...I am prone to discussing my feelings they generally pertain to changing my life...believe it or not...I do not share them ALL..and strangely...despite my new found desire to reveal my guts here...I still have difficulty sharing my "feelings" one on one...I have a few close friends/family members that have the dubious honor of hearing my "guts" with any regularity.  Bless their hearts...So as this Journey has progressed...I have become aware that it feels like I need to expand that circle...or at least I think I do...however, some of my first efforts to do so have been a bit of mess...and I am left feeling like a moron for doing so...thus the regrets I spoke of yesterday...So being the emotional wingnut that I am...I spent yesterday wallowing...and and on ALL day...Please here me say...I DO NOT CRY MUCH and certainly do not cry in public places with any regularity.  So...

At one point I literally said out loud...What in the hell is wrong with me???  Part of me thinks that a portion of my weight loss has included losing my coping skills... or quite possibly I may have lost my MIND. So this only reinforced my moronic feelings...HELLOOOOOO!!!  GET IT TOGETHER!!!!

So...I did something that I have not been able to do in quite some time...I went to the gym and I busted my own butt....I did 4+ miles on the Evil Elliptical in less than 45 minutes...I burned over 400 calories and I did 3 sets of 10...180lb...leg presses!!!  I worked the "moron" OUT!!!  Sweat instead of Tears!!! It felt fantastic! 

SO am thinking Awww Hell....who cares!  I have been letting it all hang out for the past 8 months and it is not over yet...I may need to get over myself and just chalk yesterday up to experience and move on!  I will say the midst of me feeling like a moron for sharing these guts of mine...I get this message! 

Jaime, I had to go back & read yesterday's post to get the full understanding of today's post (Unfortunately, I don't always have the time for FB. Imagine that--I AM retired! Right?) You said from the beginning of your journey that you would be straight forward & honest!! I love & appreciate that! I, too, struggle with self doubt and guilt--daily! I just believe that is one thing that Satan uses to try to get the best of me, if I let him! You have so many people lifting you up in prayer!! "If God is for me, who can be against me!!" Keep on keepin' on! Love!!

Again...I am reminded that I am not terminally unique...that I have other peoples problems and I am reminded that other people's problems are all equally as important as mine.

I was sitting this morning literally itemizing all the things about yesterday that sucked...I was in a place of analyzing my thoughts...I threw down my soap box about that fact that someone insinuated to me that there life was somehow was busier, more complicated than mine...MAN...I made a list in my head of all the things I do daily...the responsibilities I have...the problems....I WAS ON A ROLL...then I came across the below...

I REALLY encourage you to take a few minutes and watch the below...


Zach's Story

For me...this was a moment of WOW...Who am I to complain.  Here is my reality...All of us experience trials and many times when I am in the middle of what feels like a big deal...I lose perspective.  Though this Journey I am on is important...Today, the above videos provided me with some needed perspective.  Again...Life is Precious...

I shared these videos on every social media outlet, email, etc...that I am part of...and I am sharing it here.  After sending Cousin Barbara wrote the following.

So, no guarantees in this life. Make the most of what God has provided for us. Appreciate and love one another and tell our loved ones we love them…and often.


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