Earlier today I posted this on Facebook..."Just so all of you know...There are some days that I just do NOT like being a grown up!!!
I posted something similar on Twitter...Every once in a while...this whole being a "grown up" thing is for the birds...craving a
So clearly I spent a portion of my day whining on my favorite social media outlets...I am SOOO good at it!!
Today was a difficult day. More difficult than I can say and yet...now that the day is drawing to a close...I am so very aware that with prayer, with the loving support of my friends and Mom...with lots and lots more prayers...a few tears and a stomach ache...I got through it! I put on my Big Girl Pants and I forged onward...
I did not do it perfectly...I made some mistakes...and my hope is that no permanent damage was done. I made an important decision today that feels like one more step in a positive direction...in the direction that will allow me to further take hold of this vision of a more balanced, happier, healthier life!
As the past couple of days have flown by...I began to realize that there are times when I miss being a kid...truly not thinking about big things...big decisions..instead my focus was just on things like staying inside the lines when I was coloring.... and having a full box of properly sharpened Crayola crayons.
I love coloring...always have and still do...I like to color as a way of relaxing and I still struggle to stay inside the lines...just never was a prolific colorer!!! My Mom and My Aunt Bobbie are the best colorers I have ever known...they could always stay perfectly within the lines....remarkable!
However...I may have been one of those kids (and adults) that was quite challenged when it comes to coloring inside the lines....It could be contributed to a certain amount of innate impatience! I was more concerned about using ALL of my colors more than taking my time with each color!!!
This decision I had to make today required that I do my best to stay within the lines and that I did not use too many "colors" too quickly in my decision making process. I felt like I needed to be patient. It was important that I stayed patient and did not rush the process.
Truthfully...that continues to be one of my biggest challenges along this Journey...Patience...I have certainly talked about it before...but I felt like I needed to address it again today. You see...for one of the first times in my life...I took my time...Did my best to color within the lines...because it was necessary. I need to slow down and listen for God's guidance...not be influenced by fear, guilt, worry or any other reactive emotion. Now truthfully...I don't mind being a crazy colorer....I like the fact that I color with lots of colors...makes things interesting...But I must admit that there are certain situations...certain moments...that staying within the lines leads to clarity and precision..
My decision today required both clarity and precision. I could not blur the lines...I needed to be patient. I needed God's guidance...
So...Now that my decision is made...I think I am going to bust open a brand new box of crayons...Color with every color in the box...do my best to stay in the lines...but if I creep out every once in a while...well...so be it!
Today...my coloring was not perfect...but it was my best effort. Now I must sleep.
Thank all of you for your prayers and helping me be patient!
Lindsey, Donna, Claire, Chisem, Tone Tone...thank you all!!! You guys are some sharp Crayolas!!!
My Lindsey sent me this today...I thought I would share it!